Long ago there was a little boy (he was six years old at the time)who played all alone by himself everyday.the little boy never had any friends.the reason for this was that his mother kept having to move them from place to place for new jobs.they werent stable.because of this the boy fell behind in school and felt stupider than the rest of the kids in his grade.he also didnt know what the new trends were and what was ”cool” to the other kids.the boy tried so very very hard to fit in.he just couldnt do it.he tried and tried and tried but no luck. […]
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always
Wrote this for a friend; Thought it may also belong here, for anyone in the same position as her…
written by OursIsTheFury
… And the fact that you’re still alive after 9 years of depression and 8 years of suicidal thoughts proves to me that you’re strong. Strong enough to keep going, and strong enough to kick depression’s ass.
Depression makes people wage wars against themselves between the happy and the sad, and sometimes the sad wins, but not always. Often times, people can overcome the sadness and the depression. Sometimes it’s a short war, but most of the time it’s not.
Not your’s. Your’s has lasted nearly a decade, and it may last a whole ‘nother, but in the end, I know you’ll win, and I know it’ll […]
I am a coward. I should have killed myself when i first thought of it. Ironically, i am terrified of self harm. I came from a broken home. My parents were both hard workers, i never really went through financial hardships…. That i could recall but i was rather young when we were poor so maybe that is why. My father is an alcoholic, he always has been. He would constantly hit my mother in front of us and would cause a scene no matter where we were. He was only violent when he was drunk. I remember being 10 when things really started going […]
I’m sick and tired of never being ‘that person’. I’m always the ‘extra’, the girl there, the invisible one, the girl that came with someone, the un-existing. I hate myself for that, but I can’t show me as I am with everybody… I believe I’m too weird. I guess it must be that because everybody says that I’m hard to talk to. That I don’t think like everybody, that I’m weird. An outsider. I want someone to care. I want someone to come over and say hey! let’s talk; instead of: Is she your friend? Can you help me with her? I fucking hate my […]
I’ll stop trying to get close to anyone. I’ll stop trying to fit in. I’ll stop trying to find someone to stay by my side.
I can’t forget you. I keep hearing you whispering in my ears. Whenever I close my eyes, I still see you. I can’t accept anyone because I still remember you. What is the point of me trying to find someone else to stay with me, when I myself keep rejecting them? Why would I hope to find someone, if I know in the end I will leave them because they are not you? Why the hell would I pretend […]
I’m still around, I moved in with a friend for a bit at her apartment. I’m at a Starbucks now, so I get an Internet connection. I’m moving my stuff back to my house though, my roommate has a boyfriend. And he’s always there. And they don’t understand how to close a door. Nuff said. Sorry I didn’t get on sooner so I didn’t freak anyone out
I think that I’m the type of a good girl, I have never talk back to my parents, not even when they crushed my dream of becoming a ice skater, not even when my mother forgave me from seeing the love of my life, but actually she is over- protective just with me, I have 2 bigger sisters, but the only one that my parents don’t allow to go out at night or even with my friends on a Saturday is me, I really can’t live anymore in this controlled life, they are making me do all the things that they can’t do in their […]
“I’ve walked through this life never having the intention to hurt anyone or to anger anyone. I’ve walked through this life trying to make friends, not enimies. I’ve always tried to put a smile on everyone’s face so they will never have to know the pain and suffering I went through. I went through this life thinking that if I seen someone that looked like they were going through what I was, I’d do anything to make their day better. Because I believed that I should do more good in this world than the evil I have done. I feel like I accomplished that. There […]
rember i said sometimes;
ive been in lots of them.. some times there meanigful, some times there just for sex, and sometimes there just because you need someone to sit there and complement you all the fucking time… witch is okay, because some times its okay.
right now i am in a relashonship with nick, this is one of those meaningful ones.. before this one i had a boynamed john and all he wanted was sex and i am not secure with my body enough to do that sooo…. there for i dont think i will ver have sex . but some one should always have someone […]
since i was a kid iv always felt like i dont belong in this world. i can never do anything right and dont fit in atall. i have no friends and if i do make a friend they always end up betraying me. i made a very close sucide attempt at 13 and was told my life would get better but 10 years on its not i just feel like im waiting to die to end this pain. every one says sucide is wrong, i dont agree if ur unhappy y is it wrong to take ur own life. iv been a self harmer since […]
Hello whoever wants to read and share some insight feel more then welcome. I’m gonna share a condensed version of my life story I think it will be good for me dunno but it cant hurt. here goes.
well I was born in 85 im an only child and I have two loving hard working parents always were always will be. I had a great first 5 years according to pictures and stories from family. the family next door and my family were close friends. well as close as neighbors can be I suppose. always cheerful and doin things for each other. always welcome in each […]
As I walk through life I imagine it’s one big knife. At any second I can slip and watch my life end. I can imagine the pain I would cause if I went, but I can only blame myself. I try my hardest to get it out of my mind but there’s always that one thing that puts me on the edge. That one person who pushes things to far. That one person who makes the pain not look as bad. That’s why they say time heals all wounds but sometimes the cut is just too deep.
I have not yet accepted my defeat. I shall complete myself, whatever it takes. in my this journey yet i have explored many forbidden zones. the deeper i go the more forbidden zones lose their holiness/untouchability. and a mere touch of me crumbles their whole fortress that they created in thousands or millions of years. And now i shall move one more step. Once social connectedness preserved the species and it was called the highest good. But what is species preservation to me? My suffering has paid all my debts and i owe nothing to nobody. Tell me, what makes another person more worthy to you than […]
Hey y’all. I’ve been a long time lurker and just decided to make an account. Reading some of the things here seems to help me sleep at night and reminds me that there’s always an alternative to life.
My title to this post is tired of life and that statement couldn’t be any truer for me right now. Fourth of July just past and I celebrated it with my blood relatives, relatives and their friends. The party was at my aunts house and she has a pool and yard for fireworks. Many people would be excited to enjoy the beautiful day out in the sunshine, […]
i took pills last night, left extra food and water out for the cat, taped a sign to my chest that read ” i hope i die tonight Fuck you ALL!”
ever tried to kill yourself and it failed? how do you feel when you wake up and know it didnt happen…or you didnt cut deep enough…or whatever method you tried? i am a TOTAL FAILURE as i have tried so many times and obviously, ALWAYS been UNsucessful!!!
no one cares or listens to me in my life….why bother being here (life) if all i get is crapped on? Why dont others see my pain… that they […]
today my mom was yelling saying she wanted to diee & i said me too so she told me to do it & she said she was gunna go home & take pills and kill herself because she didnt want to be a mother anymore and she was done with us (brother,sister & i) …………..i called the cops on her telling them that she was making threats about killing herself am i wrong ??…. i knw shes gunna hate me even more now and never talk to me because of that. my family probably gunna stop talkking to me as well…. im always the […]
I’ve always felt there’s something seriously wrong with me and the gap between me and others has increased and become more obvious over the years. I can’t communicate and I end up being hated by every single person who ever gets to know me, and then they label my insecurity and fear as ‘social anxiety disorder’ as if it’s an unnatural response. When I appear online on facebook people go offline and someone’s just said “god I give up” just because I, liked her post. How can I not commit suicide when I am so brain damaged that I can’t even communicate to kids or […]
I find some sick satisfaction in judging others. I always compete. I always need to be better than anyone else. I always fail to be. I’m so negative. I loathe myself. My body is so hairy, even as a female, because I have PCOS and Hirsutism. My stomach is HUGE even though I lost 30lbs (I went from 140 to 110 last year but I look 150. I’m 5ft 3). My wardrobe is that of a 5th grader. I can’t afford anything new. I’m always afraid I’m going to be homeless. I have been dating a guy for 7 years who is abusive in all […]
Dear precious Angel, I love you more than anything! You were never bad I promise, but mommy has to leave this place. I can not be her anymore, but will wait at heavens gates for you. I will not go in till I find you there. I am sorry I know your sad. I just can’t stay in far too sad. My heart is heavy and my eyes always cry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. You will have daddy and grandma and grandpa your imma and Randy paw too. But mommy isn’t able to stay , but in heaven is where I’ll wait for […]