I didn’t mean to do it but i did and i am sorry. It hurts but it makes me forget. I am sorry i let my family down. I promised them i would not do it and i did, I thought i out grew it but i haven’t. I thought i was strong enough but i am not. I am sorry Love you Brice, hope you can forgive me.
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i see everybody moving on, everyone whos left me. everyone who was important to me. and i have moved on too maybe physically but not mentally. i still long for those people for the talk for the closeness for the laughs for being in their presence. Some im glad have moved on the ones who were negative mean nasty but it seems as though they are happy…  then why cant i be happy. fully completely. there always seems to be something. And although  seeing the people i once considered friends, lovers, family happy should make me happy as well there is a twinge of sadness […]
Believe it or not I am vacationing in Italy right now. I am visiting my parents (who have been here for the last year) and my mama and my self are in rome. I have been going through a custody battle for about the last year. My son is 5 years old and i had him for the first 3 1/2 years until i sent him to his dads to recover from my addiction and restore my mental health… then he decided not to send him back. (Granted his father wasnt a part of his life until then and moved clear across the country to […]
Hie,i am new here.And i have planned to die.Or rather,planning to do so.I have read quite a few posts here,and i believe that there is a lot of frustration,self-unworthiness and bitterness amongst each of us.
I am an 18 yr old,just completed my 12th.I have been feeling depressed since,i guess,6th std.That was the time when my father came back from oman coz he lost his job.Since childhood i probably have been a girl with a lot of self-pride.Most importantly,i always needed validation from others as to who i am.I believe that it is due to my own weakness;my inability to accept myself.Anyway,so my problems started in […]
i shouldnt ask this retorical question…. Â but would you be mad if i killed myself?
to be honest, i think im ready. Â nothing more will come of my life. Â i wont ever be happy, ive realised…. Â so the is no point…
my goals just keep going to shit and i decide on something lesser… Â to the point where i dont with to be happy anymore, i just wished to end the fruitless pursuit of happyness…. Â and now… Â i wish i can end this…
i cant do this anymore and im sorry if i dissapoint you… Â sorry if im wasting my voice or whatever you think it is that […]
Last night we had a fight. I haven’t spoken to you since you told me you liked me and since I told you about my cutting and eating disorder. And then we stopped talking. Why? It can’t be answered with any fairness because you decided to stop texting anyone to see who would answer. Did i text? No. Why? Because how am i supposed to talk to you after I’ve just opened up to you and after you just confessed your feelings for me. Awkward? Hell yes. It was so awkward to talk to you because YOU made it awkward but now when we fought […]
Every decision that I have made each mistake and failure in my life is floating around inside my head. The fact that i’m emotionally disconnected because I’m terrified of feeling anymore more pain. I don’t want anyone not even my ex and deep down I think I still love him. I still talk to him I still see him and I’m sure that’s a big mistake on my part. But I can’t let go maybe it’s because I’m afraid, maybe I like remembering the good. Its unhealthy I know that, but I seriously think that there is something wrong with me mentally. Is it wrong […]
life is full of surprises right and i have faith in it too but i dont get it why im being so impatient. there are things which i let go of and trust me i never had any regrets but these days it is different story, Â i always value my principles and morals and always used to think that if people come to me because they think im someone who have power and money they are not sincere. BUT lol due to this i have been isolated by my family they dont value me anymore they only pity me and that is quite upsetting i […]
ill never be good enough, ill always just be a stupid crazy whale. like yesterday when i was walking down the street and someone yelled out “whale”! and i couldnt stop crying. my boyfriend treats me like shit , but thats probably because i am a piece of shit. im crazy. and i cant live with myself anymore. i dont know how to live anymore. i cant wait til i get the balls to just down all my meds at once.
i feel like giving  up
i try to write down how i feel but somehow the page stayed blank
and i couldnt have described it any better
i sat in my room and i asked myself if this is how the stars feel when the sky swallows them whole.
my eyes go heavy and i willingly closed them hoping i would never have to open them again…
-deathly_paradise
I must do it now. Now is the perfect time to do it. Now is probably the only chance i’ll ever get. my graduation completed last week. my sister’s marriage is also done. I am free right now. absolutely free. if i stick another month or so i’ll be expected to start finding a job. and i know i can’t do it at the time when i am expected to do some worldly thing. right now i am free. i must do it now. if i miss this opportunity i know i will regret that my whole life. my whole life will be ruined. i […]
So I think the one thing I am proudest of is how much of a geek i am (LARP D&D video games etc…) heres the thing i havnt had the time to attend any of my games lately because of real life responsibilities
To get a feeling for me as a person im 25 i live with a super good looking girl who i somehow convinced to date me a few years ago and i just started a great job that is allowing me to get out of the factories ive worked in since i was 17… but because I dont have time to go to […]
I’m 16 next month… i cant take this anymore. I’ve been through so much. I believe God makes our plans before we are born and this is part of mine. I tried telling people but they think I’m being dramatic or I’m not serious. I wish someone understood. My friends know but they cant help me, they tried. I cant help myself anymore. I’ve been harming since 6th grade but it isn’t helping anymore. I’ve become a raging ***** to everyone and i dont know how to stop it. All i do in life is hurt the ones I’m close to and break everything i […]
i’ve decided that i’m done; i’m done with everything, and i’m ending it. goodbye
suicide isnt a joke nor is it a game.thats really fucked up when u make fun of people who cut and shit.ISNT NOT A JOKE OR A GAME stop being fvcking retards and make fun of people who r suicidual or were suicidual….. its not fun i know because now ppl at school ask me whats that on your arm and i say scars and they ask for what and i dont tell them because im afraid of getting bullied!so i know how it feels to get rumors spread about me nd shit because i have been at this school for about 5 months and […]
I have tried so hard the past weeks, so hard to try and push on. I’ve been looking for guns online, cheap ones, just to end it all. I’m only 16, and i’m so scared. I see no other option then suicide. I’m so ready to leave, but I don’t know what’s holding me back. Is it because I’m weak? Is it because I still love people? I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I read this story recently about this mother named Elizabeth who lost her child to see how it’d feel if my parents lost me. All I do is disappoint them, […]
I’ve been taking 10 advils (ibuprofen) 200 mg each every day and i have no idea why.
I’ve been telling myself that it’s because i like the pain but i know that’s not true
Maybe it’s because it will probably end up killing me. I always wanted to know what it would be like to die
The daisy days go buy, i sit dazed and confused ,laying one with the being beneath me. he hugs me she trust me ,she know i am loyal to her trees, magnificent beings. closing my eyes,I wonder upon the mountain side, so small infinite to the world outside. I love it all, the one thing i could possibly love is her,the song birds sing ,i sigh the wind fills my lungs to saves my cries. Brush the hair of a girl who is so confined, so small to both her and time, I try to just be, love everything she made; including me, be open […]
Its all pointless? I have no one anymore i dont even know why im posting on here either my lifes pointless and im done with it all 🙁 im gonna end it now forget everyone just do what i want anyway :/ im done with life and im sick of people always trying to keep me here so they feel better and i dont care anymore all my friends have gone and abandoned me too my girlfriend got taken to a psychiatric center and she probably wont get out so here i am alone with all the painkillers i could find and im DONE goodbye […]
all of my life i have felt really dumb and i didnt know what to do.it got worst in fifth grade people bullied me and made fun of me i really didnt understand why… until one day i couldnt take it anymore thats when self harming came in…. for three full years i have self harmed and it is very hard to stop. i finally 3 months ago.i never have ben this happy.all of my life…… i was a depressed little girl until 3 months ago.im set free. finally i know why i was depressed because of my past and what i have seen.from a […]