Don’t know what “set me off” but now I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Maybe God will answer me this time.
Until then I’m going to blast the fuck out of some angry music and hope night time rolls around quickly so everyone goes away and I can have my blade. Dammit what’s wrong with me
Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]
god I’m so fucking pissed off with my DHB; They expect us to pay through the nose in taxes and then won’t even give us the services we need!! WTF is this shit?!? and people ask me why I’m an anarchist… I don’t need the health of the majority dictating what sort of illnesses I get covered for!!! fucking idiots…. and then they act all suprised when we wan’t to kill ourselves! well DUHHH!!! USE YOUR BRAINS FUCKING DUMB PEICE OF SHIT POLITICIANS
It’s like I want to die but when I do something that puts my life in jeopardy I panic . its like in that moment when I have the chance to die I feel like I can’t do thi. And I think of every possible reason there is to live. Then something happens to me and I wish I did it and there is so much pain and I am angry. Why cant I do it?
Cold blue steel
Pressed to my temple
I tremble some
this trigger has always been light
No tears will spill
for me, not for me
only anger for the mess
I will leave
A half-century of life
like trash in the wind
leaves me so angry
– that my old man didn’t jack off in the sink
Lately, I’ve been becoming more and more angry about my situation at home(if I could, I would leave it but thats not an alternative due to factors like cops and getting a beatdown) It makes me so furious that I punch the walls in rage and just take out my blade and let it rip into my skin and after a few seconds, that blood flowing out, the release, the peace, the quiet within is an amazing feeling. It’s a temporary relief I know but which makes me think about running the blade down my jugular and taking the escape.
my BPD wont worsen, my temper […]
I’m here, they’re here.
Where am I?
Invisible, alone.
Not heard, not seen, I don’t excist.
Quiet, all by myself.
Useless, can’t be heard.
Sad, angry, unimportant.
That’s what I am.
Lonely, can’t breathe.
Alone, without help.
Lost, never to be found.
In a place that never excisted.
over the past few months I’ve pretty much realized and accepted the failure that I am and that feeling inside me doesn’t go away. I’m sick and tired of it and each time all the expectations that are brought infront of me by my parents make me realize even more of the enormity of how badly I’m failing them. it kills me inside and each time I get these supposed wake up calls it makes me so angry inside and I cut myself and keep moving the blade over and over my first cut. I let the blood flow, see the trail and ponder over the […]
Does what I will describe ever happened or is happening to you?
At first of my depression, I was of course sad, hopeless, and in great pain. But as the years go, I keep those feel but it’s becoming more and more twisted. I feel this anger growing and I feel like in those moments I really am dangerous. I’m not a bad person but I can’t stand any more of the injustices, of people like us living one foot in the grave while other people have it all easy and painless. Laughing doesn’t feel sincere, it’s always with a part of bitterness. I can’t feel […]
A vast majority if my life as been spent sedate. Â This may seem like a bad thing. Perhaps it has stifled my coping mechanism. Either way the reality I the situation is this. when I was 16 I attempted Suicide. My parents foun me my stomach was pumped an I spent 9 weeks in the mental ward at the hospital, as long as another 5 months at a day treatment program. Truthfully at that time I wanted help. it seemed to me the more that I tried to use the services around me. The worse I really was, or the worse the people overseeing me […]
I felt fine almost all day. Somewhat normal, and able to handle things. Then I got home. Now I’m just extremely tired. I’m angry, at what I don’t know. I’m sad. I’m…me.
I don’t know why I’m gettin so mad. It’s not like something to get mad at, it’s the smallest things that make me go off into a loud yelling or scream. I have so much anger and I dont know why.
I get mad at my mom, dad, sister, and especially my friends. I love my friends but I’m starting to hate everything about them. It’s like I want to punch them in the face everyday.
I just feel angry and depressed. So ANGRY…
I feel like the devil is inside of me and taking over my body creating so much hate. Theres just so many things in […]
I’m angry and anxious 24/7. I think about killing people all the time. Usually the homeless; no one would miss them in their absence. Sometimes children–isn’t the world overpopulated enough? I hate what I’ve become. Even my cat isn’t safe. I feel like I’m losing my soul to madness.
I’m just bitter and angry. You guys didn’t leave me. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.
I served in the Civil Air Patrol. And I was proud of it. Around December, my life dried up. I was around an Airman then. I was angry with myself. I was a total slacker, and was so lazy it infuriated me. I was a disgrace to my squadron, who was often considered the best in the state. The  Disappointment in my own actions made me angry. I was alone. I have been since then. I. am. Dying on the inside. My stress limit has officially been destroyed. Help. Me.
You. Yes, YOU! You need to blow off steam like an overworked, piston pounding engine about to explode. Do not bottle up your emotions, or they will shatter the container as if it was flung against the wall. You must air out your dirty laundry or it will make the house smell like the inner layer of an angry sumos diaper. Venting. It is a healthy necessary, natural process that everyone should exercise to prevent pent up anger, ulcers, tumors, stress, and a faithul re-enactment of call of duty in the park/office/or school. …Or is the idea of venting just a load of hot air?
It […]
I am an Army veteran. I joined up to help people. I ended up getting hurt in the process. I am now out of the army and have a wife and child. I can’t stop thinking about the tour I done or the people I lost. I know I’m supposed to move on and care about my wife and child first and foremost, but, I don’t. I love them, but, I can’t feel for them like I guess i should. My thoughts are always focused on tour and I am often angry. I get so angry I scream. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m […]
Is is wrong to want to hurt him the way he hurt me?
Is it wrong to want to take it all from him so he is left with nothing?
All the years, all my time, all my efforts.
All the pain, all the fears,
he took away, only to bring worse ones near.
My heart says i still love him.
My heart won’t let me hurt him.
But my mind, it’s going crazy.
How can I hurt him anyway?
I’m so confused and angry.
But not at him.
I’m angry at me.
I let this all happen.
I can’t hurt him..
And my heart, […]
Anyone ever had something terrible done to them? I did. Police, doctors counsellors. Everyone was concerned. I wasn’t. Was I suppose to? I was upset sure, but everyone assumed I was suicidal, depressed, I was crazy, I needed help. Putting words in my mouth. Sure I was depressed I still am and was way before this, and sure I’m suicidal but I’ve been for a long time. This changed nothing. Or I though it didn’t. It was funny the first few months I acted like nothing happened. Everyone was concerned, and I was neutral to the whole thing. It never hit me. But as months […]
I have been so pissed off all day and i’m not over exaggerating. Im getting sick and tired of people using me, abusing me, and making me feel like nothing and im sorry.. yea.. im sorry. im just gonna like.. emotionally detatch myself from everything. you know, my depression is getting bad again. I am regressing into a deeper depression than i was before. and i can feel it not only in my mind but in my heart.. and its killing me. my meds are making me crzy… and .. i just dont know anymore.I wanted to try and be happy but everything just keeps […]
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