Im an 18 year old girl, going into my first year of college in the fall. I feel like this is a great time in my life, i’m young, moving onto new things, get to be on my own, get an education, but no. I am miserable. No matter how many good things are happening in my life, I either ruin them or they get ruined. I don’t get a long well with my parents at all, and lately things between them have been really bad. I’ve heard my mom say on multiple occasions she wants to leave him. I know every kid says they […]
Tag:
Anxiety
My suicide note. I’m still working on it. I’m still waiting for help even though I know I’m only fake hoping. I don’t have a purpose anymore. Living is a torture every single day. I set myself a date. I planned everything. I’m pretty hopeless.
Anyways. Here you go, enjoy? I don’t know. Do whatever you want to do with this:
Hey. It’s me. I’m that shitty girl who killed herself because she’s a weak-ass depressed kid who’s only great at complaining and seeking for attention. You probably heard about me now, you’re probably gossiping about it. Anyways, I’m writing this letter because soon enough I’ll be […]
It was depression that killed the remaining happiness I had left, but it was the same thing that keeps me going. Most of the time? I just want to die, to disappear until there are no ashes, no trace of my existence would be left. To be just nothing, as I am now. But the nothingness wouldn’t be overwhelming. As if I never existed. I always think that life was just a joke that I had to deal with. It’s like a prank I need to face everyday. The more I encounter it, the more it makes me sick. Then later on I wouldn’t notice […]
Fisrt of all I’m not proud of this. I’ve never thought I would be publishing something in a page like this. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Second, I’m spanish that’s why my grammar sucks, pretty much that.
I have no idea where should I start. I’ve been depressed for a lot of years, I tried to kill myself a couple of times but I didn’t suceed.
Background:
My parents are not together, they divorced when I was eight. My mother started returning really late from work, kids started bullying me at school, but I could handle it, until I was twelve. My father was getting married […]
I’m eighteen, I’m a senior in high school, and I’ve attended four different high schools, one for each year essentially. I’ve suffered from depression since I was eleven (due to childhood abuse), and during the beginning of my sophomore year, I suffered from my first severe flash back starting my downward spiral of PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. During the fourteenth week of school that year, I was admitted into a private mental health facility for inpatient treatment. I was there for eight days, and right afterwards, I attended iOP which is intensive outpatient; it lasted for six weeks. So I was gone from school […]
I turned eighteen almost a month ago, and I had been in a remission type deal from my Major depressive Disorder for about six months. Until last week. I feel no motivation to do anything. It takes so much effort to take a shower at night, I went from taking full showers at night, to half showers (standing in the corner of the tub and just washing my hair), and then to saying “I’ll just take one in the morning” and end up allowing all three of my alarms to go off and hopping in the shower to wash my hair five minutes before I […]
Right, this is my first post on this site. I’m 16, Cliche angsty teenager. Depressed, Anxious, Low Self esteem, paranoid etc. The full package basically. Recently my parents have discovered about the cutting (and have guessed about the depression from that), and are trying to force me into counselling because of it. I’ve been to counselling before for anxiety, but it did sweet fuck all. Question is, do I do it again? I feel like it would be helpful, because, like everyone else here, I’ve tried to kill myself, and do genuinely want to get better, but can’t see a way of doing it by […]
Wow… it has been over three years since I have been on this site. I found a new site I have been posting on more recently called inkvite. But I would like to take a step back and tell you my story…
As a child I had extremely bad separation anxiety but none of my doctors ever believed my mom. As I got old my mom noticed characteristics of ADD/ADHD in me and she tried to get me tested but no one would test me. She eventually gave up her fight.
As a middle schooler things started getting bad. I was always picked on and bullied. […]
My partner and the love of my life passed away last week and I am in constant despair and disbelief.
Since his passing I’ve tried to kill myself by overdose on ibuprofen and even put a knife to my chest on 2 occasions (survival instincts kicked in). I was found by my sister and mum when I overdosed and so I am still here, to wallow in my pain and misery. If you want to know more you can read my other post.
Anyway, last night I was asleep and in the dream world (its the only way I can escape from the pain), and something strange […]
I’ve wanted my life to end before. I’ve thought of ways I can do it that would have the least amount of impact on the people around me. My family would get over it. Relationships are hard for me so I don’t have any really close friends to worry about. I’ve tried counseling and I’ve taken medication. I’ve reached out to people when I’ve needed help. But you can only reach out to people so many times before you start bringing them down. That’s when they leave you. I’ve worked SO hard to hide this side of me from my boyfriend of two years. There […]
I have always had a rain cloud follow me my whole life its called depression and anxiety and self hate. I wasn’t born capable of being happy or lost it as i grew older and life unfolded. I lack or never had the tools to love myself. I cant remember a time when i wasn’t depressed and anxious. Even as a kid id never smile have bad self esteem. I fear ill never be able to live on my own and function through adulthood unassisted and happy. Every bad memory traumatic sad event I’ve been through is burnt into my […]
No, the pain of not getting to go out when you wanted to is not as bad as the pain of losing someone you love. No, you don’t have the right to act as if these small things you call “first world problems” are as bad as it gets. There is a fine line between inconvenience and pain. Between a small glitch in a normal to semi good day and having to refrain from the extreme urge to kill yourself. I’m so young, but I could swear I’ve felt the slits of the blood sea’s razor and have checked into hell too many times to […]
The only thing keeping me alive is that I’m ironically afraid of dying
by graveyardbee
written by graveyardbee
No one will probably read this but I’d like to pretend they will because I can’t tell anyone I know.
I’m almost 17 years old and I’ve had general anxiety since the day I was born, and severe clinical depression since I was 7. In the last two years, my life has hit 20,000 leagues under the sea. My depression has gotten worse and worse and I’ve tried so many different medications and none work, which doesn’t help ease the ache of what’s been happening. December 17, 2013 I started dating one of my best friends, and I was head over heels in love. I was […]
I don’t feel “right”, and I haven’t felt “right” in a very long time.
I feel an uncomfortable emptiness, and as if life is continuing on in an unpleasant repetition, and I’m growing tired of it.
I am sixteen years old, and I have obtained my GED. I am going to begin college early next year, and I feel like I’m not ready, at least, with tolerating my anxiety. I have terrible anxiety, and I have panic attacks if I’m within a supermarket or similar public setting for too long. I’ve been in the college before, being I had to apply for it, and I began sweating […]
Seems like i’m going to walk a little longer.
how long? no one knows, but after not having the balls to try and overdose myself it anti-depressants and pain killers for the third time i got caught by my Mother and she is not letting me out her sight and have locked every place with locks.
isnt it shameful, 20year old shut-in freak who cant even kill himself is now living a lie inside hes room and being watched all the time except when others sleep. the society doesnt even realise its destroying lives of hundreds and after that tells us its our fault and that it […]
“There’s no way you are depressed, you look so active and talkative.”
“You’ve got a whole life ahead, you have a good life so I can’t find a reason why would you be in so much pain.”
These are the words that have been told by my parents for countless times.
I’m 22 years old girl in the eastern region who’s studying in the medical field. On the outside, I used to be a happy-go-lucky, active and energetic person, but deeply I knew that I worry a lot and have a turbulent mind. I always get easily surprised and overwhelmed and my heart […]
New member here, please forgive me if this is too long of a read.
No faith in me because of my ASD label
I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts here and there for the last 10+ years. It begins from when I was a small child. You see, I was diagnosed with autism when I was about 6 years old mostly because of my speech delays and have had problems from the get go. The teachers often treated me like an idiot, and resulted in me reading at a kindergarten reading level until I was in 4th grade because my parapro only let me read some dragon […]
So I have heard of people writing in journals and doing art. Although I just made a private facebook page to submit all of my feelings about the subject in order not to say it publicly. I’m afraid my friends would stop talking to me if they knew how much on the verge I am.
What techniques do you use?
hello.
I won’t be mentioning much of myself, rather I’ll just mention what has been on my mind for the past few hours. I’m in a loop of wanting to end my life and waiting for myself to get better. My thoughts aren’t pleasant right now, though. I was recently diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, you can look up what that is), and everyday is me worrying about skewing up even more than where I’m at right now. I have no motivation to do my homework, and when I do, I fail it anyway because I put no efforts into my current major I’m stuck […]
I’m feeling suicidal. I’m close with my family so have put off acting on those feelings. But I have felt like this for years now. One day this overwhelming anxiety overcame me and my life has been at a standstill since then. I find it hard to leave the house sometimes, and haven’t had a job in years as when it comes to my first day at a new job, this crippling fear overtakes me and I’m too scared to enter the building. I have debt worries too. I’m really good at hiding it somehow since my family don’t have a clue about all this, […]