Feeling the choking effect of too much stress today!! Not good for my anxiety issues at all!!! Broox dad is suddenly wanting visitation rights with him after 2 years!! He’s hasn’t held him since the day he was born and suddenly he deserves every other weeked? My answer to that is fuck you!! Why should he be allowed to walk back into his life whenever he wants?? It wasn’t fair to Broox when he walked out on im and it’s fair to Broox to let him walk in and out like that all the time!! I’m terrified that his family will try and take take […]
Tag:
Anxiety
I’m really not seeing a reason to continue fighting my debilitating depression and anxiety. I have never had a reprieve in my 28 years, despite various medications, spiritual journeys, and self-help literature.
I have always held myself to a very high standard and have been relentless with trying to reach success from a very early age. I survived an abusive childhood with an alcoholic father. Â I thought that getting married, getting a Masters degree, and starting my career would bring me the happiness I so desperately want and the outside validation to prove that I am a good person.
I loved my husband with all of my […]
Did some chores earlier and I’m drained. Windex, Pine Sol, Soap and Pledge all help make cleaning possible. Also make the lungs burn with a mask on to boot. I’m feeling tired and a tad weak. The kind of tired that you’re unable to sleep. Add onto that some anxiety. This brain takes a lot to quiet it down and the solution is to overwork till I can no longer hold a lot of weight. Till my heart pounds like I’ve done a dash. Till my hips feel like water. Thankfully I didn’t do that kind of work. The kind that aggravates the hips. But […]
Feeling so down and sick, like a Ghost… Posting here rather than fake it on FB
by sowhat
written by sowhat
My anxiety won’t go away… the pain on my chest, the breathless feeling, so out of my mind. My friends keep writing msg on FB, I cannot open them, they txt me and I can’t txt them back. Nothing to say, I love them, I miss them, and I know they love me back… But I don’t know how to tell them that I won’t be allowed back in Canada for a long long time, I don’t know how to tell them that I spend all my day at home reading posts on THE SUICIDE PROJECT website, I don’t know how to tell them that […]
I know everyone has different reasons for arriving at this site, though we all share the same goal. My reasons are mental health related at their core, I guess, and the fallout from the symtoms…
Major Depressive Disorder, a chronic case of ADHD that I discovered myself 10 years ago in my mid 20’s, and anxiety which amplifies my reactions to people who are I guess just naturally reacting to my conditions… a vicious, never ending cycle that brings me here. Sadness, loneliness, pain & the anger that comes with being misunderstood & having no one to talk to.
Suicide is something I began flirting […]
i recently found this website. i felt like writing something, cuz lately it’s so damn hard. i’m close to my limit.
i am nearly 25 yrs old. i deal with depression and anxiety since i can remember. 4 like 22yrs, i lived along with it not worring about it too much, i didn’t really know what i had anyway. since then it got worst. i’ve never been very social at all. i’m a shy person and very clumsy, or should i say fumbling? i dont know the right word to describe it in english… though i’ve always fought my personality. more than 3 yrs ago my […]
My name’s Sabrina, im 16 now a sophomore . I was 12 when i first started thinking about suicide. I was going into 6th grade one of the hardest times in a kids life. I had never really had a child hood, my dad had been a crack addict my whole life. My mom was sent to a mental institution after i walked in on her cutting herself a couple times. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. During the summer is the worst i stay awake all night crying, burning, cutting. nothing ever helps me. im so scared. i always think […]
1:30 A.M.
Ghosts of my dreams of voices hit me randomly. I can’t explain what I hear, but it sounds like a voice, but like a broken record player rapidly replays what it said, anxiety fills me and then the continuous ringing fills my ears again.
I wonder when I’ll dream of it again.Â
7:10A.M.
Dreamt i was part of a program to test things for money. We started out on a metal bed where I laid down and it began descending. Quicker and quicker until I was free failing. While there i was freaking out until i realized it would lead to my death so […]
Written about a year ago, I think.
Yes, I suck quite profusely at social interaction. I am a prodigy at making a fool out of myself by saying or doing stupid things. Of course, only when it comes to personal conversations; I can work, I can manage departments, I can go shopping, I might even be able to go to the doctor’s office. Yet, if you ask me how my day went, that’s when the anxiety starts. I might answer, “Okay, I guess. How was yours?” and slowly, but surely, as the conversation progresses, I will get more and more anxious until I wind up fleeing […]
God I was feeling so good yesterday, and now it’s back to not being able to concentrate and having panic attacks non stop.
I’ll start at the beginning. A few months ago, my mum started getting really sick. At first she refused to admit it (she is a very proud person, and I guess I inherited it from her), but she eventually went to the doctor. Over the next couple of months, the doctor (and others he had brought in) couldn’t figure out if it was cancer or something less serious and therefore to this day haven’t diagnosed it. During this time, both my brother and I have […]
Alright so I don’t really know how to do this, but whatever.I’m just going to share my story. Last year I got into alcohol and drugs. I was drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, and huffing. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wasn’t me. Hanging out with the wrong people. One day at midnight, well, September 7th. It was officially the first day of school and I was dreading it. So, me and my friend took 8 triple c’s or cold cough pills. I knew nothing about it other than it would make me feel good. And I’ve always had problems with depression […]
I hate to say it but I’ve heard it from so many sources. Just be happy! Maybe there’s something horribly wrong with me but I can’t push myself to be happy. I should be though-from the outside my life kind of seems pretty fucking OK. Nowadays I feel guilty and anxious because I can’t bring myself to enjoy it. It’s there, right in front of me but forcing myself to be happy?
That only deepens my anxiety making it so much worse. I tried to ask for help, to make people understand me but they can’t. Now the plan switched to: I’ll off myself if I […]
As my anxiety grows, so does my appetite for death.
Please dont feel sorry for me. I hate that. I’m only 17, I seem young to have gone through as much as I have. My life has gone to ruins. Ive been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’m bipolar adhd horrible anxiety and under weight. I take lots of medicine. But I’m tired of the life I’m living. 14 years ago my mom hung herself in a bathroom. She was addicted to cocaine and 3 men that she was buying from raped her. The doctor who did the exam on her said she wouldnt try to kill herself bqut she did. She did cocaine […]
Hi my name Is Emily and I’m 15 years old. I was diagnosed with depression about 7 months ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. I was dealing with my sexuality, paranoia, anxiety, OCD, school,anger problems and cutting. This all led to my horrible depression. I was hospitalized around Christmas time because of a strangling attempt. I spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the hospital where I stayed for 18 days. Afterwards I started going to an outpatient day program for kids and teenagers with emotional problem called the CDU which stood for Children’s Day Unit. There i met many good friends especially one. Her […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
So yeah, it’s been quite a while since i last posted here, almost a year i think. Still alive.
Mum found out about my addiction ’cause i told her, she was helpful the first 2 days but then she just starting yelling at me and threatening me and shit, that’s what i fucking need when i try and quit pills and when i have so much anxiety i’m shaking, along with some depression. fucking great.
can’t find a job either, so that’s fun
EDIT: a couple or a few weeks ago i was almost kidnapped, then the next week i got beat up, this week i […]
Okay it’s me again and I’m feeling really stupid for bothering you with every wee thing, but I just really can’t cope atm. I have this problem: I tell the people that hurt me, my parents, those who’ve abused me all my life and who made me the wreck I am, everything about my feelings. I know that’s not smart, but usually soon after they’ve managed to bring me down enough so that I’m in a state of depression and anxiety, they’ ll want to ” talk” about it and they’ll even tell me they’re sorry, and especially in my Dad’s case that he ” […]
A couple of days ago I believed today would be the day to get this done, finally, once and for all, no more hand-wringing, no more excuses. I was prepared to deal with the dreaded pain I knew it would take to do the deed. But wouldn’t you know it, the time frame when my will was the strongest my plans were thwarted because I didn’t get to be alone like I needed to be to carry out my plan. Of late it is almost comical how bad my luck has been!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I know I just have to bide my time and wait for […]
I tried a new approach to deal with my depression; acknowledging it as a sickness of the mind and body but not anything to do with me personally. I take full responsibility for my past and every action I’ve taken up to this point in life, but the issues slowing me down aren’t my own.
All throughout my life, I’ve been shown the way I should be by the people around me. What I should be doing, the type of things I should study, the work I should go out for, partying and living it up etc etc; so I’ve been conditioned to hate myself […]