It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]
Tag:
Anxiety
today it’s different. i dont actively want to destroy myself, to hurl myself off of something high or slice open my arms and bleed out. i just kind of don’t want to be alive anymore. i want to dissapear. or maybe go to sleep and never wake up. i’m sick of hurting. it’s like no matter what I do I can’t relieve this pressure. it builds and builds, and i can let off some of the steam but never enough to make it get any better. i’m just barely able to keep my head above water. i’m like a duck, nobody knows how hard i’m […]
alright, it’s been a while since i’ve been on here, but, i exist still
nothing has really changed. my anxiety isn’t AS bad, i guess. I’ve been having more panic attacks though. a while ago, i talked about seeing things- and i still do. worst than before. it’s an all day thing. i always see things, i feel like someone is watching me 24/7 i feel uncomfortable all the time.
i have depersonalization disorder, but it isn’t really as bad as it was. now that i can actually deal with reality, i have come to terms that i absolutely hate my body and the way i look. […]
I dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if walls are caving in on me. People hate me. And you know what? I hate me too. People that are around me think I have the perfect life. Im a cheerleader. I make good grades. I make everyone happy. Nothing can be wrong with me! But there is something wrong with me. I feel as if everyone around me hates me. Im not mad at them for that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im just done.
I’ve never really seen the point of self harm, but a few days ago, I started biting my hand to take my mind off things. I could concentrate on the pain instead of worrying. It just occurred to me today that what I was doing was self harm. I never bite hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a red mark by the end of the day, and I can’t seem to stop. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to be a burden on my friend anymore. He helped me when I was recovering from […]
Mom,
You didn’t fail,
You tried your best,
You believed,
You raised me to think,
That life was worthwhile,
That people were good inside,
That i was Perfect the way i was,
But Mom,
You don’t see,
You don’t see my mind,
You don’t see the futility,
The hatred,
The fear,
The pain,
I show you the brighter side,
So you won’t worry,
Or see my intentions,
I love you.
Hello I am very new to this site but I really just needed somewhere to vent. I have been thinking about suicide since I was about 10 and I would always make myself not contemplate it to grate lengths by asking myself how I would feel if a family member or loved one killed themselves, but recently I honest to god don’t think I would care. I hate my friends and I often think about killing them myself… and for my family, I really just don’t care about them anymore. I’m so emotionally exhausted I will have days where I just can’t even get out […]
hello everyone
so i am only 14 years old, in the 9th grade
my anxiety, depression and depersonalization disorder is getting out of hand; mother took me out of public school so i can get home schooled.
the problem is, is that we haven’t gotten anything down. we can’t find any of the right websites to help, and we’re both a little lost. my mother and father found it like we HAD to get me out of public school because how it reacts on my anxiety, depression and D.D. which i do not regret, public school was hell but my mental health has not changed one bit.
i feel […]
So I went for my weekly visit to speak to my psychiatrist, and did he ever have the greatest advice ever….
“What’s the rush in dying, we all die anyways”
Thoughts? Anyone and everyone who has ever been told that or felt like this, please respond.
My mind is still trying to wrap itself from figuring out what I am supposed to do with that oh so helpful quote.
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
I have both antifreeze and OxyContin that I am able to use. Will the two together work? And if so will it be quick?  Any knowledge is greatly appreciated  Thanks.
I had a friend. Her cell phone stopped working. I couldn’t reach her any other way but through the computer. She lived too far away for me to see in person. She would disappear for months at a time after mentioning how she was feeling down and depressed. I couldn’t take the constant worrying about her. So, in one of those rare occasions when she was actually around, I snapped at her a bit. I let her know how much I worried and how much it hurt, trying to get in contact with her and then- Nothing. I guess she must have understood for a […]
On some days I wished I never starting self-harming, but on other days I wished I never stopped
Hello, I’m Kassie. I’m 15 years old, living in HELL. It all started on October 30th, 1998, also known as the day I arrived into this horrid place. I was born in a small town in Indiana. The two people who gave me 23 chromosomes each were an unmarried couple who never thought they’d bring a baby into the world became the parents of me. I was born as Kassie Inez (leaving my last name private.) My father wanted to name me Presley, after (not shockingly) Elvis Presley, who was his idol, his role model. Unfortunately, my mom being the one who’d carry and birth me, […]
I’m sorry, mom.
I’m sorry I fail to meet your expectations every day, I’m sorry I’m not doing well in school.
I’m sorry I’m not thin, or athletic, or pretty enough for you to be proud of me.
I’m sorry I am so torn up inside, I’m sorry I have chronic depression.
I’m sorry I don’t talk and walk like the girl you wish I were.
I’m sorry I have different opinions on what is worth my time.
I’m sorry I don’t do everything right the first time.
I’m sorry I can’t function correctly.
I’m sorry I am sad most of the time, I’m sorry I am a lot to handle.
I’m sorry I’m […]
I’m just completely lost. I don’t know if I should end it already. I’ve been put through so much bullshit that I’m completely fed up. I was molested by my dad’s friend which my dad doesn’t know about because I was young and scared that he’d do something to my family cause he claimed he will if I ever told. I still haven’t said anything and it’s been years. I’ve also be bullied by everyone. Even my own family. I’ve always been really into sports and I’m a girl so my parents, sisters, and brother would always call me a boy because of it. Also, […]
i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get […]
I cant stand the depressions i keep getting.im on all these fancy medications and ive had 6 major depressions in the last year.sometimes i loose hope and just want to hide but i cant and its painful just to breath.does anyone else feel this way?
ME OPS????fed up with refelctional frens(acts like ur therpist of sleeps ell except u to set u up with someobodi compley wrong for u)/karoolivigians(wutevre it is u like coming to suemthing …)… I JUST WISH I EXISTED IN SUMBD,IS HEART….
I have had 15 or so surgeries, and everything hurts. My thoughts of suicide come daily. The only thing stopping me is the fact that my live in gf had a spouse that passed away before we started dating, and I hate the thought of her going through another death. I also, though I am not “religious” , I don,t want to end up in hell. Been looking into writings about this subject, and the bible says if someone commits suicide due to being in pain they can,t take any more, they will not be punished.
I am scheduled for another surgery in a few weeks, […]