I’ve been a member of this site for 2 days. When i posted my story of getting better, i thought it was a basic read kinda site. I didn’t know this was an ongoing support system. I’m so glad it is, i feel like i’ve stumbled upon a place where i’m not so alone. I’m 17, soon to be 18. I want to be a psychologist, so i can help others in pain. When i see posts on here of those feeling hopeless, all i wanna do is help, find a way to save their life. I still get suicidal thoughts myself. I’ve struggled […]
Tag:
Attempts
I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for at least the past 6 years (i’m only 20 but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel how I feel now)
Basically I had a traumatic childhood and early adult life and i’ve tried counselling/prescription drugs and nothing has worked.
I have many failed attempts behind me my last one was a paracetamol overdose, I walked to a remote place to let the paracetamol take over and cause irreversible liver damage but turns out my remote location wasn’t remote enough and I was found by a ‘good Samaritan’ and taken to hospital :@
I have tried to stop […]
I’ve completely ruined my life. Â But I don’t think I ever had one.
Things started spiriling out of control earlier this summer when I quit my job. I’ve been doing contract software development at home for years. It’s a life of sad isolation. I sit in my den and type away for days straight. The job was just going bad, I was losing interest and my boss new it. He pushed me and I snapped. It was sad, because when it started it seemed like there would be so much potential.
Anyway, something happened afterwards that made me realize I didn’t want to be a programmer anymore. […]
reading a lot of posts on here lately (i’m around, even if i don’t comment, i don’t like trying to offer advice when i don’t have any), seems like some of this site has degenerated into the petty bullshit that communities always do. just goes to show that even the most superficial of relationships break down in destructive ways. there’s no point in trying to connect with anyone, really.
anyway i noticed that most people say that this is a community of people who are at their end… people who have made multiple attempts, people who have been with depression for a long time. now i […]
Ok–I’ve been on this earth for 45 years. Im in decent shape & until I lost my job made a decent living. For the past 30 years I have been building up my courage to commit suicide. At various points in my life I have tried suicide. Cutting, sleeping pills and have thought of running my car into a truck (but why ruin some strangers life) so I have not done that. Many people have told me that life gets better. By living I have proven that hypothisis wrong. My point of this post is to state that were I sucessful in my first attemp when I was […]
For the last 5 years i have been feeling like my life lead me to the middle of nowhere. I become more invisible day by day and others care less and less about my presence. You might say its because i don’t communicate or interact with world, but no, it would not be true. It is just because i just don’t fit in, and my attempts are noticed just for a short time and i always end up alone and disappointed. No matter how funny or talkative i am for one moment in the next one i am just gone. It seems others make friends […]
I’m so tired. . . Tired of crying, fighting, trying to find some will to live inside this black hole of mine. I simply cannot take anymore. I’m trapped inside a world of hate and I am their object of disgust. The only future left is just day after day of pain to be added to my past.
I have attempted nine times unsuccessfully. 5 od’s. Hanging. 2slit wrist attempts. And downing mr.clean. I have scars covering my arms, shoulder to wrists and my thighs and calves. *sigh* but even cutting, the only friend Ive had, has left me now. But this helium thing and carbon […]
Hi,
I’m new here. I guess I came across this site trying to find the best way to end everything. I’ve spent the last two days just reading everyone’s stories and it makes me feel guilty for even feeling this way. Some of the stories I’ve read are so sad and I feel like in comparison, what do I have to be depressed about. From the outside looking in, it probably seems like my life is great. I’m that girl that is always smiling, always trying to make things better and always laughing. People don’t seem to understand that you can fake it all, I go home […]
Ive had 3 unsucsesful attempts (obviosly) but soon shall i pass away some way, my 3 attemps were all in the past 45 days so i know im serious about dieN, hopefully in tge next week il be dead.
So ive decided to try again, i came close to blacking out last time, hopefully i will blackout fully so i wont stop my departure.
im ready to. but I CANT. idk i must be this fucking stupid, i cant even kill myself, i fail..ive failed 15 times! though bout 11 were lousy attempts only to feel some pain in the end. im done, life is not fair. well damn that is right. school starts tuesday…im ok with that..i want my phone though…i either get it next week or in november for my birthday…(so my sister says) i partially believe her cuz dad said i get it back..i need my phone to fix my relationship…damn that sounds pathetic. ugh i feel ignored…alone. but im not. i have an amazing bf […]
Are you ok
Or did you slip away
Will I find out
Or will it be too late
Is there anything I can do
For someone I just met
Or are the attempts futile
And should I just forget
Two years I’ve gone without
The cool barrel against my skin
Now I can feel it
The old familiar itch begins
I don’t often pray
But I’ll be torn if you slip away
So out to whatever power
I pray you are ok
I’ve never understood why the people around me see me being suicidal as an assault on them. Sometimes I feel like the attempts that people have made to save me are just vanity driven allowing them to remain void of guilt largely because when people realise they can’t save me they get fed up and leave. It’s clear they don’t care. But worse than all of this is the way everyone from ‘friends’, family, and sometimes even mental health professionals use emotional blackmail against you. I’ve been called selfish because I have a 5 year old daughter (she has been taken from me). My alleged […]
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
I realise now that I have a problem. Actually scrap that, I always knew. The difference is that I am now ready to admit that I have a problem. So much has happened in my life and being the stubborn person I am, I pushed it all inside and pretended it didn’t matter. Now it has all come at me at once. Flashes of trauma, whether they be emotional, physical and even the few sexual from my past have come back and I can no longer live normally. I don’t sleep (without medication or alcohol), I barely eat, I’m always so sad, angry or anxious. […]
Dead inside for a long time. Years. I want to go, but I can’t yet. Things get worse the longer I wait.
I only just discovered this site today and I’m comforted to see that many people think like I do about this subject. I guess I feel validated in a way…even “normal” in my thought processes about it all. Thank you for that!
I have two previous “attempts.” People said it was (I HATE this phrase) “a cry for help.” Actually I was too stupid to know that the drugs I used wouldn’t kill me and only land me in the hospital, […]
“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief. Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”
I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]
I am over 50 years old. I’ve thought about suicide since I was 13. I have made attempts to end my life more than a couple times. The thoughts, planning, and so on have been so much a part of my mentality, I believe it has become a bad habit, habitual though process. The last stint of actively engaging in therapy my goal was to get new thoughts. I’ve tried. Truly I have tried to get along in the land of the living. When I make an attempt to interact / communicate with my loved ones, I continue to fall short – and immediately go […]
I’m one of those people that like to pay attention to detail, so natrually I found everything wrong about myself. I’d lie awake at night thinking about all the things I might have done wrong that day and saying to myself “God, you’re an idoit” Whenever someone complimented me, I always thought “they’re just saying that to spare my feelings, they don’t really like me” And i’ll admit, I’m pretty fucked up in the head.
Self harming, or cutting. What a concept man, I love it. Nothing feels better then thinking you can just cut away all these imperfections. And thats what I did. And it […]