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Avail

Bitching and Moaning

by PortableHead 8/27/2013

written by PortableHead

Hello! I’ve decided to use this site to blow off steam, to get some weight off of my chest so to speak. Everything I post I am positive you have heard it all before so feel free to skim over it and move on. I just need somewhere to ***** and moan as the title suggests.

The cancerous bastard that is depression didn’t fully hit me until the day of my 19th birthday (I’m 21 now), though I know that I felt pangs of it before that. You could contribute it to teenage hormones and what not but in High School I was not the happiest […]

8/27/2013 2 comments

Falling

by Nick.Halden 5/18/2013

written by Nick.Halden

Three years ago, when life started to go downhill, I made one promise to myself. No matter how far and fast I fell I wouldn’t bring anyone down with. Three years later and I’m at a complete loss. I’ve thought about killing myself many many times but in the end I could never do it. I wouldn’t only be killing myself, I would also be killing my parents. Everyday, as I walk home, I walk down the middle of the street. Whenever a car comes I repeat to myself “hit me, hit me, hit me” to no avail. They always swerve. I don’t know what […]

5/18/2013 1 comment

Not long

by SoSoTired 4/19/2013

written by SoSoTired

It’s now only a matter of time, I’ve been contemplating the end for many years and at my 27th will be the time to go, it’s never been clearer. Working out sufficient ways is a daily schedule, every bridge I cross is considered, every pill I swallow is worked out to which quantity will be lethal, what side effects may beÂ incurredÂ along the way. I am at least content in the knowledge that I want to sleep my way out.

I don’t need to write the way I feel, thousands of times makes no difference, and I don’t need to go over them any longer. I simply […]

4/19/2013 6 comments

pathetic but true

by Kitty30 2/19/2013

written by Kitty30

I want this to stop….I’ve trawl thru sites trying to find the way out to no avail, I am a wimp, scared of pain, 34 and have attempted overdose with sleeping tablets, anti-d’s and recreational drugs, I drink yes but not to excess for I hate the hangover! pathetic but I try to be happy and just get on, it gets harder every night to stay sane….daytime is good I have my distractions, but at night when its quiet that when the brain starts telling me to get out, just do it it, once its done that is it, nothing, all gone, I want help, […]

2/19/2013 4 comments

very unhappy

by rosegood 1/19/2013

written by rosegood

I have been struggling almost all my life since my dad passed away since 1999. I never really had much opportunity to make something of myself. I am now in school for nursing but also I am jobless. I am constantly looking for a job but to no avail. I really have been praying for God to show me mercy by allowing me to play and win the lottery. If care is not taken I am about to be homeless. I sometimes think of committing suicide but really I am scared to attempt it. I really need financial […]

1/19/2013 1 comment

Is there anyone out there that gives a damn?

by Lonewolf421 12/29/2012

written by Lonewolf421

Well I’m 21 years old and seriously considering taking my life. I have no friends, have never had a relationship or even a chance to prove my worth to a girl. I stand alone day and night living this hell I call my life. I’m so depressed, frustrated and the feeling of hopelessness that washes over me is the worst. I feel as if this is it for me, this is going to be my life until they put me in the ground. The older I grow the more the loneliness and fear of being alone grows and it’s becoming a harsh realization that I […]

12/29/2012 7 comments

just my experience

by kendrafornow 12/8/2012

written by kendrafornow

Well this is just going to be my experience that I had a few months ago.

One day, after having the pills set aside for such an occasion for many a months, I came home in a really crappy mood. Being the thinker I am, I went over in my head all the pros and cons for why I should kill myself. Long story short, the pros won over, and I decided I wanted to do it.

I shoved all 22 of the sleeping pills into my mouth and swallowed them as fast as I could so future me wouldn’t have time to change their mind. After […]

12/8/2012 1 comment

Sick and tired of it all…

by ConDsenXieN 11/30/2012

written by ConDsenXieN

So sick and tired of life. It’s a miserable existence day after day, seven attempts this year and no avail, looking for number eight.

Lost my job, my baby, my marriage, my home….I’m an alcoholic, unemployed, lonely, just don’t want to go on any further.

Don’t want to live with my diagnosis either, I’ll never have a normal life, normal relationship, no nothing. I’ve lost my chance at love, there’s no chance for happiness, my life is an absolute joke.

I’ve got my plan in place and a time…don’t bother with the whole “life is precious” or “God wants you to live”, because if there really is […]

11/30/2012 3 comments

I want to slip away

by nowornever13 11/4/2012

written by nowornever13

I am divorced. I am a mother of six. My fiance committed suicide in July. I have had numerous surgeries this year that have left me unable to work yet. I am in yet another one of my major depressive episodes that has exhausted me. I have tried having my medications readjusted and mixed around to no avail. I am just so sick of having to battle depression! I have been in an uphill battle with this terrible illness for over 25 years! I have had enough. I am tired. I cannot endure more of […]

11/4/2012 5 comments

This is my story, i guess

by Egokiller 10/7/2012

written by Egokiller

Well, I guess my story starts from the day that I was born. My mother, so Iâ€™ve been told, started drinking around the age of twelve. She was from an extremely abusive household and I figure she needed something to get her mind off of it. I donâ€™t hold it against her. Anyway, she had about seven kids with a different man every time all over the United States and dropped us with the fathers. She committed suicide when I was about ten, not that it mattered. I never met the women and I donâ€™t really care to.
My father also had a very, very, […]

10/7/2012 2 comments

Single and Lovesick

by gamerwiz13 8/3/2012

written by gamerwiz13

Hey everyone, I am having problems with love right now. Â I was trying to find a girlfriend but I mostly see girls that are kissing guys or gay girls. Â As a result I just feel left out because I am single. Â After a while of being single, I became lovesick. Â I lay on my bed not socializing anyone, just thinking about myself just trying to find a girl but to no avail. Â Worst case scenario, I feel like committing suicide. Â I just can’t handle being lonely and dateless. Whenever I look at teen pictures that show a girl and a boy kissing each other or […]

8/3/2012 8 comments

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a “Life – Switch Off” button…

by nanashi gm 6/6/2012

written by nanashi gm

I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future

but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life

I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..

as much as i wished for a “switch […]

6/6/2012 11 comments

They Say Hurt People Hurt People

by syrinj 5/17/2012

written by syrinj

It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.

I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]

5/17/2012 1 comment

An Alien in Their Human World

by U.N. Owen 5/14/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Born missing something in your brain.Â That piece that makes many crave attention and affection.Â When these things are offered you cringe in confusion.Â Knowing that others readily accept them but they seem rather uncomfortable.Â And you force yourself to act like you enjoy them because it makes others smile.Â One thing does touch you.Â The ones who are outsiders-ostracized-cast out-victims-pariahs.Â Their plight awakens an inner affinity.

Then there is the violation.Â Inall your collected dataÂ this only happens between adults.Â Between husband and wife.Â Between girlfriend and boyfriend.Â Not between adult and child.Â Not between two males.Â Deep down you know that this is monumentally worse […]

5/14/2012 0 comment

shit

by ikklestien 3/30/2012

written by ikklestien

Is it sad that at 23 I have tired to kill myself twice…butÂ to no avail.

3/30/2012 3 comments

Last Exit

by unclemeatrc 1/7/2012

written by unclemeatrc

A week from today, I will end my life.Â I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand.Â Now it is time.Â While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way.Â I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction.Â I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.

A month ago, […]

1/7/2012 25 comments