Admins have kindly allowed me back as long as I don’t ‘threaten, harass or stalk’ another member.
Words fail me but whatevs guys.
Right now I’m about to do one of the things that’s going to affect me for the rest of the day and on into next week. Yard work. Sounds dumb, right?
I’m going to go out there for a couple hours to pick up the leaves and the entire time there’s going to be a nagging feeling that the neighbors are watching me out their windows and telling their spouses something like “look at wtf he’s doing. He doesn’t know wtf he’s doing, he’s doing it wrong. How the fuck could he not know how do it it? I mean it’s about time anyways because I’m […]
Sigh… I never thought I’d be back on this site… after I finally built up the courage to actually speak to my mother and tell her about my suicide thoughts and depression.. but my mother being the religious woman she is (ironic) prayed and since I cut myself off from religion.. I just sat in since while she did and took the advice I got from amazing people on this site..
I went out, I did new things, made new friends… it got better after a while.. until a few days ahgo.
A brief description of me:
I’m a social person, I use humor as a […]
The Muk, back and forth
Approaches from the dark
It approaches coming at you
Why doesn’t it stop
Side to side
Who or what, does it try to find
Butterfree, Caterpie
Nidoran, Nidoran
Waiting for the day that I can be alone
But then, I need somebody to help me breathe
The labyrinth, the spiral
Maybe one day, my electric one
Will I fly but I need to now
Bicycle, bicycle, auto-vehicle
People say there are a lot of methods to calming or getting ones self to relax.
For me one of the biggest ones is music , I just love it I’m a fan of many different genres from oldies to rap to heavy metal to country. It always made me smile after a bad or extremely stressful day. It saved me many times emotionally or days when I just felt like breaking down on the inside. Just pop on my favorite white headphones lay back and just relax.
Another one of my habits which i true hate to admit it cause i’m aware of how much harm […]
Only one love for me. I’m devastated he’s gone…lost without him. Would do anything to get him back…anything.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on the Suicide Project, but I guess… It’s good to be back?
At any rate, this websites added a new feature of displaying actual user pictures–ones that’re more revealing than just some random colorful pattern–and I was hoping to figure out some way of either changing my profile picture or deleting it entirely. This is because I’d like to post here without having my privacy compromised.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
My boyfriend fell out with me for no reason so i did the typical girlfriend thing and tried to be cute and annoying to get him to talk to me. It ended in him constantly pushing and kicking me.. so i pushed him back with my foot and then he full scale punched me in the back.. it’s only been 2 months.. what have i done?
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.
I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..
I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame […]
I have student loans. A personal loan. Attorneys fees for a divorce I’m going through. I have NO JOB. No income. I’ve applied to every job available here including fast food jobs and nobody will hire me. I’ve suffered from depression and bipolar disorder. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m lost. I have no hope. I can’t even see myself making it to next month because I can’t afford to pay anything. I don’t want to die, but I feel like it’s my only option. I’m just so sad and depressed and scared about my finances. I wish I could just go […]
I feel nothing anymore. I just want my old life back i want to kill myself now and I want everyone to know that I hate my life I want her to know that I’m fucking done with her bullshit I want her to know I’m a fucking idiot I hate the fact that she makes me look bad that she kisses another guy and thinks it’s ok that fact that you doesn’t really love me the fact that I’m nothing to her that she likes guys looking at her that she doesn’t tell me shit I fucking hate my life why can’t I fucking […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…
Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]
The urge and pain is back. My only way out would be to hang myself (good thing there’s trees around), but im broke right now and I can’t buy the rope. I used to have some, but my parents found it while snooping through my room and they threw it away. I honestly feel like these are my last days on Earth
I guess my problem has always been loneliness… been at school all day, then i did some sports and… still. I literally have like 2 hours of alone time and i cannot stand it. I feel like im losing my friends. My ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, told me her friend told her to break up with me. As much as I still like her, I cant do that. I was clean from porn for three months and now… one day. Shit is falling apart.
Goodbye, From AnonKun (I have replaced my real name with AnonKun whenever it appears)
I am very aware that many readers of this note may be surprised upon discovering it that I committed suicide. Please know that this was not a spur of the moment decision. This is not a decision I made lightly, or one that was imposed on me by people, society, or circumstance. This is a painful decision I made after years of on and off suffering with no logical conclusion or end in sight.
To address what is likely the most immediate question, I will explain why I chose to take […]
After spending 4 weeks on a Psychiatric unit/ward I don’t feel much better then I did before I went in, feel a wee bit better but not much.
I really don’t know what I’m going to do with myself I still want to die but at the same time I want to get better, As anyone fellt these emotions at the same time before? I feel that it’s too late for me I car’t see my life with out depression and psychosis.
I see all the people that are fighting for their lives with cancer or other terminal illnesses, And who wants to live. Then they […]
I woke up last night at exactly 0249hrs — the exact moment that the figure of beauty you see in front of you decided to call me after six months of no contact. I’m not going into specifics because right now I’m fucking tired and…for the first time since she died, I’ve decided to read what the news sites etc had to say about the events surrounding her death.
My point stands — it was no accident, and she knew what she’d gotten herself in to.
She wasn’t an idiot, but we can all be stupid at […]
School is like literally stressing me out and making me feel alone and depressed. I’m not gonna graduate High School, im about a semester behind, my counselor said it already, maybe there is hope for me to graduate, she said, maybe. I’m wasn’t born in the U.S. and I got all the permits from the Dream Act and if I don’t graduate, then they’ll strip them away and throw me back to the country I was born in, although, I was born in Mexico, The U.S. is my home, I was raised here, I came here when I was 4, im 16 now (17 in […]