“Endurance” what does endurance mean? Hi everyone! I’m new to this site, but I’m sure we are all here for the same reason. We have suicidal thoughts or have actually attempted to take our life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. At age 11 I was diagnosed with depression. I was never abused nor was I bullied in school, but I was always lonley when it came to socialize with others, I never thought that being alone was a bad thing. I actually liked being alone, but I came to realize that I had no friends. I have a family who cares A […]
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Howdy, ya’ll.
I’ve been reading on the site and commenting every now and again, but I’ve never posted. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a while. They stem from a complete lack of meaning in my life. To be honest, things have been going relatively well, I just find no joy in much of anything anymore.
I attempted suicide earlier this year, but was brought to the hospital before anything too serious happened. What shook me the most was that I had no realization, no epiphany, like one often reads of. Instead, I’ve fallen further. What drove me to the edge were the psych meds I was […]
I want you guys to know its ok to want to kill yourself and that its also ok if you want to not ‘give up’ (more like give in). I know there are many various spiritual beliefs so i won’t get into that but i want you to know that the only person who can judge you is you. The opinions of your family, friends, the state or ‘God’ don’t matter. You are what matters. If you feel like it is your time to leave Earth then leave, cleanly, without regret. For those worrying about hurting their loved ones. Imagine if you moved to some […]
So I managed to stay the whole day at school today, which made it a promising day. What was bad was what came after it.
I don’t know if it’s just me causing all of these problems in my relationship or if it’s naturally strenuous because of how me and my boyfriend are. Regardless, I got pretty upset today. To cut a very long, ongoin story/conversation short; I don’t believe he is making enough effort in our relationship. We never do anything, and all I’ve asked him is that one night when the majority of people aren’t there if we just take a walk down to […]
Its like 2:30, i’m still awake for no real reason other than debating whether I should go to work in the morning or just not go and die at a relatively soon timing. I’ve had serious thoughts about not existing since late elementary to early middle school and its just developed into a sad hobby of sorts. I’ve spent at least half an hour to an hour daily recently looking up different ways to kill myself and I think the only reason I haven’t done it yet is that my biggest fear is failing and being unable to make another attempt for whatever reason. My […]
I’m afraid of my exam. 2 months more. I feel I wanna suicide. I may get bad grades. I’m little weak. If I fail my 1st time advanced exam is that the end of my future success. Please help. I can’t make my parents sad either with my bad grades. I’m suicidal. Your comments are highly appreciated.
Hello,
So today was a pretty bad day for me. I got sent home from school because I couldn’t stop crying. Well, I told them the reason was because of a bad headache, but in reality I just couldn’t find the strength to get through the day. The thought of walking around and talking to people who I know don’t like me, the thought of simply being somewhere I don’t belong scared me. So I cried. I continued to do so until I got home where I finally slept. But my dreams were simply filled with horrific scenarios which I dare not repeat for thought of […]
Right now I’m lying here in bed, like every weekend, overthinking, like trapped inside my own mind. I wonder what may be wrong, I can’t find any answer. Since I was a little child, I knew there was something different in me, too shy, too nervous, too sensitive, too depressed.
I grew in a humble home, my parents never went to a school, dad was an alcoholic and agressive person, often came drunk and angry at the nights. Sober or drunk, whatever, he always seemed disappointed about me, and that was confusing to me, because I always did my best in everything. Mom was a victim […]
I thought by coming across a site like this would enable me to actually be able to rant about something, anything, so that my mind would be clear for a moment. But sitting here, typing this out, I’m struggling with how to put into words something which might catch someone’s attention who may be going through something similar. Someone I can relate to. The majority of people on here I suppose will all have similar background stories or specific tragedies which crossover with someone else’s, and so a relationship forms as these crossover people discover each other and help. My issue is; despite knowing the […]
3Hey I just have to get some things off of my chest… sometimes I just can’t go to sleep not telling anybody how I feel… I know it sounds pathetic but I love my mother altough I stopped calling her that. She is the person who hates me as much as I hate myself. Sometimes I think she is the reason why I feel so bad all the time. When I was younger she was quiet abusive. She also took drugs like I do but she was able to quit or she just doesn’t want to tell me anymore. I hate her but at the […]
From how my friends and family treat my sisters is a lot different from how I’m treated. I alway tell my parents I see how excited and more outgoing my friends are around them, and when they approach me they seem bored and more reluctant to talk to someone else.
My parents seem to think I’m just imagining things. They tell me I’m just taking their actions differently, and that they still love me. But I can’t see it. Every time I invite a friend over they smile and greet me, and before long they ditch me for them.
I’m not angry, nor do I blame my […]
Mine is terrible I have this amazing guy who is my bestfriend from preschool. I had to protect him because he had sex once intoxicated so my ex wouldn’t throw him to jail. Cause all he wanted is to be a dick to me because he has nothing better to do in his life. But the best thing about my bestfriend is that he is trying to help me lose weight cause I didn’t like it and he is also very caring about my cutting, I’ve cut my legs so bad that I have a infection in one of the deepest cuts and I have […]
My whole life I’ve felt so empty and worthless, it’s like I don’t belong here, I used to be the kind of person who just put on a mask and tried to live life thinking, “Well if I can’t know happiness I’ll just try and make others happy instead.” Bad idea. People will take advantage of you every single time whether you see it or not, no one cares, and the ones who do are only pretending so they can get something out of you in the end. I hate living, hate it. every time I look at my own reflection I get […]
I like to think i do more good than harm.
When you feel like your trying so hard to hold it together, sometimes you just give up.
I haven’t self harmed in a long while.
Maybe I turned that aggression outwards instead.
We all have bad days. They get better.
not much better.
but better every day.
I lost everything that gave me connection, meaning, comfort and joy. That all happened in a short time frame a year and a half ago. One rug after another after another after another was pulled out from under my feet. There were so many bad turns and they were so astonishing, I can’t count them all. Life is gray. I haven’t had a second of joy for almost two years. People say, Wait it out, who knows what tomorrow will bring? I’m not getting better; it has been a nose dive for all that time. I got into therapy, and it took over a year […]
Is it bad that I know where the key is at for my dads guns? Is it bad I got a refil on my medicine and I’m willing to shallow it all? Is it bad that this might be my last night alive?
I said I’m sorry to my ex and now that I’m free I don’t feel bad for him or anything like that. and I can finally agree to date my friend since preschool.
I’m 22 years old and I feel utterly hopeless, at least compared to a few months ago. I live with my parents, work a low end retail job and have very few friends/social interaction. I’m going back to college, but even then I feel like it will be an utter waste of time in my life.
I’m introverted, so naturally I like to be alone. However there’s times where I get bored and lonely. Most of my friends either do activities I don’t like (clubbing, drinking) or don’t […]
i had a dream last night
i dreamt that i had died in my sleep and my spirit was standing by my dead body.
my mom came in to wake me up for school. she kept shaking and shaking me to get up.
i tried to tell her i died but she couldnt hear me.
when she realised i had passed she started to cry and my brother came in and cried too cause my mom told him what happened.
and i felt bad for leaving them so i stayed with them forever until they died.
but i couldnt go with them because i missed my chance so i was stuck […]
I’ve never been on here before but I wanted to know if anyone knows the least painful way to end your life I dont want my family to find me in a bad way