My entire life I waited for something some blessing some good luck never got it. I was the girl who went to prom alone you know the nerd girl no one wanted. I have dated but all ended badly. I have a set of twins by a man who raped me. I was forced to keep them looking back I regret that as well. The father does nothing so here it is I am alone raising kids I never wanted. My other relationship ended just as bad the twins father said the man I was about to marry raped the children. So I have been […]
Tag:
bad
everyday is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same
by death bunny
written by death bunny
i’m stuck between the floor and the ceiling in my room, surrounded by the ghosts of my past. some say mean things, some are crying and some don’t speak at all. but i can see them. one is standing by the door, blocking my way out. he never speaks. one is lying on the floor dead drunk. one is standing behind me. he split his head so he could whisper to both of my ears.
one is crying in the corner. one is screaming. one is sleeping. one is tearing up my paintings. one is burning up my poems.
none intend to stop.
i go to […]
I’m trying so hard to reclaim my mind from self harm. It’s been five days since I last cut. The first two were okay. The third hard after these kids at school were….. Well they were them. The fourth worse. I was at my best friends birthday party when one of our friends invited a guy. (It was supposed to be just eight of us girls) I was okay at first, then he got out of his car. I got a bad feeling. Immediately after he got out of his car. I was scared. I hid. With my friends I stayed the farthest away from […]
I feel bad and gross and annoyed and sad. I’m never good enough for other people. I’m always everyone’s second choice. I could never be anyone’s favorite person. Why would I be though? I’m horrible at socializing. Id rather be alone than with other people. When I’m alone I’m just myself. I’m not worried of being judged. Saying the wrong things. Not being talkative enough. Not being energetic enough. I feel tired as hell 75% of the day. When I’m with other people I feel lonelier than when I’m with myself. That makes no sense. But why don’t people like me? Do I not look […]
I’ve suffered from depression since I can remember.
I attempted suicide when I was thirteen. According to my mother, it was a phase.
I’ve been flirting with anorexia for years. That, she said, was a phase too.
But my mother was often naive about a lot of things.
Like her husband for example. He’s cheated, he’s lied, he hit her and sexually abused her.
My mom was ill. Most of what I remember of her was her being admitted in to hospitals. She was blind. I thought most of her ailments were due to the fact that she had diabetes since she was 11 years […]
i thought I was doing well. I thought I had been able to overcome some aspects of depression and hit art a new, better life. But one bad day brought me back to the point I was at over a year ago. One. Bad. Day.
You ever feel so empty that you begin to suck yourself into this abyss? You wish you could blame them and sometimes you do; but there’s always that tiny little voice that reminds you that it’s actually your fault, that you did this to yourself. And you know that voice is a LIE; you scream it to yourself everyday that that voice is trying to push you past the point of no return, but the voice sounds so right that eventually you think of the nearby overpass and wonder if it would hurt if you fell. And the most stupid thing about all this is […]
Feels like eons since I’ve been on this site, but in “reality” it has only been a few weeks. I moved 4 hours away from my previous home, got a job at walmart making a pittance to run around like a headless chicken. Stressing to the max about money. And still wanting to kill myself.
I found a super awesome guy who’s letting me rent his room and is understanding about me not having the rent money until I get paid in 2-4 weeks. And he has a really cool 15 year old daughter who stays with him part time. I love teenagers. They’re so much […]
lol i just realized how bad i’ve fucked shit up. And how much of an over sensitive prick i am especially with my friends. And that i get sad over the dumbest things that i shouldn’t even be sad about. And that i’m confused about a lot of things.
and i hate that i feel so damn hopeless and i hate my family and i hate the fact that my mum makes me so sad and i hate that i can’t talk to anyone or i don’t have anyone. And i realized how alone i actually am.
And i also hate the fact that i sound […]
Things are still pretty bad inside my body. My head and heart hurt really bad, but not as bad. I want to go on Facebook and say I want to die, not because I’m planning suicide but because this feels really serious to me. But I don’t need a 72 hour hold and I think all the “buck up camper” replies I’ll get would make me throw up.
I’m frightened that I’m never going to be able to function at a job. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I can’t keep giving my all over and over again only to […]
Today as usual I woke up with anxiety barely letting me breathe, wanting to cry and going crazy in my head! I’ve been thinking for days now about overdosing but I’m such a stupid coward and I’m so scared of what comes after… I like to think in my head that once I kill myself I’ll go and be happy with my three babies, I’m 20 and yes, I’ve had 3 miscarriages, and I feel like that’s the biggest reason why I feel so depressed all the time, I miss them! I didn’t ever get to feed them, or hear them cry, they never got […]
Howdy ,
I’m Gollum , male , 45 years old . Digital artist , broke , over-sensitive , tired , struggling with (“not-so-heavy-anymore”) depression since 2006 , when a very unexpected , painful & unhealthy divorce (after a decade and 1/2 of a very happy life) , put me in the deepest depths (ooo the pleonasm^^) of the well . I don’t have children btw .
Why Gollum as username ? (I could also have chosen Darth Vador , or Mr Hyde)
As an artist , I’ve always been into literature , imagery , music … Basically , I’m just fascinated by the evolution of these fictional characters […]
Reality is boring & LIMITED !!
Real life is boring & LIMITED !!
Real world is boring & LIMITED !!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, […]
So I am not currently trying to kill myself, well as of now that is not the plan. I’ve been starving myself for about a week and a half so that I can feel how bad it hurts, if things work out perfectly I’ll be near death and in excruciating pain before I eat anything. Things are actually going good , I was 105lbs when I started and today I am at 97lbs when I stand I get dizzy and my stomach is constantly growling but I actually have completely lost my appetite the smell of food makes me nauseas and I’m so fatigued that […]
fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
by niki
written by niki
fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING […]
Hi, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say but my name is Jacob, and in my opinion I’m too young too know what I do. I learnt that I wasn’t ready for the real world when I was thirteen, I’ve done some big things that I both regret and don’t regret but first let me tell you why I don’t like males.
when I was young, about ten or twelve (I can’t remember exactly), I was raped by a sixteen year old, he was my girlfriend at the times brother. I had a faze around then where I turned gay because I didn’t know about […]
I’m young,a teenager,a time where emotions are strong and difficult to handle.I know that.i know that I’m growing up and these raw emotions will dull down later,but I wish they would go away now. I’ve never been good at math,never a strong point for me.I recently got a new math teacher (because of me going into eighth grade) and he’s really hard to understand.He keeps saying all theses things he’s teaching us are ‘easy’ and ‘basic’ and I just feel so stupid for not understanding it.When I told my parents they didn’t seem to care to much.I know they love me but sometimes they make […]
All I wanted more than anything this weekend was to come home from college, drive the five hours to see my friends and family for my birthday weekend. I now realize it was a bad idea, I was so hypermanic yesterday when I came home, literally haven’t been that happy or excited for anything in ages. I have to leave tomorrow morning and I’m so terribly homesick even though I’m still here. It was like nothing changed, I had a bad nightmare that I was at college and I woke up and everything was okay. I don’t know what to do, I hate it there […]
I’m not sure where to express what I’m feeling. I don’t want to drag down my friends. I don’t want to announce it on Facebook.
I’m totally heartbroken. I miss my ex so much. He turned out to be not very nice in the end. I feel like I’ve lost part of myself. I can’t believe he could be so callous, so cold – to leave me when I was suicidal, two days after fleeing home because I couldn’t cope. He left me homeless and took advantage of me sexually. Like, what? How? This person told me he loved me more than anyone in the world […]
I’ve always been aware of the things around me but yet i’m so scaredof everything. i’m a senior and i’ve been depressed for a long time now. Everyone i had turned their back on me because they didn’t like who i was. worse,when it ever came to confrontations iwas and still afraid of standing up for myself and i hate the fact that i’m weak and worthless. I often hide how i feel and disguise it, noone cares about me. Last year i tried comitting suicide a couple of times but failed because i don’t want to die without atleast trying to be happy. i […]