been a while since his last post hope his life got better
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better
I’m not afraid to die. Actually I prefered if someone would kill me now. Remove the burden I place on everyone’s hearts. I cut and I feel better. Everyone says I’m sick but am I really? I’ve found release. Please let me die already
Hi.. I am MrSilent. There is not much to know of me so I won’t bother with the details. I will give a very broad background of why I have chosen this name..
For years and counting, I have been silent. Silent of my emotion, silent of my thoughts and silent of my life and it’s duration. Recently, I’ve stumbled upon this community. I thought it would be quite interesting to be able to speak through text.. I have much to say but I will save most for later if I am still living. There is not a doubt that I am slowly collapsing, so, […]
I pretty much wrapped up my Bioethics Agenda for my book, now I’m working on my economic platform. I called it PETHUnomics
P = Practical
E = Efficiant
T = Transformative
H = Humanitarian
U = Utilitarian
i believe in a massive overhaul of the educational and corrections system. I also believe in better social safety nets for the poor. Unfortunately, my plan will cost a lot of money. To offset this, I think we are gonna have to make some painful cuts to great programs in the name of incredible ones.
ill start off with the most controversial one – spending cuts for the National Endowment for the Arts, and the […]
Since my last post I wanted to write one for some of the people here. This is mostly for people I’ve crossed paths with in the comments recently, but I appreciate everyone here. We might not have talked, but many people here have become very valuable to me.
I don’t know where to start… over the last couple of days I’ve been feeling several times that my depression has lifted. It’s a very gentle, subtle lift, but this is something that hasn’t happened to me for years. I’ve been much, much better physically the past couple of days (it changes dramatically from one day, hour, minute […]
I have known my husband for 5 years, married for 3.
I have come to the conclusion that one does not know loneliness until married to someone who ignores you.
Intimacy and sex are very important to me. I love cuddling, massaging, touching, and making love to my husband. My husband does not reciprocate very much. And now he also doesn’t have sex very much. My husband has depression. In the last 6 1/2 months we have had sex 4 times. 4 (that’s four) times in 6 1/2 months (little over half a year). We used to have sex everyday.
My husband also likes to […]
I’m still getting through my depression. It’s almost a daily battle here at college, but I’m surviving somehow. I heard this music one day with my therapist, and I couldn’t stop crying.
This song has kept me through some of the hard days. I play it when I fall asleep. I wake up better.
i was all excited to at least try to die. didn’t think I’d succeed but hopefully I’d get a better sense on how to do it. But the new washer is being delivered and my dad decided to stay home for it. I’m pretty pissed.
I realize now that it was his fault. I was too young to understand, & although I’m still young, I understand it better now. He was a piece of shit who took advantage of me. I don’t even think I actually consented; I think I just did it because it was what he wanted me to do. But now, I see that it was wrong & I never deserved it. I fucking hate him. You don’t take advantage of a 13 year old girl when you’re 24, you fucking sick piece of trash.
Im new to this forum. I recently found it and Ive been searching for something like this for a while. Im sad. Very sad. I mean, I see a few good days but overall Im sad. I dont want to be sad, no one does, but I dont know what to do anymore. I know that these past few weeks Ive been contemplating something I never thought Id want. Suicide. I always thought that would never be an option for me due to family things that Id rather not discuss here but It seems to be on my mind a lot.
Maybe I need a friend […]
Hello everyone! I’m a newbie to this website, and I figured I should post a little something about me- so here goes nothing. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was in seventh grade. Ever since I was small, I has hyperaware of everything around me, spooking at the drop of a hat. This really fried my nerves, and I became even more introverted than I already was. I was also very ill as a child. I was constantly sick to my stomach, my limbs constantly trembled, exhaustion clouded my every turn, and I was an insomniac. My parents knew little to nothing […]
What a horrible day. I feel like a complete fuck up. I’ve decided not to eat today just to punish myself. Maybe I will do better tomorrow. Probably not though. I forsee things getting worse.
Rock Bottom. It’s more of a home to me now than ever before. I come and go from this place. I never leave it permanently. I end up messing things up all the time anyhow. I don’t feel anything. I feel sick. I feel like the energy is slowly dying in me. I can’t go to anyone anymore. I annoy them with my constant complaints. They have better things to do. Lately, days seem longer and the sleep seems short. I’ve been here before. I know every pain and feeling that comes with being here again. I can never get used to it. I always […]
I wanted to kill myself this coming Friday. But then I got this email offering me some work. I don’t like to let people down. the work is scheduled for the Monday after my planned Friday. And I have all this “hope” inside that I can make things better, That should be a good thing, but I’m scared. I’ve gone through this cycle so many times. And after hope comes despair again. So many times have I decided on suicide but then decided against it only to come back to it again. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
I had an affair while I was married, we were married for 16 years and have a daughter together. I was unhappy, lonely and tried to reach out to my husband to get counseling together. He thought it was a waste of money and told me I was a bitchy wife. I met someone while we were married and he made me feel beautiful, loved, important and actually enjoyed having a conversation with me. We started meeting after I would drop my daughter off at school and while my husband was at work. It went on for months and then I started to realize what […]
Im so excited! I only have a week left untill I’m out! till I’m done with life. Friday will be my death day, one day after my birthday. I could stick around and go through all the work of getting better, but I don’t want to. I know it’s selfish and I accept that. I know people will hurt, that’s why I’ve written each one a letter. I just gotta clean up some stuff, pick out the tree and I’ll be gone on Friday for sure 🙂
being awake doesn’t bother me. I do rather enjoy life. But sleep is just so much better. Something about going to sleep is appealing. If it weren’t for the fact you had to inevitably wake up, it would be the perfect feeling.
Does anyone else feel like every time you wake up to a new day, a little more of you is stripped away? If I could turn down sleep, I probably would. Because every time I wake up, I slowly fall apart more. If sleeping wasn’t a factor then what is left of me would remain in tact. But you can’t stay awake, not forever. […]
I just stumbled across the site two days ago. Decided to start posting today. I have to say it helps. Trying to help others feel better makes me feel better, for now. I guess it is why I have a degree in Psychology. That I don’t use anymore because of chronic illness. Oh well, none about that. I am going to try to go to sleep with thoughts of sunshine and light. lol Thank y’all.
Yall remember those “friends” I made in the god damn psyche ward? Well I added Sarah and John on Facebook from that ward and exhanged numbers. Not only have they not returned my calls BUT I looked on my Facebook page and fucking beautiful! They both denied me. Couldn’t have fucked me over better myself! See? Fake people! No wonder I’m a god damn recluse. As for my “fishing buddy” Mitchell, never could get ahold of him ether. Well fuck me!
I always thought that the majority of my reasons is because of me… How broken and misserable i am… But now i realize… You are the reason why im completely broken and why im misserable…. Coz you’re a parasite… You suck me dry of my ambitions… How could i have energy to make my life better when each day you fill me with hate anger and resentments. I spend soooo much time with self pitty and crying. I spend so much energy pretending to be happy… And you know what… I cant pretend anymore… You wonder why i nag??? Well maybe coz the things you […]