So. Tonight I was the closest I’ve ever gotten to finally killing myself. I mean it’s been maybe 8 months since I came to the conclusion that I needed to die, yet all I have to show for it are some fading scratches on my arm. It’s also been only a little bit shorter since I’ve started cutting myself – not so much because it made me feel better, but to get used to the pain and basically practice. I have to admit though, it usually did make the pain go away for the moment – except today. I made a deliberately deeper cut than […]
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better
I messed up. I am so fucking stupid. Now, it’s been three days and a non-stop panic attack. It’d just be better if I died and never existed.
I was a rebound. We weren’t even dating for 2 days. She didn’t even want me. Right when someone better came along she wanted to leave. So why did she even say yes in the first place and why does this hurt so much. It’s like I can’t stop crying..
I find myself spending virtually all my time thinking, contemplating how meaningless everything is, and what the world will be like after I am gone (and it seems much better without than with me.)
– Maybe I’m just imagining them. The pain will not exist. It’s all in my mind. It’s mind over matter. It will not. It should not. It does not. –
Hi bestf
I just wanna hide in corners with ya. Hide hide. Cause I like looking at people but not people looking at me.
Don’t hurt yourself for me. Stupid idiot. Silly silly. You’re pretty and an amazing piece of work. You are really amazing. Sigh. You idiot. Thank you for sticking. You’re really a wonderful gem in my life.
Don’t worry. I’ll be there to help you whenever you need. No matter how confused you feel, how upset […]
My life feels like a story, but i havent gotten my happy ending yet so far things have being going wrong for me. I’ve always wanted to write a book about my life, but i dont know where to start. You think you guys can help me out? I think it would help me get things off my mind by not hurting myself. I think it would be better to write about my life then hurt it. Anyways just let me know if you want to help me out
sometimes life is just too hard
you can only help yourself
except, i can’t
please let me leave
just please help me make this less painful
it will be so much better for everyone
Society doesn’t care
My “friends”don’t care
My family….I can’t even begin
I feel guilty about everything, though many times i could not have known better
When things seem like they’re going better, don’t be fooled. They aren’t.
I FUCKING WANT TO BE DEAD. I’m tired of this shit.
I’m a 15 year old Sophomore in highschool.
I don’t believe in God, so I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think the only reason people “love” God is because they don’t want to risk going to hell IF God is real. Humans act on self interest, right?
Back to suicide, I plan on commiting suicide after I graduate high school. I’m not depressed at all, and there is no underlying depression, but I just think life is pointless. You work hard in highschool so you can go to college and work hard so you can get a job, and then you work hard for the […]
I think that a lot of our hate towards ourselves comes from the comparison game that we play. Facebook and instagram and tumblr. All of the images and the posts and the videos we see of peoples lives on these sites are luxurious and “better than ours”. We compare ourselves so much to these people…..
“oh, she’s so pretty, why can’t I be that pretty”
“oh, she’s so skinny, why can’t I be that thin”
“oh they are skydiving”
“oh they have a huge house” ……… so on and so forth
We are all constantly comparing ourselves to the people that are just like us, […]
Does anyone else just feel like running? Running away from home or from life. I thought I was getting better, but I was wrong, last night I had thousands of very familiar thoughts – stabbing, overdosing, jumping….thoughts that I thought were all in my past. I thought of it kind of differently this time though. I would be missed by my family sure, but then I thought that maybe they would be better off without me. That their lives would be so much easier without me. I make too much trouble here, I fight with my mother all the time, which then affects everyone else, […]
Now my depression is grey- and red; as, I’v poured wine on my sadness. Wrapping my hands round the coffee mug my wine hides in, thinking it’ll all be over soon. The red has now mixed in with my blood, streaming together, creating weaves throughout my soul. The mug is now stained with red tears; but, my tears are dry, I’ll cry no more.
The waves can’t settle, or they seize to exist.
The music gets better as the waves get stronger: both feeding off one another; both feeding my soul. The waves must go on.
Link: http://wp.me/p3Duo0-HCM
I try to get over my depression and I feel better for some days but I go all over again from the beginning . I’m tired of life and I decided to suicide . I know this will be hard for my family and I will miss my sister so much because she is life for me and mom was always a perfect mother for us and my dad and my brother are my love . but sometimes we need to take hard decisions because I can’t stay in this depression
I think I’m poison. I made it through the holidays through sheer will and maybe some kind of grace. But now…it’s a new year and so, yeah…what now, right? I’m just breathing and I even forget to do that sometimes. It’s like I’m waiting on something. Holding my breath. Expectant. And I guess that is kind of hope, right? So there is that. And there is my kid. Who is…well, everything. But then there is all of the other stuff which is big and small and there’s me who messes up and I have honestly begun to think maybe I am poison.
All my life I […]
Well I’m finally to the point where I’m ready to go. I’ve been a waste of air these past few months anyways. I thought soo much better of you, but as always, you never fail to disappoint. “Did he say anything about not being able to see his son for his Birthday?”. Yeah, I heard all about it like always. Your hurting him the most out of all of us.
But I forgive you, mainly because I have to. I guess a lot has to do with the fact that despite what you’ve done to me, I still love you. Must be unconditional love, who knows. […]
The pain is getting worse. The pain is getting longer. The pain is getting more frequent.
Maybe I should keep quiet about it. A silent suicide.
Yeah. I won’t talk about it anymore. If I die, then so be it. It’ll be all natural, won’t it.
Stay calm. Patience. Just be patient. Just wait. Let it be natural. All in all, it’ll be a better memory for those who remember.
Be patient.
Is it better to feel everything at once or nothing at all I’m numb one minute then I feel everything the next the cycle repeast
I am going to kill myself soon. I have a question, however? Would it be better to delete my social media accounts completely before I commit the deed, or should I leave some of them for my family to do with as they please? (I also kind of wanted to keep my writing blog up as some sort of…I don’t know, testament to how much I loved creative writing.)
So, would it better to wholly erase my online identity–photos, videos, etc.? Would that lessen my family’s pain, since they would have less reminders of me after I die? Or would it better to let them decide […]
Abba Zabba, your my only friend……get lifted! Hopefully 2015 is better than 2014 for everyone of you. Shouldn’t be hard right? Because, like………fuck 2014. Lol.