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by Scarlett Dawn
written by Scarlett Dawn

Happiness has long eluded me. I lost the sensation of warmth in my soul. I cannot feel anymore. I miss feeling worthy. I miss the gentle touch of another humans embrace.

The only time where I can remember being truly happy was during my deployment to Dubai. I got to meet soldiers from other countries, and I was away from Australia that holds a lot of painful memories. I found a picture in the ARA newspaper today and it brought a smile to my face – it had been taken early march when I did a speech for International Women’s Day. Major General Omar showed his […]

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I don’t know what’s happening

by lolzmay
written by lolzmay

Well, i was diagnosed with endogenous depression a couple months ago and i haven’t really been getting any better. Lately I’ve been struggling to eat; I feel like i’m going to puke at the thought of food, and having to force myself to eat makes me cry. I can’t handle more than a couple spoonfuls of food before I feel sick, and I just can’t understand why. Has anyone else ever gone through this?

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Trapped

by TwistedSpace
written by TwistedSpace

That’s how I feel. I want to die, but I feel stuck now. There are people who love me. People who want to see me get far in life. But I barely have any motivation to do anything. I don’t have a job, and I wasn’t able to graduate last year because of the sheer amount of days I missed from school. My ex is the total opposite of me. He has likes, wants, goals, and tons of motivation. He graduated high school last year, and took on a job at wal-mart to support his hobbies. I’m this person who’s dependent on medication and even […]

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Waiting

by MuteKaterwaul
written by MuteKaterwaul

The night before last I let my anchor go – the only person who held me somewhat together. He broke up with me last year after a few years of long distance dating but we remained close friends up until now. He has a new girlfriend and it was clear he was drifting further away from our friendship no matter how much he denied it. I don’t blame him. He was broken like me when I met him, not suicidal that I know of but certainly depressed, and over the years he has gotten better and I have not.

It was probably horrible of me but […]

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Internal Conflict

by teardownthewall
written by teardownthewall

I would consider myself to be an intelligent person. I’ve always sought to understand how and why things are and gravitated towards reading challenging books at a young age. In Middle School I was reading books like The Count of Monte Cristo and Watership Down. By Highschool I was obsessed with authors like Alan Moore, Ray Bradbury, George Owell and Auldous Huxley. Now I’ve been clinging to Ayn Rand like she’s my own mother. It’s because of these people and the books they wrote that I’ve been instilled with a deep sense of morality and individualism. They kept me going long after I couldn’t and […]

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She didn’t exist

by TishToshTash89
written by TishToshTash89

When I was about 12 – 13 years old (I’m now 24) thought I was gay. I started going on a forum where I met a girl called Serena. I spoke to her every single day, eventually we decided to be girlfriends. Being that age I really felt like I was in love, I loved speaking to her over the net and by text. She’d get me to leave voicemails too, I’d do anything for her. It was so nice finally having someone to talk to, I didn’t have any friends and was always bullied… She made everything so much better.

This carried on for months, […]

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It’s time.

by shasha22
written by shasha22

My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]

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Feel As If I Can’t Do This Anymore

by LostInPain
written by LostInPain

I am so very lonely..and tired. I lost the love of my life seven years ago….we had been married for nine years. He died suddenly of a heart attack and I was the one who found him dead. I can’t explain how much I loved this man and how him dying at 39 yrs old almost killed me too. I had been disabled a few years before he died, I have spinal and brain tumors, and the surgeries not only disabled me, but caused me so much pain in the aftermath, that I lost my job as a trauma nurse because […]

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My Story – Scottish Tornado

by ScottishTornado
written by ScottishTornado

Since October 2012 I have been living in a nightmare. I was engaged, with 2 children living in a nice house with a good job. Then I made a mistake and I lost it all. I lost the job and then family within the space of 7 days.
 
I had regular access to my kids until Christmas 2012 when after an argument my ex decided I shouldn’t see my kids. I missed my daughters 1st Christmas, so on the 31st I decided to kill myself. I drove to the cemetery near where I grew up and I took 90 Amitriptyline hydrochloride with a bottle of vodka. I waited […]

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he wishes i was dead and so do i

by wombers
written by wombers

He’s stood by my side through my depression, went above and beyond, more than anyone else would ever even think about. He stayed with me after my last attempt and tried to get me help. I can’t explain how much i owe him. Now though I’m nothing more than a burden. He see’s me as a parasite and i can see it in his eyes when he’s angry hed love nothing more than to squash me like one. Or if i just dropped dead everything would be ok for him, everything would be better. I’ve been on meds for a year now and they have […]

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My story

by Paige
written by Paige

Let’s just say, the last six years of my life haven’t been easy.. and now I’m at a point in life where I’m starting to struggle. When I was fourteen, I lost my mum to cancer, and that was when my world started to come crashing down. I went off the rails.. I spent all of my time drinking, taking drugs, trying to shut everything out and for a while it worked. That was until my brother got ill, since we’d lost mum, he was severely depressed and wouldn’t leave the house. He started to act strange and had a few episodes in which he […]

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Running Through the Dark Forest Some Would Call Memory Lane

by katiebear12
written by katiebear12

Ah, I return back to the dark abyss called my memories. Let me describe one that encompassed the last three years of my life:

Not too long ago, I got involved in some pretty bad things. Throughout this, I will never say exactly what, but a clever mind can fit the puzzle pieces together. I was 15-16, just looking into the world of the internet. I had discovered things no child should ever see, noted by the obvious adult only signs.

Eventually, I started talking to real people on the internet. Granted, they were mostly males because that’s who mainly was interested in me. That stroke of […]

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If you’re planning, just read this first.

by iamsamijo
written by iamsamijo

Hi there, my name is Sami Jo. I remember being 13, and it was the best year of my life. After that, I fell into a dark place and thought there was no way out. I decided at 15 that it just wasn’t going to get any better. Over the next 5 years, I tried to kill myself 5 different times and somehow someone or something stopped me every single time from succeeding. I’m 21 now and I still have days where I am angry for ever being born into this world. But, every now and then I’ll have days like today where I think […]

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Changes

by Not typical
written by Not typical

I’ve had a few good days. Better than before. The thoughts are still there. Who knows. I’ll just keep going for now. It’s strange to pretend this side doesn’t exist. Maybe this will go away eventually. I don’t want to think about it any more… Just feel better. Circumstances are changing…. For better or worse, we will see.

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I’m Tired

by sleeplessinSTL
written by sleeplessinSTL

I’m so tired. I just miss my best friends. This entire thing is bullshit. I’m just so tired, and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t ‘hang on’ because it ‘gets better’. I’ve been waiting so long for it to get better. I can’t wait anymore, I’m just too tired.

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Idk anymore

by scarlett...
written by scarlett...

I don’t know what’s happening with me !! I’ve been having thoughts about harming myself and thinking that life would be better with out me …the last few months have been awful I’ve lost weight , not eating , just sitting alone .. All my friends left me, my family is mad at me !! I just don’t know what to do .:: last night was the first time I cut myself  ..:but I’ve came to realization that I don’t need to do that ! I need help please someone help me !

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I want to disappear

by von
written by von

I am very ashamed of myself. No, my life isn’t filled with constant despair, and I haven’t lost anyone important to me. Nothing that bad actually happened to me. Still, I really want to disappear.

My friends are much more distant than they were before, and I can’t actually mantain a stable relationship between me and my parents. I feel like there’s a hole where it should be my heart, and the only thing that makes me feel better is reading. If I talk to anyone, they’ll probably tell me to stop complaining, and that my life is much better than I think.

I feel like I’m […]

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The Solution to Self Harm

by TheStranger17
written by TheStranger17

You know, I am trying to limit myself to one post per day on here, but something is bothering me. Well… not bothering. But I have something to share.
I never used to get self harm – even when I was doing it myself, but I didn’t think it was self harm until about a year ago. I never… understood why people did it. To get away? Because they hate themselves? Boredom? Distractions? I don’t know…I still cannot comprehend why I and others do it, because hurting yourself when you are already hurting is… nonsensical. But we do it anyway. We do it for the […]

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