i tried to kill myself. more than once actually. i was put in the hospital for 3 weeks. and while i was in there i was happy. i was that happy and excited kid i was before depression took over me. but as soon as i got out everything went back to the way it was before. my mom and dad scream and yell at me all the time, they make me feel worthless, and they make me just want to run away and never look back. My brother lives in a different city and i haven’t talked to him in a long time. me […]
I’m a very sensitive person. I just don’t understand how people can be so mean to people they don’t even know. Or being mean in general. You all know the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But they do hurt, they hurt more then sticks and stones. I don’t know how to stop the words from entering my mind even after pushing them out. Words like; annoying, *****, lazy, fat, ****, mean, slut, whore. I have been called every single one. I tried to stop cutting but I cant.
I don’t have anyone to talk to. My sister […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
i want to die soooo bad, i think about it all the time now. i’ve been thinking about shooting myself in the head, i’ll put the gun in my mouth to make sure i dont survive. yep, thats how i want to die, i have officially chosen my exit plan. im not sure on when im going to do it, but its probably going to be soon. hopefully before anyone suspects me of being suicidal again. right now, everyone thinks im fine, that im doing great, but on the inside, im despising every single minute of living. i have gotten used to being suicidal for […]
I’m not suicidal ( I think). I don’t have a shitty life (from a privileged family). I’m not a teen (no hormone imbalance).
Though, I do feel like a piece trash most of the time. (I know….you can call me a whinny ***** later)
I’m one of those people that no one will ever think to be depressed. I’m in university. I have a lot of “friends”. I have a loving and successful family. Yet I hate myself most of the time because as a single child to a very privileged family, I’m bloody mediocre and boring as a piece of white paper.
Most people around me often say I’m […]
Keep it in your head *****, you can’t do it yet, your grandma is still alive and your sister is little.
i feel useless to this world. im not good enough for anyone or anything. i suck at everything i do and i’ll just be a failure the rest of my life. im ugly, stupid and an annoying ***** who needs to die. i’ll never be the pretty one, i’ll never succeed. my mind is all fucked up with suicidal thoughts and im not the person who i was before. now i just wanna die and escape this pain. what reason do i have to still be here if no one loves me, the only thing i’ll do is cry myself to sleep, self-harm, and hate […]
It can always be worse, I mean I could not have legs or something. But the idea of outward problems that can easily be identified seems so much Better than what I suffer with. It’s those little inward things, that eat you out slowly, dying on the inside, dominated by things that shouldn’t own me. I’ve attempted suicide, I’ve drank too much took too many pills. I’ve hurt myself just to feel something, and speaking from experience it doesn’t work. Whatever’s on the other side has to be better than what’s going on for me over here. I can honestly say that I don’t have […]
why even try to be happy you just end up being sad again anyways. I’m so tired of telling everyone I’m fine and when I decide to tell them I’m not being told that I’m just a selfish *****. whats the point to all of this? I’m just gonna die anyway why drag out the pain.
I’m sitting on my bed, and all I hear is the rain falling and the wind going crazy. Sometimes I wish there was more sun here. It makes me more depressed looking outside. Today has been another bad day, I feel like I can’t talk to anyone, and I feel so lonely. I’ve lost mostly all my friends because I’ve been with my bf for 2 years and it’s all about him now, which is good because he’s my friend but when he’s not there I feel so alone. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t understand how much sadness I feel inside, and all the […]
I have a good life friends that care about me my dad has money and we are doing fine but my mom died when i was six from breast cancer she got it from pregnancy i’m always missing her even though i don’t remember her i sometimes feel its my fault she died, and on top of that i get okay grades but never good enough for my dad i stopped trying which made it worse but im no longer motivated i just don’t care anymore. He yells at me all the time saying words don’t matter but today was the worst i feel broken […]
i have scars. yeah, they’re pretty bad. all up my arms and legs. But they serve a nice purpose. they remind not to do dumb shit like trust anyone, or believe there is hope, or even believe in general. they remind me that life is one big game of lies, of which, i lose. They remind me that life is like a funhouse mirror, you think everything is perfect until you step in front of one. and then BAM! everything just goes wack. so yeah, I wear black. “typical emo” though right? (*bastards*) I wear black to remind me that everyday is a day to […]
Last night was just an all around bad night. My girlfriend needed to go to the hospital and I offered to go with her, but she said “no” because I need to sleep for school, understandable. And then my boyfriend said he will go with and she jumped at the idea which honestly just bugged the shit out of me. I mean, how in the world did it make sense that she only wanted him with her. I just was so mad. And then again I was bothered because they just automatically assumed I will watch their 2 year old daughter. And yes, I know […]
That was all it could give me….4 months free of cuts and suicidal thoughts, seeing life in a brighter light.
4 months of not coming on this site and yet still being able to survive.
Not anymore, though.
Life is back. My R&R is over.
Time to get back on the wagon.
Welcome back, *****.
okay this has nothing to do with suicide i just need to get this out you don’t have to read if ya don’t want to.
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So my bff likes this guy and he’s amazing he’s taller than me (I’m 5’9 in the seventh grade) and he loves all the music I do, he connects with me, and we never get bored of eachother when we talk… it’s clear that i like him too. and I realllllyyy really like him, and I think he likes me (he always stares at me and smiles when I come and talk to him and smiles whenever he sees […]
your so fucking selfsih. i hate you so much. how unfortunate that you are in all of my classes you fat rat. all the harm you have done will come back to you. karma is a *****.
The real world isn’t rainbows and sparkles.
It’s not always fun and rarely easy.
Honestly its far from easy or fun.
It’s cruel and brutal,
Cold and heartless,
Unforgiving and dark,
Depressing and awful,
Bitchy and duechey,
Pointless and crazy,
And so are the people in the fucked up world.
Its full of the terrible people,
people that feed off your pain,
they will do anything to make you suffer.
People are vile and cruel.
They will do anything to make you miserable.
Some days they are going to win,
but some day they will lose and you will realize how strong you are.
It all started in my Freshman year. I was in my Ancient History class and these guys would whisper “*****” as i walked by. Throughout my first semester i was called lesbian, fat, ugly, whore, and *****. I would go home and think how everyone would be better off without me there.
December 8,2012 my world crashed down around me. My grandfather Skip who stepped in and took care of my grandma and my mom and her sisters  for 17 years passed away from cancer. He was a […]
It’s fine
I’m fine.
everything is fucking perfect.
no.
wait.
that’s a lie.
it isn’t.
and it won’t be.
“comon you idiot, smile. fake it! fake it!”
shut up coscience.
Look, pick your damn head up.
look in his eyes.
comon!
look!
jackie!
“I can’t…”
“he’s crying.”
“i’m dead…finally.”
he’s crying.
no, he’s laughing.
they all are.
they all are happy.
she’s dead, she’s dead, out her ankle she bled yay yay she’s dead.
they chant.
fucking cunts.
how am I seeing this.
my death.
holy fuck am I dead.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
shut up.
no.
I’m fine…
It’s okay…
I keep forgetting about this site
So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.
I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot […]