I hate feeling sorry for myself. I realize how good I got it. How AWESOME my life would be to most. On the outside this “wanna-be hard ass” or that “beautiful smile that lights up a room” type of happy-go-lucky girl (As my 4th grade teacher would say). This girl who’s loud and fun to be around aka the LIFE of the party; that girl who doesn’t want the party to stop ……. That’s the problem ; that’s who you see … That’s who I allow you to see. I’m SUCH a good actress aren’t I? … because this girl inside , is dying … […]
Tag:
Bitch
u say u love me more then ur life
u say im the girl u will eventually mary
u say u will never forget me
u say im the best gf u have eva had
u say how strong ur love for me is
u say im beautiful
u say u would do anything for me
til u decided im worth nothing cuz now i got my phone and ipod taken away 4ever u want NOTHING to do with me. u say if we cant text or call there is no point in making an effort.
WHY did u say all those things […]
Its been a while since I posted. Family moved down to Florida finishing up things in Indiana before I join them. Wonderful support of family made this all possible. I still struggle with the depression(she is on mean *****), but I am in control. Evil thoughts do not linger and I actually smiled and laughed the other day for the first time in awhile. Thank you everyone on this site for giving me a open ear or just a place to keep everybody updated. I don’t think I will be on this site much longer its time to start living again. My only advise […]
and its raining like a god damn *****. And I have to go to my shrink. On a bike. I hate her even more now.
as long as i chudd remember my mom was on drugs. wen she was high on pills me nd my sister picking her uhp off dha floor nd putting her on dha bed, making shure she ate, nd giving her a bath became a every day routine. we were young, very young nd we had to run behind our mom like a toddler. our dad wasnt going to do iht nor was our brothers, he had a enough wit her popping pills nd being selfish. me nd my sister was too bhuh our love for our mom was so much dhatt iht chuddnt let us leave her der. […]
My family is moving, but I don’t want to. I’m not old enough to live on my own, and it sucks. I grew up in this house, I love this house. I can run around in the dark with my eyes closed and know where everything is.
But, even though I love this house, pain lingers in the air for me. I refuse to die in a new house that I do not feel comfortable in. I know this house like all my scars. I remember when I was just a child, carefree and happy.
In the new house, I will have to make new […]
How does one cope with the monotony of life. Dead end jobs. Pointless relationships. Living for the weekend..
Is it really fair to say I want to commit suicide, if I feel like I’ve never really lived at all.
I thought giving up smoking drinking and drugs, while taking on exercise and healthy eating would improve my life but no. The little joy I had left in my life is gone.
I start work in a few hours, haven’t slept in a few days thinking about this. Is tonight the night. I’ve picked up the knife so many times already and pussied out, but this time I can […]
Okay,here goes.
My names murron mackay,incase you hadn’t guessed by my username, and today I was searching on the internet about getting help on being suicidal, and I stumbled on this website. I had a look through and thought I would add my story. It’s nothing huge, infact compared to most of the stories on here, it’s like nothing. But anyway, in a nutshell, here is my story.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a family, a roof over my head and even a boyfriend, and i know what you’s are all thinking, ‘Selfish *****’ etc etc..But before you judge, please read this blog and hear me […]
Well its finally official, I’m doing nothing with my life, I can’t even get up outbid my bed to get myself a Heath care card. I need it for when I go to tafe, which is like a college it’s just really shit, and cheap..
Anyway it’s going to cost 1606.00 If I don’t have a health care card, it’ll only be 303 less with one but yeah.
Well anyway, I’ve decided im not going to do this corse because I fail everything I try, and I don’t have the money or motivation at all.
I would rather work until next year and do something […]
That awkward moment when that person you forgave betrays you in EXACTLY the same way again.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It’s actually funny because of how screwed over I am.
But don’t worry, retaliation is coming, *****. I let the last time slide because I must be a fucking saint, but this will not go unpunished.
MWAHAHAHAHAHA. You’ve yet to reckon with me, sweetheart.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY.
Happy Fathers Day everyone! Well, today’s the day. The first Fathers Day without my dad. It’s kinda sad .. I’ve been trying not to think about it, because it’ll just hurt more. I still never found out how he died, I think someone’s hiding something from me. I don’t think autopsy’s take that long, does anyone agree? He’s been gone for about 8 months. Time flies! He was a drug addict. Always has been. He’s always gotten away with everything, & I believe in Karma honestly! Right around the time he died, he was trying to do the right thing. […]
My mother tuts and scolds me when I say things like how I think she and the rest of the family would have been better off without me, but I think I’m right. I’ve been a financial and emotional burden for most of my life, and now I suppose it’s mostly financial, but what does it matter.
My mom’s boyfriend flipped out on me a couple nights ago, what triggered it is still kind of a mystery, but apparently he had a real bone to pick because he screamed abuse at me for the better part of an hour. It wouldn’t bother me if none of […]
i dont want anyone to kill themselves. not me nether
like i said in a previous post “i dont belong”
wondering what life would be on the other side. lay down all my burdens. i picked up a knife and i cut my wrist so deeply i ended up in the hospital for 3 days. im now not even aloud to handle a butterknife without supervision so to speak. im not suicidal for god’s sake. im tired. if people would let me. i would leave. if people knew how i feel. they would know what i mean.
its like jogging for miles and stop and you have no […]
So I’m marissa. I’m 14 and my life sucks.
My mom is a workaholic and drinks all the time. I only see her for 5 minutes in the morning and one Saturday a month.
My step- father verbaly and (once) physhicaly abused me. I hate him. He treats his daughter like a princess and makes me do all the chours.
My step-sister is the biggest ***** ever she punches me and she’s only 7! She constantly goes into my room and fucks it up!
September 14, 2012 I lost my aunt to a battle of cancer, melanoma. Life hasn’t been the same since. I cry every night […]
Hi everyone.. I’m new here and i really need to get some stuff off of my chest. Apparently, i’ve been dealing with nothing but family problems. Mostly it’s between me and my mom and I’m tired of it. All the time she yells at me. Mainly, she just verbally abuses me; always she’ll throw my stuff on my bedroom floor and tells me to pick up. Like really? She’s the one who dropped it so why should i? And when i don’t do something right she’ll yell and call me stupid names: idiot, *****, ************, useless child, and so on. My dad thinks that it’s […]
I got called a ‘*****’ by my mom for laughing. I was thinking about her hitting her toe on my bed and burst into laughter. And in a coincident, the daughter of her enemy was outside looking tacky as fuck, so my mom just assumed that i was laughing at her. Here’s how it went.
Me: * burst into laughter*
Mom: what’s so funny?
Me: hold on *continues laughing*
Mom: you need to quit laughing at people because you wouldn’t like it if peoples talked about you
Me:im not laughing at her.
Mom: yes you are! and you didnt brush your teeth today, did you?!
Woke up from a very disturbing nightmare, into this life that is a nightmare that i live in. Even with my daughter waking up beside me it still cant save me from the brutal reality. I live with my grandparents still,. my grandma has fibromialgia, depression, and barely talks to me, i hate her, im trying to watch Bella and shes sleeping on the couch, i asked her to move she wouldnt, said she wasnt like “sleep sleeping” lol *****. I fucking hate her, i know she heard me screaming this morning as i woke up, i seen her, she said nothing. Ill do it […]
to my best friend,
you don’t exist
i don’t have a best friend
they all disappeared when i needed them the most
what happened?
what did i do wrong,
other than f***ing myself up?
if i could change the problems i have
i would,
but i cant.
why did you leave me?
i wasn’t going to hurt you
i wasn’t going to hurt anyone,
except myself
i don’t want to be all alone
but because you left me i am
i know I’m a *****
but i didn’t mean to be that mean.
why wont you come back?
i didn’t mean to drive you away.
i have […]
From 3rd – 5th grade I was that sweet and shy little innocent girl but then when 6th grade came I turned into a tougher girl and still am. I hate the new me, I hate my life, I hate everything! I just want to go back to the sweet and shy little innocent girl I was years ago. Ever since my dog, Lillie, died the day after my birthday in February this year I have become so depressed. She was like a dog version of me. I loved her. But then God decided to take her away from me by making her […]
So, my wife fucked another dude about 2 years ago and then left me for the guy I caught her with. Â I then got fucked over by the feminist judge after the Mrs. pleaded the BS “emotional abandonment routine” in court even though we had what I thought was a great relationship and now I pay her about 90% of my paycheck. Â On top of that she got the house, the kids, blah blah blah. Â Her and her family then got her sister to come out and said I had slept with her when I had not and she was 15 at the time so […]