By:EmoCookie
Boom
Bam
Slam
No one heard the pain that I believe I desever
Slice
Dice
That is th price that I pay for myself
Spray
Snif
The way I can take myself from this world to be happy for just a second
Slap
Crack
Punch
Have nothing left
Get something someone can’t take from me
Safty pins
No longer come safe for me
Blade box cutters
No longer are for boxes
For my arm is now the box
And the blade […]
Hey guys and girls hows it going? I was on this site about a month ago after my suicide attempt. The reason i haven’t been on is because my lifes been pretty stagnant. I also admit to starting cutting on my last post. I stopped that for now, but I don’t know how much longer I can resist the allure of the blade. Even now it calls to me. It promises relief and salvation. I don’t know how much longer i can hold out before cutting again.
My Papa (Grandfather) has gone to sleep in his room.
My Daddy has the flu, he is laying down in bed.
My mother is working on coupons on the computer across the room.
My second youngest brother is on the couch near me reading a book he got for christmas.
My littlest brother is making mashed potatoes for dinner.
My dog is chewing on a rawhide.
My cat is with my dad.
And I am screaming. Silently shrieking.
My loving family goes on like this. How they cannot see the blade so blatently slashing at my gut I cannot imagine. That they don’t see my insides being […]
I’m done with this shit, I’m done crying because of how they view me, I’m done hiding from the mirror because i don’t want to see myself, I’m done living up to their expectations, I’m done thinking of the people who killed themselves.
I’m sick of it all, I hate being afraid, I hate being in a dark place, I hate hiding from the world because i thought I couldn’t deal with it. I’m sick of people wondering why I don’t date, because I don’t want too, I’m sick of people asking if I’m lesbian (nothings wrong with it) I just have no attraction to any human. I don’t […]
See these wrist, See these veins, See this blade, Now watch me bleed! You don’t know how hard it is for me not to cut my wrist again, I’m trying to survive this time, i need to live, but your making it hard for me not to do it. I’m tired of all your lies and bullshit! Your sweet to just get in a girls pants, well just go find your self some whores and you’ll be better off. bc i’m not gunna wait around for you to see that i would be better for you then a whore, but you would like to go […]
Suicide Poem
I don’t want to live, I’m ready to die, I reach for the blade and  let out a sigh. I’m sick of this world, I’m sick of it all, what would happen if I had a ‘Fall’ from a building or off a train track, would anyone actually want me back? If i Swallow these pills or fall down the stairs, I wonder if anyone actually cares. Don’t blame my family, it wasn’t their fault, my life was just ready to come to a hault. I know that I’m young, but I really don’t care, I sit on my bed with a lifeless stare. […]
So I decided to end my life once again. And once again I failed. I had the noose around my neck, I was getting tunnel vision as everything faded, bliss filling me, and I stood back up. I’m far too heavy to actually hang myself on like the ceiling fan whilst standing on a chair and kicking it away, so I go for partial suspension which is all it really takes. I tie my bathrobe into a noose and tie it in my closet, slip my head through, tighten it and kneel. I don’t know why I do it, but each time I get back up right […]
Every where i go,
death follows me,
his accomplice on his shoulder,
waiting for a feed.
The blood raven calls,
“your soul is mine to keep.”
my heart grows cold,
and my eyes begins to weep.
Infected with a darkness that none can understand,
death offers me asylum in a dark and foreign land,
a land full of souls, just as lost as mine
stuck in the dark for an endless lenghth of time
The raven calls again.
“Please accept our offer, friend,
you’ll be with your own till the passage of time ends.”
And with that final word, they return to their land.
The offer on the table and […]
Although i keep you close,I wish it was happiness that I choose, now all is dry and faded away, at least till i see stanley again,people call you “bad” and “not a real friend”,but they dont know how deep and caring you are stanley, your always there and you’ll always listen and always care, you hold me close like its all gonna end you may be cold at times but no worries i will give you a place nice and warm and once again my arm…my body will be a blood storm, but stanleyplease dont let go i promise no one will know, […]
I feel helpless.
Unmotivated. Unloved. Pathetic.
It’s not because of my pessimistic mindset but it’s what everyone thinks I am. They’re right. I am worthless. I feel like I’m hanging off the edge and no one is there to save me. My parents would never understand why I’m unhappy. They would say how blessed I am to live under a roof and have food.
Maybe I’m ungrateful, too. But it’s not my fault that I feel this way. Depression has taken over my life and I think I can handle it on my own with a blade and self-loathing. I’m a coward as well. Instead of discussing my […]
I lay awake at night. Restless. Another sleepless night. The voices spin me around like one of those carnival rides we used to love so much. Out of control. Disoriented. Vertigo.
Heartless. *****. Worthless.
Give me a chance! Forever Alone.
Sing better. Draw better. Play better.
I’ll try harder! A disappointment.
Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not kind enough.
I’ll be better! Never good enough.
Hated. Unloved. Pathetic.
Give me a chance! Not wanted.
STOP!
But the voices in my head don’t stop… they never stop. Of course these voices aren’t just in my head.
No wonder I don’t sleep.
I ask you to love me, protect me. This is your job isn’t it? Instead you […]
I’m falling apart and I’m so sick of trying, I’m so fucking sick of it, because I’m fighting so hard and I have been for so long but things are only getting worse no matter what I do.
I’m 17 and this shouldn’t be happening. I’ve been clinically depressed for over a year now, been self harming for a while, and have an eating disorder (bulimia). I’ve taken 2 overdoses in the past and have been admitted to hospital for 1 of these. I’ve also been admitted another 2 times for suicidal ideation/self harm. So that’s my story I guess.
My […]
I really want to cut.. Anything to numb the pain. I’d kill just to be able to find a single blade.. Anyone know any other ways besides razor blades? I’m just.. Really sick of everything. I’d rather cope this way, than any other way. My depressions been way too crazy lately. Help me out anyone?
I have suddenly become so incredibly numb and exhausted. I want to scream and cry, but I just can’t. I just want to feel something real, I’m so tired of apathy and exhaustion.
In an attempt to feel something, I just started attacking my thigh with a small blade. I find it quite beautiful, the way to begin with there’s just a dent in the skin, but then it gradually rises before drops of blood begin to surface. My thigh is now covered in short cuts and I like the messy zigzagging. It’s the only way I can think to represent how I feel. I […]
Words and whispers I can’t get to leave my head
The voices call; they want me dead
The asylum grows closer as I grow colder and the threat of pills stays my hand’s blade
One more mistake is all it takes to send me back, and kill my hopes of moving forward.
 My school work, my  job, it’ll all be over.
 Medicines will consume me, taking over my mind.
No longer will I find pleasure in writing lines or playing rhythms, the ability lost in the crusade of science and therapy.
Trust will be dismissed, me reverting to the life of a prisoner for two weeks then a man on probation for […]
It was a thursday morning walking to school. I was in a very depressed mood. I was hanging around in a corner sitting there trying to figure out were the next weapon i can get to.  Walking to my first hour hanging around my friend Jared. When i spotted a pencil sharpener (One Of Those Small Personal Ones) My friend snatched it for me I thanked him for getting it for me. Next period comes and i had dismantled the sharpener and was using it on my arm then he was nudging me saying to “knocked it off”.  I stop for the period when i went to third period sitting in the back seat with it […]
when u have so much to say but nothing is coming out your mouth .
when you have so much pain that u cry yourself to sleep .
when you have no family and no friends .
when u stay inside while other teens are out having a blast .
when u look in the mirror and are unhappy .
when everyone does you grimey .
when your misunderstood and nobody understands .
when u feel alone .
when u feel like u have no purpose on earth anymore .
when u cant stop cutting your arm .
is like the blade is your bestfriend .
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
I can’t go on anymore. Â The pain is to much for me to handle, no one wants me, my mother kicked me out, my father is on the brink. My life is just lies. LIes about school, love, and health. I am not fine…so why do I keep saying I am? I am broken and bruised the only way I feel anything is when the cool metal of the blade touches my skin, I promised I would stop. I can’t .
Death th constant in my life- thoughts,actions,success- my goal, my one and only goal
Hey, so i’m here sitting on my chair… barely moved all day, I smell, I’m hungry but i don’t want to eat. I don’t deserve that. Food. Life. I am sitting here imagining grabbing the blade from my room, or a knife. yes a knife would cut better. Cuttung my veins, letting my blood spurt around me. I know what i’d think then. “Finally, this is it” then a breathe of relief and nothingness. Such a heavy feeling, hard to move. Hard to think Of anything but that. The end.
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