I will be killing myself. This is not a debate and I am certainly not interested in hotlines or psychiatrists. I came to this site for advice on how to go about this. I know how the act will be done, that is set in stone. My concern is over suicide notes, I am choosing to end my life for my own reasons. I am aware I am well loved and I love all of those people back, but this decision was made for me. Therefore I feel the urge to leave a suicide note. I do not know what to include in this note […]
Tag:
blame
(Hey guys i know this aint really suicide help related but I wrote this based on my exs new gf and I thought for those of us going through a hard time this would be a good laugh. Enjoy!)
To my ex’s New Girlfriend:
So my ex boyfriend dumped me and ended up going out with you. So from woman to woman I thought I would write down a few things you might wanna know about him.
Fantasy: Expect him to stay faithful to him in the relationship?
Reality: HA! Good Luck on that one! He ended up cheating on me right before our 1 year anniversary.
Fantasy: Expecting to […]
I go for walks every night at around 11-12 hoping that ill be the next murder victim or poor person in that hit and run you see on the news, i do this because i do want to die but i don’t want the people around me to have to deal with the thought that i committed suicide and there to blame for not making my life better, even though some of them are in fact to blame, I don’t like the thought of moving my problem so i want to die in a way that they know there was nothing they could have done about it […]
Let me start by saying that overall I had a good childhood I alone am to blame for my current situation. My parents were very strict on me when I was young and my father in particular wanted me to play football. He always was disappointed in me. He never thought I was man enough calling me names and cursing at me even though I tried so hard.
My younger brother was his favorite and he did nothing to earn it. He never had to toughen up or try out for football or any of that stuff. My father loved him unconditionally.
Fast forward about ten years […]
I have ‘friends’ who always trying to bring me down. I know they’re a lot smarter than me but they always act like i’m the dumbest. They never compliment over success that i did. They never want any idea from me when we do a group project. I dont know why they’re doing this to me. All I know it starts when they know my first sem result( didnt turn out good). And I’m starting to blame myself – why i’m just stupid. I never want this to happen. Now they barely talk to me. well fuck you bitches
So I went to a shrink today and he asked me about my dating history and said that being alone may cause loneliness. No shit, Sherlock.
I’ve been single for two and a half years, but I had trust issues before the last girl I dated and she turned out to be a cheating whore. You can’t blame me for refusing to trust anyone. The shrink said my sense of self worth would probably be better if I started dating, but I’m uglier than a Chinese Crested and I have no social skills. It’s not like I’m incapable of being alone, I’m pretty fucking good at […]
So many people forgot about Wendy O Williams. I didn’t! Wendy, it’s so sad that you had to take your life. I can’t blame you! This world is controlled by such evil assholes! Someday I will get to leave this stupid world and join you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuQLyDv7uO4
Most people in this world are such phony, pretentious back stabbing fucking scum, I look to people like Beavis and Butthead for hope and inspiration! Beavis and Butthead ain’t perfect, but at least they are honest! Not only that, they are sleazy and they are funny! There are only a few decent people in this world. A few. Very few! […]
If kill myself, my dad will blame my mom. Scream at her “You were supposed to be the one watching after her” followed by how he has two jobs, followed about how she doesn’t have a job, about how she should have read the signs, how she was always in the way and the lies will spew on and on until she is sick and lonely and miserable. He will make it all about him and then, with his room locked, he will let my message of how much of a failure as a father he is finally hit him.
I wish suicide was like disappearing, […]
I was told today that my parents want to take me out for lunch sometime next week.
Well, less of they want me to, more of I have to go with them.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less. I hate leaving the house now. Scratch that, I hate leaving my bedroom. It’s pathetic.
Well, if all goes to plan, they won’t be able to take me out, except in some weird Weekend at Bernie’s style escapade.
And of course I’ve added all of this to the cumulative message I will send him. I feel like he needs […]
Ten people in my world have succeeded – that double edged word – in destroying themselves. Father, cousin, nephew, friends, teacher, aunt. Two drownings, two by gunshot, two by hanging, one by jumping, three by medication/suffocation. Broken worlds left behind, but I know the abyss to well to blame any of them. Four men and a boy, five women. Ages 14 to 90. Into the dark. Never, ever far from my mind.
Just an average girl,
She always wore a smile
She was cheerful and happy for a short while.
Now she’s older, things are getting colder
Life’s not what she thought,
she wished someone had told her.
She told you she was down
And you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside
She told herself she was alright
But she was telling white lies
Can’t you tell, look at her dull eyes
Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
But she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
Summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves
‘Cause those cuts on her wrist were bleeding through you see
She knew she was […]
My mother’s boyfriend hanged himself ten months ago.
I didn’t saw him, but for ten months, I’ve been having nightmares every single night. About him, or about hanging myself. I still think about him every day.
Things were really bad before he killed himself. But now, he just left a hell.
He was a good man. He was generous and kind. But he just cared to much about everything. Any small critic, any argument would drown him. Every thing that he couldn’t afford would make him anxious.
Yes, he was depressed, but no one thought that he was suicidal. And one morning… the surprise.
I try not to blame him. […]
I miss you. I try not to think about you because when I do I think about all the fucked up mistakes I made in my depression and I can’t blame anyone but myself. I knew what I was doing and for some reason I did it anyway. I loved you. I loved you so very much and I chased you away. I destroyed our relationship and I hate myself for it. Sometimes I want to reach out to you, to try an apologize, to make amends. I can’t ever bring myself to do this though. If I do I’m just bringing back terrible memories. […]
Yeah it doesnt really help to have people posting saying only I can solve my problems. NO offense, but I know that. Im trying to express pain. Do you have ptsd from being sexually abused, do you know the myriad number of symptoms? mine was so bad i ended up on the street. my flesh is battered and worn from years of trauma. i want off disability, out of this cold and triggering hellhole where i live right now in new england, no bus on the weekends, last two cars i had more or less blew up, old and worthless after a few short months, […]
weight
Im 28 and have suffered with depression for the past 12 years,i can’t blame a shitty childhood or lack of family support because that would be lie.i have a good job and friends who try to be a there for me buts its getting harder and harder to live behind this maskmask and when people say what do you have to feel down about the mask gets pulled tighter. I’m being crushed by the weight of my inability to get this monster out of my life.iv tryed all the usually stuff medication therapy not seems to work for longer than a few weeks,I’m now using […]
Last night my boyfriend broke up with me. If you’ve read my last post then you would know how much pain I’m probably in. I know why he left even though he didn’t specifically tell me. It’s because I was simply too depressed. I was too much to handle for him. I don’t blame him for leaving because I would too if I were him. I don’t really see a point in living. I understand that it sounds stupid of me for saying that, but so what? I understand that there are “more fish in the sea” but he was the one with me through everything. […]
I feel like someone else i don’t like looking at myself i hate everything i do. i miss her dearly i hate that we are separated. i wish i could be happy. i think about killing myself but that wont help get her back. i try hanging out with friends but nothing helps. i dont get sleep anymore. i wish you loved me back. i wish you cared about me. sometimes i get so angry i hit myself. i blame all of our problems on me. i miss you daisy….. i want you here with me having fun. but your out there talking to someone. […]
Listen. Your life may be bad and you may feel like your drowning in a pit of constant fear and hate and you’re struggling to reach the surface once again but honestly, you’re perfect. If you’re a size Plus or an extra small, small chested or big chested, blonde or brunette, blind or deaf; you’re beauty is a unique creation and there’s not another one like it. So try not to tear it open, even if it’s hard to live in. If you die, yes you’re out of your misery but even those who keep silent about you will blame themselves and create a chain reaction. It […]
Maybe this is my suicide note, maybe it’s not. I don’t know yet. I’m tired of feeling like there isn’t enough for me. I feel like I’m an accidental extra. I’m somebody’s mistake that they didn’t feel like taking care of. Almost 19 years ago two stupid idiot drug addicted teens decided they wanted a baby. 19 years later here I am wishing they hadn’t.
I will admit that right now there are a lot of things for me to be happy about.. but I think I’m too far gone. Too apathetic to them. It’s not enough. I try so hard to hold on to them. […]
I just had a friend tell me that it takes on average 3-6 months for someone to get a new job. I was fired on November 20th and have been on 11+ interviews with only one offer and it was for something I didn’t feel safe doing. I’m not even having the suicidal car crash fantasies but I ache right now. I see a therapist in about a week for an intake appointment and then maybe in a month I’d see a new psychiatrist for a med adjustment, but I know I need to go to the hospital. I just promised my husband that I’d […]