I’m sixteen and just recently got caught shoplifting. I’m so stupid. I have one of the highest gpas in my school, play a varsity sport, and successfully take the hardest APs at my school but I threw everything away with this one mistake. My parents blame themselves when it’s all my fault not theirs. They barely make enough to support our family yet I selfishly cost them more so that I can get an attorney in hopes that this won’t remain on my record. If this stays on my record I don’t have any chance of going anywhere in life and all that stress and […]
Tag:
blame
I’ve been swimming upstream my whole life. Nothing was ever given to me, no brakes, no guidance, no chance. I’m middle aged now with 2 teens and a wife. I have no job and have been looking since April. Credit is bad, no savings, and I’m over qualified for the “regular” jobs. I get bored out of my mind with work and am on a spiritual mission. I’ve prayed and asked for truth for all mankind, a unselfish prayer for a long time now. The world is filled with violence and seems that it is filled with selfishness. This life is absolutely unreal, if there […]
its all too real, the pain inside my head. the nauseating,sickly voice telling me to do it. It hard to not tune it out without first listening to what it has to say. I feel like…i feel exhaused honestly. tired and sick of trying so hard when ill forever be two steps behind everybody else. Whats the points of putting so much effort when it goes unnoticed?
Is life suppose to be like this? a cycle of working breathing living, eating, sleeping thats it. Thats not something id be willing to make a life out of. I want to be happy and i want to take […]
A lot has been changing in my life lately.  With all the treatment shit and then I got a therapist.  I don’t really know if the therapy helps.  Professional help is just not my  thing.  Lately I haven’t been feeling like myself.  I haven’t been on here for weeks and it’s like a large chunk of my life is missing as odd as that sounds.  I thought I had come to a point where I didn’t have to rely on SP anymore, truth is, it has made me half of who I am.  I feel like I’m going crazy, god damn it.  At least crazier […]
Why? Is all I think. why did this have to happen to me? Why is all this happening? What am I alone? Why am I so hated? I don’t even know why I try sometimes. I try talking to ‘friends’ so I can be occupied with something. But it’s not like they care for me. They most likely would rather me gone than bothering them. I don’t blame them. I mean, who wants to associate with a worthless monster anyway..
“Life is what happens while you’re busy trying to fix RSI.” (repetitive strain injury) [this is actually paraphrased]
Now substitute “RSI” with whatever you haven’t been able to fix or change, regardless of who is at fault or to blame. It could be paralysis or disease or heartbreak, or even chronically reduced self-esteem, due to an abusive childhood, or even just “bullying.” It could even be that you simply realized that humanity seems to embrace and prioritize the most absurd things and notions, and even decides to mandate injustice and tyranny into “law.”
To simplify:
“Life is what happens while we’re busy trying to fix what went wrong […]
Here I am again, didn’t kill myself, pretty sure I won’t, but I’m already dead. Told God to leave me alone today, told Satan to take a hike too. How stupid is belief in God? I lay blame at his feet, I try to shame him by saying I would never treat my children they way he treats me, fact is, I do, I ignore the true needs of my son and he is lost just like me. My wife mocks me, says I need help, all I see is a bobble head when she talks and I hate her. I’m numb, dead inside, I […]
…People think I’m sad. They always do. And I don’t blame them – I used to be sad a lot. I suffer from bipolar disorder, and I’ve had a few rough times in life, such as sexual abuse as a child, and my sister’s death a few years back. I’m currently 16, and with gcses added to the stress of, well, living…I hate it.
If I’m honest, I’m only still alive because I can’t bear the thought of leaving my girlfriend behind. Of never seeing her again. She’s also the only reason I keep it together – I have to. You know that line from Frozen, […]
“People pontificate, “Suicide is selfishness.” Career churchmen like Pater go a step further and call in a cowardly assault on the living. Oafs argue this specious line for varying reason: to evade fingers of blame, to impress one’s audience with one’s mental fiber, to vent anger, or just because one lacks the necessary suffering to sympathize. Cowardice is nothing to do with it – suicide takes considerable courage. Japanese have the right idea. No, what’s selfish is to demand another to endure an intolerable existence, just to spare families, friends, and enemies a bit of soul-searching.â€
Well, been with this girl for the past 4 years. The most amazing girl, did everything she can to me, gave me all the love that she could. Everything was perfect.. A few months ago though, I got bored, and ended up cheating, and told her. The girl I cheated with had gotten pregnant.. Of course, my gf left me. Told me if she knew it wasn’t mine then maybe we could work through it. Well that was 2 weeks ago, I get a call this morning saying the baby didn’t make it. So I called her and she said “well that was last week, […]
I had a panic attack today I never experienced anxiety till this month. It’s been atleast one eveeday now. It really started with a subtle paranoia the small thought that maybe ill fail maybe my friends are lying to me. Now it’s become completely out of hand. I’m encased in lies and dangerous things and I’m afraid to make a move because I’ll fail I know I will. And all the while the spiders that spin their webbed lies that I used to call friends race on without me. I can’t blame them I never let them see my panic […]
It’s a shame that it had to be this way
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry
Maybe I’m to blame
Or maybe we’re the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
~Secondhand Serenade; Goodbye
I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you
It’s not like that at all
~Avril Lavigne; Wish You Were Here
And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye
~A Great Big World; Say Something
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough
For you, for my friends, for anyone
I didn’t know much […]
im a 15 year old boy. yea before i continue i know im young for this kind of stuff. but to the point i hate my life. i always put asid my need to help someone else and get nothing for that. ive watched my best friends die right infront of my eyes. and i still blame myself of there deaths. i lost the love of my life. to my friend… and i just feel like.nobody cares. i hate my life. ive run away from home 8 times. longest ive been.gone is near a year. and ive ettempted suicid. many. many times. i just feel […]
“I loved you. I still do.” Tears run down her face and drop from her cheeks. She looks at the lifeless body, the closed eyes and takes one hand, as she used to. It feels cold and limp. “Do you remember as a child, when you came running towards me, jumped on my lap and gave me long hugs whenever I wasn’t feeling well? Now, when I need you the most, you are not even here to hold my hands.” Her voice was weak and she stuttered, but she knew he could hear her. It was then when she noticed how peaceful he looked, as […]
As I sit here crying, in pain. My chest hurts and I feel like absolute shit. You lay there sleeping with not a care in the world for everything taking a toll on me. You say I push you. It’s always me. Always me pushing you. And maybe I do. Maybe I’m the reason for everything horrible that you blame me for. But as I sit here, I think about how much I want to tell you that you’re pushing me. I’m so near to giving up. I never felt so alone. I can’t go to you because you’ll judge me. You’ll tell me I’m […]
I tried so, but nothing worked properly.I don’t mind, not anymore.I did everything I could, I did my best but it wasn’t enough.I’m not mad.I’m ok.I know it’s not my fault.I’m so small.I’m just a tiny stupid spot in this infinitely big and stupid universe.I’ll commit suicide.I’m not the first and I won’t be the last one.I’m just a me.I’ll be just one more.I recognize my smallness and my insignificance and I accept them with a stupid smile on my face. 🙂
Just what the fuck do you want?! Whatever I do, or do not do, I am damned in your sight, a blight, a failure, a mistake. How would you feel if I had come home in a box? You want everyone to think you’re so loving, compassionate, dutiful but the truth is, you’re a *****. You piss everyone around you off, you have no tact, no filter, and yet whenever I imply such you say, “you’re the only one that thinks that!” LIKE HELL I AM!
I don’t care any longer what anyone says to you. After nearly 1/4 century of living with your bullshit, I’m […]
I really don’t know what to do I am
in a such a bad way mentally right everything is getting on top of me and I cannot cope with anymore shit. Every time I am in one of these low moods my parents blame and tell me to get over it, my grandma fellas to constantly pull myself together, my friend keeps telling me to call crisis and when i do I get nothing then he suggests I call Rachel or Jenny my cpn and mental health worker. I am in such a bad way right now I feel like actually ending it as as the […]
My criminal law professor asked. Most of my classmates were silent, while the two or three debaters exploded at each other over that question.
Their voices were tuned out as I pondered this predicament; what would it be like to be murdered? I have been raped before, and I know of the pain that comes along with it, externally and internally. But to be free from this hell by someone else’s hand? Would that be a viable option?
My family would have someone to direct their blame, instead of blaming themselves for my death. The murderer would have gotten their frustration out, and I would be free […]
I feel like somedays I can hide my depression, but lately I just can’t seem to send it away.
Apparently I’m a fake, wannabe because I try to be something I’m not, happy.
I can’t be happy, no matter how hard I try. It’s hard to not burst into tears in front of my parents,
in front of my friends. I just don’t want them to get involved, yet it’s all beginning to be too much.
I will deal with my problems; they can deal with their own. Even though I just want to fall asleep
and never wake up. Just so they […]