Hi, I dont know who to talk to or who to open up to because my pain is my pain. And no one can ease that pain. I sit here and I think that the people that said they love me or care for me but where are they now. It’s true, I’m going to be alone and no one to cry to or tell me we are going to get through this together. W hy have these men come into my life and took that one thing I CHERISHED. Therevare times whereby I just want to find that one blade that will end my […]
Tag:
Brain
She fell apart over a small error
She lives her life, filled with terror.
She cuts her skin, like it’s paper.
People try, but no one can save her.
She can tie a noose.
She can get a gun.
She can find a knife.
And she’d be gone.
She could drown in a tub.
She could OD on drugs.
She could defy gravity.
But she’s no coward.
So she sits in her head.
Dreaming of dead.
wishing to go.
wanting it to be so.
And so she will wait.
And she will take the pain.
She will stay sane.
As the world goes insane.
Ever […]
im alive, im breathing,yeah. but i feel dead inside. there’s this empty place where my heart should be. i try to hold on so so hard for those who’d care. i know that some care,even if its just a few. some really try to help me, in every way possible,but obviously noone can tell my brain to stop talking. my mind continuously haunts me,my thoughts are impossible to escape. and i dont like the demons in my head. i don’t know how much longer i can handle being in my own skin,i’ll never be able to explain why i feel this way but i do. […]
I feel no different from a dead person. Even though much of the things that happn to me are normal, my brain is not. I’m getting tired of trying to fight. That’s the least I could do for the people who care about me. Like today, I just feel empty and flat. I do normal things and react to situations like any other regular person would. But everythings feels so distant from me. It’s like I’m living but not feeling. It’s like I’m here but I’m not really here. Just like a dead person.
How long can I stay like this? If I die now, will […]
This is mental torture. My brain wont allow positive feelings and pleasures, it rejects them like foreign territory. It is not used to positivity so it doesnt know what to do with it. It teased me by making me feel confident and excided and content and motivated for a very short time then slaps me back in the face and replaces these good feelings with guilt anxiety paranoia saddness bordome and fear. It feeds these thoughts into my mind virtually automaticly , thoughts like “you are undeserving to feel content, get praise, . You are a bad person your doing it all wrong, you cant […]
I want this to stop….I’ve trawl thru sites trying to find the way out to no avail, I am a wimp, scared of pain, 34 and have attempted overdose with sleeping tablets, anti-d’s and recreational drugs, I drink yes but not to excess for I hate the hangover! pathetic but I try to be happy and just get on, it gets harder every night to stay sane….daytime is good I have my distractions, but at night when its quiet that when the brain starts telling me to get out, just do it it, once its done that is it, nothing, all gone, I want help, […]
I don’t feel like proof-reading this. Sorry if there are any errors or unclear ideas in this text.
I’m suicidal. I’ve wanted to end my life for several years, though I’m only 19 years old. I’ve been institutionalized twice, but I only had a short recovery after both. The medication they gave me stopped working, but things got drastically worse when I stopped taking them. Now I’m back on anti-depressants and mild neuroleptica. They worked wonders for about a week, but now I’ve gradually become more and more depressed and chaotic (in my mind).
Why is it like this? Why am I so fricking depressed all the […]
Before this post is removed, I hope someone can help me find the information I need. For the SP Moderator, whenever you swoop in, technically I am writing about my suicide story. It just hasn’t happened yet. Foreshadowing technically counts as a literary technique. I’m writing the introduction to my story. If Shakespeare was allowed to give away the ending of Romeo and Juliet, why can’t I?
Of all the methods I have (not efficiently) researched and heard discussed, the one most obtainable and suitable for me would be a bullet through the brain. However, as an incompetent, sheltered teenager, I don’t even know how to buy […]
Currently we are studying the cold war in my history class, I think about how a war was never really fought. I realize that the fight between my heart and my brain is like the cold war except I am the only casualty my body and soul take a beating every day while my mind battles what my heart desperately wants…the sweet relief of death…the adrenaline caused by the blade and the worry that I will soon be caught…
I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]
Hello and I am here to share my suicide story! Thinking about suicide is a big part of my life and it is hard that I am not allowed to talk about it. I am a man and I am turning 30 next month.
I remember I was first thinking about suicide when I was 9. I was not thinking about it as something I would like to do. I was just thinking about it with curiosity.
By the time I was 15 I was feeling suicidal. I remember I was living in a suicidal fantasy most of the time. I couldn’t stop imagining horrible ways that […]
Anorexia.
Am I really fat?
Or is that just ED?
Body Image.
Am I really ugly?
Or is that just in my head?
Self Harm.
Cutting is always on my mind.
I know it’s bad, but I can’t stop.
Help.
I try to tell others to be strong.
Meanwhile, I’m breaking down.
Death.
I enjoy watching strangers being tortured.
I’m sick in the brain.
These are the reasons why I am insane.
Recovery.
Everyday is a struggle.
Must not turn back. I’m too strong now!
It all hit me. I was at coffee with my friend, and all of the sudden it all hit me – the depression, the urge to kill myself, for all of this to end.
I have no purpose, I see no tomorrow, I see no future. I just want to die, so fucking badly.
I’m living but I don’t feel like I am. I just want to fucking die! Why can’t I? Why can’t some car hit me and I’d die? Why can’t something happen and my life would end? I have no purpose. I feel like a puppet doing stuff only because I am told I […]
It’s getting easier and easier to pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Thinking about suicide used to vaguely panic me somewhere in my brain, whereas now it’s more of a comfort. It feels familiar. I like reminding myself that it is an option.
I’m going to go to the GP and tell him i’m not sleeping. I’ll keep the sleeping tablets in my room just in case. I just need to know I have them there.
Part of me thinks I should try and fix my head while I’m still not immediately wanting to die right now. Most of me can’t see the point. I wish […]
I see people on here postinq poems and sonqs.Well here’s Houston’s finest.Not your type of sonq,ssssoooo.Listen to what there actually sayinq.
Z-ro My Story
Yo man,what’s up Ro man you trippinq son.Put the qun down dawq It ain’t even worth all that man let’s talk about […]
I know a girl. She always had two sides to her.
The Outside; She was pretty, happy, loving. She always put her friends first, did everything she could to help them, always had a smile and a hug set aside for anyone who needed it. She had hopes and dreams for a future, she had a loving boyfriend, who was dedicated to her. She always told the truth when it came to other people, even when she knew it would hurt. She always found the brighter side of everything. She had good grades, she had every talent, she was amazing.
The Inside: She hurt. She couldn’t cry, so she […]
If you saw me you wouldn’t look twice, but I am not like you or anyone you know. I was bullied for being fat and having glasses. When i was 13 I slit my wrists in the bathroom. I passed out, woke up a few hours later then went to school the next day. I still have scars. I went to live with my father who would fight with my step-mom every night. Now, my father is dead, drank himself to death. My mother has a druggie boyfriend, my brother is drinking now. I just would rather be on the street than be here anoter […]
My Name is Markus Jolley, also I go by MJ. I have tried at least 12 attempts of suicide, all failing, and now all I have is myself. I have no family, and I live in a group home for troubled or stranded youth. When I did have a family, I developed differently than any other kid my age. The Tests for mental instability or disorders started when I was 5. I went through medical tests over and over, until an MRI was ordered on my brain. It turned out that I had Frontal Lobe Gliosis which looks like this. http://www.ajnr.org/content/24/2/218/F3.large.jpg
This Problem explained my functioning […]
I rather die now rather then later, i have thought of death since i was 5 or so and thought of ways to go to do the deed, i am 24 now . I was married for 3 years to my highschool sweetheart. I work at a hospital and love the place. I am mostly known as a bright , outgoing happy go lucky girl, but I much rather die. There is this pain that I am always surrendered to, a feeling of almost bliss when I surrender that yes its my time to die. I feel calm and the pain seems to make since […]
For ten years I’ve messed around with my brain. I was never happy and I’m still not. I’ve lost almost everything that matters.
Last night I woke up screaming. I was asleep, had JUST fallen asleep, and in my ‘dreams’ I was talking on the phone when I had a seizure. It felt so real. I fell forward, unable to reach the phone just staring at it. Finally I screamed. And that woke me up. This happens all the fucking time.
I laid there and I realized, the dreams really aren’t that bad. Even that terror that I feel at the last minute before the screaming wakes me, at […]