Well, I was totally breaking down. Maybe a couple days away from ending it all and you caught me. You found me..even though I know i’m not good enough for anyone, you make me feel like i’m good enough for you. Havent been on here in a couple of days and I’m on here again because my ex boyfriend depresses me. But you’ll text me and ask what’s wrong, and make things better. I’d hate to think where I’d be if I hadn’t met you.
It just seems a bit too good to be true…and that would break me completely.
Tag:
Break
I am getting so fucking sick of myself.
Why can´t I ever break this cycle of selfdestruction?
I keep telling my guy that it’s getting harder & harder to not end my pain. I am flustered and short tempered with him bc I want him to help me, I want someone to see that I do not attempt I have been talking about it for a long time, that when I try I will in fact die. I have these reels of rapes and hurt, abandonment, success then failure that just play in my head and I cannot get them to stop. I did a program for PTSD and I use to be some hot shot CEO, but it’s like… I still […]
NOTHING IS WORTH IT.
. LIFE
. DREAMS
. HOPE
Everything seems pointless
Everyone looks uncaring
Reality is rude and unbreakable
Illusion is even ruder and unreal
LIFE IS POINTLESS, UNCARING, RUDE,
Dreams are ruder because they are just unreal
And my hope can get hopeless so don’t break it.
Ive actually forgotten how to be happy, how to actually smile and mean it instead of pretending i mean it, I’m so used to pretending im happy that i dont actually no how to anymore 🙁
I try and do the things that i love doing, talking to people who i love talking to but nothing seems to work, i just dont no how to be happy anymore, if im ever happy i literally lasts for about 5mins and then its like im back to reality again! Today i went to see my nan and there was loads of trouble down there and today i realized […]
I’m so sick and tired of being left behind.
I don’t really no how to describe it. I am just done with everything.
No one really knows how upset I am. I’ve never told anyone why I am like this. Most people, don’t notice how depressed I am. It’s starting to take it’s toll on me though. I stay up until 4am daily now, get as much sleep as I can, repeat. I am constantly tired because I just, don’t… do anything. I mope around my house. The only things i’ve been able to think about today, is how horrible my life is compared to […]
You know what? Its spring motha-fukin break, and I might as well enjoy it cause its gonna be my last. I wanna leave those around me with atleast one good memory. i owe them that much. in somewhere around thirty days, ill be dead. Hopefully. So self loathing is gonna take a back seat while i put a smile on my damn face and act like im normal. Normal…why cant i be normal?? Why? Why? WHY? to many fucking questions and absolutely no answers.
Goodnight/Morning and the best to you all
Have you ever…
Laid on your bed at night and just cried?
Cried because you’re stupid, because you just aren’t good enough.
Cried harder when you’ve counted all your flaws from head to toe, to the point where you’re in so much pain, physical pain feels better.
Cried because the things your friends tell you or call you sarcastically actually hurt sometimes…
Cried because your family is dysfunctional, but you’re just a kid who can’t do shit about it.
Cried as they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself when a lot of people have it worse than you.
Cried because you don’t want to be a burden and contribute to […]
Hi just broke up with bf…we were toether for three years
i don’t know what to do now…i feel like back to him but he will treat me sh** again…
he was the only one who knew about my major depression..and also that i don’t take medications yet due to some personal reason…but he always blamed me..this time he said that he don’t feel the love no more..because i am moody all the time..and i said i am sorry but his reply was “i don’t care”
so did i do right by breaking up with him? its no doubt that i still love him like there is no […]
I feel the way I feel because I feel nobody loves me butt it I probably not true at all I just now made this because I have to tell Simone guess how old I am? Ian only 13 and my parents are probably going to break up it I manly because of all of the stress going on in all of our family like from my dads side of the family everyone one of his sisters just broke up with each other so there children are staying with us and they just cry and cry and cry one is 13 months old he crys […]
I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I […]
i am 15 years old and living in ireland my story begins when i was only a todler mabye 2 years old growing up with my weed smoking dad he had serious anger problems and because of this he scared me for life im not able to go to school and be with teachers who shout because i only break down in tears and because of this every 1 at school laughs at me meaning that i have no friends 13 years later and still have no friends i have also discovered that i have epolepsy as i am always shaking i cant go to […]
I can’t get my feet up off the edge, I kinda like the little rush you get, When you’re standing close to death, Like when you’re driving me crazy….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
this is what i sent to lauren earlier, it might not make much sense to your guys but its basically wha happened to me today….:/ <3
‘Ok…. So Mr Gregory tried to make me talk to Una when you left, I refused to step into her office, and then Lydia turned up…. I started to break down at this point. We all then went to sirs office and Miss Gentry was there, she said that if it was just about earlier then I should just go back to lesson, Lydia walked me to art and asked Miss Glover if she could take me to talk about […]
im crushed. im hurt. ive hit rock bottom.im screaming for help but no one cares no one is listening.
written by thegirlwhocryedwolf
I very much hope that at least one person
in the entire world reads this,because
it would make me feel as though someone
somewhere gives one single flying fuck about me.
I did a stupid thing I put my heart out there
and ended up getting crushed
So here’s the story is:
Jasmine, her boyfriend James,and his brother Nick where having a
sleep over at jasmines house.They only invited Nick because
Jasmine thought I would come over to keep him company.
He had recently been dumped and he was a bit sad.
But I was at my dads house for the weekend.
So since Nick felt like a third wheel James asked if I would […]
Wow, its been a long 35 years. This story started along time before I was born. Lets start with a US Marine who had one too many tours in vietnam, my mothers stepfather( my spelling is really bad sorry) Not sure if it ws the war or just an inate evil, the man that is still alive, did horrible things to my mother and my aunt. My mother and father were married in in the early 70s thing were great for both of them until 1980, my dad recked his truck on the way homefrom work, broke his neck, never walked again, full quad, they […]
I don’t really know what to name this post. By the time I finish posting it’ll be past midnight. At night is when my mind is most active. I think about the same shit over and over and it continually replays in my head. I hate having memories. I have an excel one and I feel cursed by it. I just want to go back in time or start my life completely over. I’ve always felt this way. I can’t envision my future at all. It’s like it isn’t even there. I just wish I could get a break through. Just once i wish something […]
I’m wishing every night
On that “magical” time of day
When the clock strikes11 past 11
I’m wishing for the pain to go away.
I’m wishing for Christmas this year
Not to go awry,
I’m thinking of all the world’s problems
I’m asking God why.
What did they do to be bullied
Or to be given cancer
Why all my desperate prayers
Never quite seem to get answered.
I’m thinking “Why me?”
Then instantly regretting it
Thinking of the other kids
With death and hunger setting in.
They have no food
And they must starve
And I, a selfish man,
Think that my life is hard?
But I cant help wishing
Wanting a perfect life
A life free of the pain
The heartache, the strife.
And all along
My most […]
it all started in 6th grade. i was bullied, my grandpa died, and other stupid stuff. im now in 8th grade, and i have strongly considered suicide around 11 times. couldnt God give me a break?!!?!?!? im only 14!!!!!!!!!! when your heart just feels so overwhelmed that you cant bare it any longer. i put a smile on my face everyday at school. thats just not something you want people to go around knowing. i got two really close friends. i just always felt guilty, them thinking they knew me, but they didn’t at all. they thought i was always happy and bubbly. guilt built up inside […]
At this moment I don’t know what I feel. It’s like my chest is being squeezed. I’m finding it hard to breathe. I can’t find the words to express how I feel, neither do I know how to write about them. My mind is empty, it feels like i can’t think anymore and the only thing I feel anymore is sadness, anger, or hate towards myself.
I never cry in front of people and today I cried in school. In front of a bunch of judgamental hypcrites. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my desire to die is uncontrollable , it emerges at anytime. I […]
My Sister was tailking about when I got sexual abused. She keeps on taunting me. So I just hit her and we was fighting and the street. The neighbors had too break us up. My mom wasn’t here but if she was she would’ve yelled at my sister. Well my sister been making fun of me ever since I was young but since she live and my house I cant avoid her are what she says.