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Brother
If you saw me you wouldn’t look twice, but I am not like you or anyone you know. I was bullied for being fat and having glasses. When i was 13 I slit my wrists in the bathroom. I passed out, woke up a few hours later then went to school the next day. I still have scars. I went to live with my father who would fight with my step-mom every night. Now, my father is dead, drank himself to death. My mother has a druggie boyfriend, my brother is drinking now. I just would rather be on the street than be here anoter […]
here i go again, pathetically begging for some one to give a rats backside if i am here or not.
i keep getting told i have an answer for everything. if i did, do they not think i would be able to help myself.
im nearly 37, have zero friends. a brother too busy to help (3 and a half hours away) a mum who is too busy going out with her friends to care, (4 and a half hours away) have had to move house (broken relationship), can only afford to live in the rough part of town – so dont go out the front door. […]
My son committed suicide after a long time of unbearable mental and emotional anguish. Suicide seemed like a great relief in his mind. A few weeks after he died, we found out that the doctor had been giving him the wrong medicine for all that time and the medicine is known to cause extreme torment of the kind he was feeling. If he had only had his medicine changed, he would have been fine and happy and smiling. His brother had his medicine changed, and now he is happy, though I myself am a resident living in a hospital because of what my son’s death […]
So, the story is: my family and I had as friends another family (my friend, her mom, her dad and her brother) since I was a little baby.
They were like family to me, my friend was like my sister, her brother was like my brother and her parents were like my second parents. They had always treated me VERY well, as part of the family, and so did we, we are all very united.
Problem is: my friend’s dad, in a point in my childhood, had sexually abused me. He didn’t rape me at all, just touched me and had ALOT of physical contact. I never […]
My Papa (Grandfather) has gone to sleep in his room.
My Daddy has the flu, he is laying down in bed.
My mother is working on coupons on the computer across the room.
My second youngest brother is on the couch near me reading a book he got for christmas.
My littlest brother is making mashed potatoes for dinner.
My dog is chewing on a rawhide.
My cat is with my dad.
And I am screaming. Silently shrieking.
My loving family goes on like this. How they cannot see the blade so blatently slashing at my gut I cannot imagine. That they don’t see my insides being […]
I am healing. Bit by bit and slowly. I am regaining the smile I’fe been hiding and ignoring for years.
But I am scared. Still scared.
I am hated and loved, used and cared by people all around. I thought families, blood, adopted, and steps were suppose to care, help, love. I never got that.
From my mother or my step-father. My brother and my birth father were the only ones who cared.
My brother was my protector and my real father was my savior when he took full custody of me. But though healing. I am still scared.
I lost the one man who […]
I found my dadas vodaks and i drunk it drunk it all up. Like the bigger man supossed to be. Hahahahhha, what a *****. he deruves it for lying to me. Don mess with da drugs. i think i did it to stop he from drinking it heself but i cant really focus right mow. meow meow meow. i ment to say now. you know what? being drunk isnt as great as people say. i knocked my lamp over and it cut me. cutting is waaaay butter. and i don know hich site im on but it seems kind of nice. its all purple. I think i […]
I just come across this site and thought I want to contribute.
i have recently got back from hospital after my third attempt to overdose. As a child my parents were violent and drug abusesers, I was in care for a while made homeless twice by my mother. Beaten, emotionally abused. I lived with an auntie for a big chunk of time who also abandoned me at 13. My dad left the house when I was 16 leaving me to look after my 14 year old brother. My mum come out of prison and set the house on fire. As I have grown up I have […]
My name is Abbigaile Alexandria Mareeh Knight. This is my story.
Some parts have been editied out due to length and time.
I was born during the blizzard of 1993 in Raleigh, North Carolina. I’m the middle of four children, three remaining. I don’t remember much from my childhood other than battling a disease that required me to stay away from playing and doing normal things that children do, The only “sport” was able to do was ballet.I resented it, as well as the pageants that my mother forced me to do. I was living in the small town of Dublin, North Carolina. I met several close, […]
ok so my best friend is 13 and beautiful shes smaler bulit, blonde hair blue eyes and an amazing smile. she was happy most of the time and always was talking about twiight she was all about the cullens and she went to a normal middle school and had friends who cared and loved her, but she didnt see that, she saw her self so much differnt, i know this site is for kids who are thinking wrong and in a bad place, but if u keep that life up you wll be in the same stop that kaitie is in.. gone, dont get me […]
8 months feeling this loneliness, I feel that the more it goes on the more my worthlessness shows. I have no one I can call a brother, not even my own. It doesn’t matter how many people I am around, I will always and forever feel alone. I start to see why, I’m worthless scum, needy for attention, at the same time I really just want a really close friend. Someone who we can be there for each other. Seems impossible at this point, I don’t see why I haven’t already just ended it. I’m stuck on the thin thread on staying and leaving this world, super-glued and hanging upside-down. I […]
Erggghhh! Why the fuck am i still here?! I’m sorry but i need to get this out, and it won’t be the same if I dont swear.
Im going to admit this now, I’ve told No one this ever. But fuck it, let’s tell a bunch of strangers! I’ve been screwed up since birth. I was born witha type of arthritis in my joints, so walking, crawling, sports, all of it was painful. Eventually people noticed I wasnt like everyone else. I’ve been bullied ever since I entered those school gates. But i was too nice, and no innocent […]
I can’t get this feeling to go away. I feel bitter, I feel lost, I feel helpless.. I want to drink myself into a coma. I try so hard to make everyone happy even though everything is literally falling apart all around me. My best friend’s sister died 3 months ago in a drunk driving accident, she was 19.  even though we weren’t that close, she was still like an older sister to me. and I have never seen someone so young and so beautiful be so still and so lifeless. she didn’t even look like herself at all.. it haunts me everyday, all I can […]
I was physically abused by my brother until I was 16 and left home. I admitted it to my parents, with whom I have always been very close with 3 years ago.
They claim to believe me. The claim to back me up. But after my last suicide attempt, after 3 days in 4 points in the ICU, when sent to the psych ward..they promised me certain things.
You see I uprooted my entire life on the West Coast to move back to the Midwest and help care for my sick father. He’s very young, only 65. But has a host of degenerative diseases. I went from […]
Everyday all I want to is cry. Nothing has every really worked out for me. My mother has gotten breast cancer twice and my brother is stuck with a chronic disease for the rest of his life. I can’t trust anyone because they are all judgemental fucks especially church, the one place you would expect to feel free and even there there is no peace. Only a bunch of hypocrites. I can’t talk to anyone that’s why I’m writing here, I can’t tell anyone how I feel in person I just seem to burden them. I tried to overdose on pills but it did nothing, […]
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]
Well let me begin from the beginning…I was born in Ukraine and moved here when i was four with my parents and my brother, i learned English and life was great even though we were poor. Then we moved to a little town with a little school and life gradually started getting worse by the day, we had financial problems and my mom went to school when I was in the 9th grade, so she was always stressed and she would put all her anger on my brother and I, but especially on me. I’ve always been on the heavy side, and always have been made fun of […]
so, today i felt like i had to write my suicide note because i was feeling really crappy.  i don’t know if  id ever do it, but i had the biggest urge to tonight. so here it is, just so i could tell someone.
mom, i love you and i always will. you were always there for me, always helped me with anything. but i dont think i could be helped this time. this was my own choice.
i have always wanted to leave. i was always forcing that smile and laugh, just so you thought i was happy. i was never happy. i don’t know […]