I’ve been struggling for a while now, it just feels like there’s only so much one person should have to handle. Some days I’m fine, I get up go to work, do what it is normal people are supposed to do. Most days…most days, I just want to die, not because I’m bored or lonely or crying out for attention; but because I’m tired. I’m tired of slogging through bull shit and being told that I just got dealt a shitty hand and if I stick it out it’ll get better. I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of caring about everyone else and being cared […]
Tag:
Bull Shit
Slowly fading away lost in so afraid where is the hope in a world so cold, life is full of bull shit no one their to listen when you need some1 all I do is just push people away that do try to help, ha I guess im a fck up person been thru so much n still same shit like always, still doing the crazy shit to myself, but people won’t care so why live?? I always ask my self that but all ima do iz just hurt the ppl that loves mi
i have been feeling pretty good after me and my boyfriend got back together he made me feel so happy again and the happiest girl in the world, me and him was all that mattered to me. I got him back and only realized after he moved away this week that i was so dependent on him too make me happy, he is the only reason i want to get out of bed some days! he said he would come back after two months but lets not bull shit our self he is most likely going to stay with his parents alot longer then two […]
i want to rip my hair out and scream i want to cry my eyes out too the point were i can not even see.. i want to just die and watch no one care…. i have been coughing so hard i puke my brains out… i feel horrible…. i feel alone and lost and empty i want to die i want to fall asleep and never wake i am so done right now i am sick of all the bull shit in my life i am sick of all the heart breaks and drama i am sick of being alone all the time i […]
The way I see it us if they are always on your mind mabey they should be there that if it us meant to be then love will find away. i am sick and tired of begging for you i am sick of doing everything that wrks for you no breaks no drama no bull shit just give me a strait up answer do you want to be with me or not. Oh the things i have done for you i am sad and depressed any ideas of how i can end my life quick and easy? Sometimes letting go is the best bet
Everything is easier if you just stop caring, right? It’s easier if you just are alone as often as possible, right?
Then why do I still care? Why do I still check on a daily basis, to make sure my friend didn’t just go. It’s been about 5 days since he last posted. Ususally I wouldn’t be this worried, but his friend just took her own life and I can’t text him to make sure.And  I don’t know why I am suddenly thinking of all of this now. I am a wreck.
I’ve been thinking about it lately. Too much. How easy it would be to […]
every day i wake up and wonder why cant i just sleep forever?. I am 25 years old have been depressed for the last five years. Over that time i have started cutting and have on 2 Â occasions i have tried to end my life. the first time i tried to hang myself but the rope broke. The second time I took a full bottle of Vicodin then then tried to shot myself but i just was not able to pull the trigger, my mind told its ok the pain pills will kill you. I woke up 2 days later. I can see no end […]
I have my blog. But people on there know who i am.. so i need to vent. Here it goes.. I am done with this bull shit. I am trying so hard to stop the hurt.. You know what i honestly want to know when people want to stop my hurt. Because i am right back to were i was in the begging.. I LOVE CUTTTING!! do you fucking people here me.. I love it… so stop making me stop. If i want to stop i will stop!!!. if i want help i will get it.. yesterday i weighed my self i am 141… You […]
I go to a public school but it is a very high-standards school. We take both highschool and college classes at the same time. No, they’re not AP, we actually take them at the local community college. This school is SO stressful, I am just a freshman and almost killed myself in December. Almost all of the juniors are potheads, to deal with their stress. The school is also stereotypical for socially awkward kids but really, we just don’t give a fuck about drama and the social scene. There are about 400 kids total (all of the grade levels 9-12) where the other schools in […]
This is all bull shit. Life in general is bull shit. I had the worst weekend ever and all I got out of it is that life is bull shit. I was tackled to the floor by my parents, I ran away from home, and was threatened to have the cops called on me. All for nothing. My family doesn’t understand me. They understand what I do. I’m soo sick and tired of all this. I’m tired of waking up everyday feeling the same old way and being able to do nothing about it.
I tried killing myself this weekend. Tried hanging myself for the first […]
I dont know where to begin. I was an only child of divorced parents. Both of them remarried when I was 5. My dad and step mom brought  my wonderful brother in this world when I was 7. I was young then so i really didnt see where the attention was going. But as the years came and went and i was around 13 thats when I started cutting myself, in middle school. 8th grade to be exact. I used to lie about it and say that I cut myself on a bush or some bull shit like that. I used anything I could, broken […]
Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]
If you don’t know the short story, look it up…
I’m always alone, or left alone, the people that supposedly care about me, do absolutely nothing to stop this pain. I’m always told to move on with life. WHAT LIFE? I have nothing left, no way to continue education or getting a job, my credit was completely destroyed by my own school, and my education opportunity completely destroyed by my ex. They take everything from me, but I’m not allowed to be angry, or depressed?! They steal money and people’s lives, and I’m not allowed to do anything to fight back? Why do they get rewarded […]
i dont know what to write, say or even think right now. all i know is that i am tired, not in the physical sense although it it exhausting to wake up every morning knowing it is going to be the same bull shit that i have been putting up with to long. medication hasnt helped, mostly because i cant afford to stay on it, hospitals dont work-twice now at least, and friends dont work because nobody wants to be bothered, which is why its called “pity party for one”. I AM DONE. i dont want the attention of fake people saying they care knowing […]