By the rules of society I’m the definition of evil… I want people dead I want myself dead… I want this world to burn away… But only because of the torment me and countless others go through daily… And I’m reminded of how the true monsters are on the other side of the websites, the texts, the notes, the rumors, everything… It’s sad watching others be hurt like that… I’ve gotten used to it but even I lay here everyday and think of how nice the sweet release of death would be… So I’m here to say it’s too hard for me… Soon probably I’ll […]
Tag:
burn
I’m spending the last few days relaxing and writing notes to all my family. I know it might seem crazy because I’m cheerful about dying at 27 years old. I just feel like I’ve experienced all I’ve wanted/needed to experience from this life. It’s time for me to go. It might seem strange to have an upbeat attitude about offing yourself, but maybe that will leave behind a peaceful solution to those in my life who are living stressfully. I bought a bag of charcoal and I’m waiting for the day when my parents and brother aren’t in the house and I’m going to burn […]
Mom:
You ruined my life! Every single day a part of me hated you so much no matter how loud of a laugh you caused to escape my mouth. Your religion opened my eyes to open mindedness because I would never wanna be such a close minded hating Christian like you. I hate myself most of the time because that fact that I’m gay I should be “ashamed.” I must be going to hell some day or at least that’s what you think right. I am going to hell because I was born admiring the same sex and decided to follow a path that is more accepting and […]
Your love left me long ago
But I buried the bricks of this house that your sadness once built,
Though you branded your name into my heart, so I could love no other
I still feel the long lasting burn of our last night,
Your silhouette,
It still has the same effect, but of course you dont know that though
Departed, no grace, should I let you go?
We never could find eachother in the dark,
I guess we were hiding from each others past,
I guess we’re hiding from one another,
We don’t need to run anymore
I dreaded even heaven when it comes to […]
I have a wife and a great mam and dad. I feel selfish for wanting to kill myself as I know it will finish these people. I have tried tablets before and ended up in hospital for a day or so! I was 23 at the time, unhappy with my friends, my job and being lonely! am no longer alone but lately (last two years) I’ve just hit rock bottom. I’ve made it to 32 years old and feel the world as nothing more to show or offer me! I feel emotionless writing these words as I’ve heard them in my head so many times […]
I seriously want to kill myself. More than anything. I said last night that I don’t think I deserved to live and his response was “Who are you to judge who lives and who dies”. Surprisingly that may have just proved how useless I really am. I am much more of a burden than I am worth. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I speak. I hate my unbreakable habits. I wish that at the very least I could cut deep enough to seem legit, but all I am is a superficial, self absorbed, burden on the earth. […]
I’m not secure anymore. My walls were supposed to keep me safe and yet I find I crash and burn. He wasn’t supposed to hurt me. Fathers shouldn’t do that. The abuse, the bullies, the torture…. It’s all too much. I’m not sure how much more I can take
Just a statement I guess. Putting all my stuff in zip locks. Don’t want to have to have people doing that. What would you do with your diaries? A lot of what is in them has potential to cause my family pain. Would you burn them?
so long to all my friends everyone of them met tragic ends with every passing day i be lying if i didn’t say that i miss all to night and if they only knew what i would would say if i could be with you tonight i would sing you to sleep never let them take the light behind your eyes one day ill lose this fight as i fade in the dark just remember you will always burn as bright be strong and hold my hand time becomes us, you’ll understand we’ll say goodbye today and sorry how it ends this way if you […]
I crave you like i crave the sun and the moon
the stars and the cars
i crave you like i crave the earth
the grass and the dirt
i crave you like i crave the love
from here and above
i crave you like i crave the fire
to burn with desire
i crave you like i crave no other
a love that will smother
i crave you like i crave the heat
this grave is complete
i crave you like i crave air
its been ripped despair
i crave you like i crave blood
no one should
I realized that life is comprised of snapshots Which our children will look at one day and reflect upon with wonder.Never knowing, never seeing the internal chaos and outward rioting craziness that filled the days and nights, trying to suppress the void and make sense of the senseless emptiness that is living. They will never know, because by the time they have enter this world we have already moved on from our unsure footing to more stable ground, It will in turn be our job to try and teach them the rights and wrongs, and do our best to prevent them from making our same […]
Empty
Fading
Nothing
Now comes the warm pleasant burn
Drips become trickles
Trickles become waterfalls
Waterfalls become floods
Temporary relief, instant shame
What have I done
I’ve done it again
Always a disappointment
A Bitter sweet sin
Why is this the world I’m stuck in
Daily hell
Nothing but an empty shell
Drown the sorrows
Down another glass
Few more pills, maybe it’ll pass
Completely numb I lay awake
Praying for my soul to take
In your arms I became mercurial writhed like a diamond back in the bleakness of eyes that seemed sulphuric, traveling through me, in me we bathed in incense and the colour of each other danced as though invented for the moment with dark longing breathing eachother in quiet desperation and you were beautiful in your honesty and I multitudes stinging in each movement that we echoed somewhere between lives and I wish I could’ve stayed to burn alive.
Today’s on fire, the sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered.
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day…
And still, like a bad star, I’m falling faster down to him,
He’s the only one who knows, what it is to burn
I feel diseased, ¿Is there no sympathy from the sun?
The sky’s still fire, but I am safe in here, from the world outside.
So tell me, ¿What’s the price to pay for glory?
“Glenfidich, clean.”
“I’m going to have to see an ID. I mean, anyone who orders a Glenfidich probably has drank a time or two in their life, but you look kind of young.”
I flashed my license, she responded in a quick nod and vanished into some back area out of view. My vacant stare scanned the activity of the airport terminal. I had gotten three hours sleep, and in the midst of my loose focus, all of the crowds flowed by in bright blurs.
The cling of the glass behind me signaled the arrival of my best friend. I smiled at the server, nervously nursing the bitter […]
i’m a 17 years girl , muslim , algerian , i will pass my baccalaureat this year , i’m a good student , very shy , never was in a relationship , i follow my religion’s orders , but my life sucks , my parents are married for 21 years , but they hate eachother since their first year , but my mom was very patient for a long time , she expected that my father will treat her well when she have kids or when we grow , and so we’re in hell , each time my father does something unexpectable , unimaginable , […]
My life has not been exactly what you would call easy. I got charged with a rape I never committed at the age of 20. It shall follow me forever as they put me on the sex offenders registry. I honestly did nothing. Life went on and I fell in love. My ex took my kids and now will not let me see them, I stayed single for a long time, finally found love again, she left me for whatever reasons she might have had. Everyone who knows me really doesn’t like me that much. Judgements and all. Everyday I am reminded of just how […]
I’m fucking tired. So tired. Sick of the daily struggle.
Everyday, relentless. It just Dosnt end.
Sitting here, loaded shot gun. I can make it all end. Fuck it why not.
One decent reason I don’t wanna go alone.I fucking hate the lot of you. Every ****. I should take you all with me.
Stuck at a job I hate, get no respect.
The women I love. Toying with me. She asked me if I was gay today. Fuck me.
How did life get so fucked. How did I end up here.
Fuck it, burn in he’ll you pack of miserable cunts.
I’ll meet you there.
can’t cut. made a promise. not that he’d find out. bars. captured. trapped. prison. burn my skin. bubbling. blistering. open. exclamations. under my breath. laughing. you asking. why. makes me better. the panic attacks. stop. fade. breathing. meditation. calming. focusing. on the pain. think it’s stupid. don’t want me to do it. again. scarred. regret. not now. not then.
self-mutilation. punishment. feeling. don’t have time for that shit. oblivious. addicting. no deep. well rehearsed. reason. i need it. simple fact. if i don’t have that. hold it all in. bottle it up. no outlet. nothing. no way to deal. handle. cope. heard that’s unhealthy. and my […]
I can’t sleep again, had to wash down another thorazine. I want to paint the walls red but I know it will get me nowhere but scarred for life however long that spark may live on. I am ruminating on my panic attack earlier this week right in the middle of class, the professor sent me home “sick”, I almost jumped off the roof… But I know better (been there, done that). I don’t want to die really, I just want to be free of turmoil and strife. What happens when we die, what do you think? Are we doomed to repeat this miserable life […]