fukk me you beautiful ***** — my darkness
i hate the organization im working for. i hate giving away my money to these fuckin organizations that cant be trusted. why i would i want to do that and get other people to do it. these organizations swindle so many people out of cash and there are so many looking for hand outs. its fucking annoying. its so true like we should take care of our […]
I’m about to turn 64.
I worked hard through my professional life to put my son, daughter and nephew through good schools and university and my wife through law school. In 1995, I started my own business in California.
I had some welcome success, putting aside a comfortable nest egg which I thought would carry me through however much time I had left. I was wrong. All the nest egg did was attract the attention of circling sharks.
Beginning in 2008, I made some business decisions which, over the course of the next five years, would cost me virtually everything. A former partner, my personal attorney and an […]
I’ve had depression, anxiety and anger problems for years now. I have my good patches, I have my bad. Currently it’s my longest run of bad patch, over 2 months of consecutive bad days no good ones filtered in there, it’s taking its toll really.
I have a lot of responsibility, I run a business, I just received a loan from my parents to buy a car. Every time I try and see a psychologist something comes up, a business meeting, all of my bills come out on the same day so I have no money. The problem is the bad days just keep on coming, […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Been home 2 years with back injury. Had a 2 level fusion and it has failed. Have to have another one. My business is gone. I’m financially drained. Nothing gives me joy. I love my wife and dogs and they are the only thing keeping me from doing it….but I am scared that’s not enough with the constant pain. When is enough enough? I know everyone will understand why. Lawyers, Dr’s, Work comp. Nightmare. I give up god, please take me before I do it myself.
Why does it suck ass?
-Because I have no real friends. I have ONE person who emailed me Happy Birthday. Oddly enough, more companies send me Happy Birthday emails than real live people. Companies that want my business… O_o
-Because I’m disabled- my hands and legs don’t work well, as well as a bunch of other body parts in between. And I’m in my 30s. Yeah, fuck me.
-Because I have no one to help me
-Because I’m all alone
-Because I’m poor and I can’t dig my way out of poverty when my body and limbs don’t work
-Because life is hard as shit when you’re poor AND disabled AND […]
Have any of you ever thought how easy life would be if we don’t have to please people and actually get the chance to mind our own business without getting anxious or insecure?
Because i have. So many times that i lost count.
i sit in my room talking to myself, why? Because no one cares to listen. You could sit and talk about their problems but youre a burden if you talk about yours. What has the world come to where society is like that? Hopefully all of you will listen
Being average. Never will i be the strongest. Or the fastest. The smartest. I tell people i read books but little do they know i’ve never finished a book in my life. I own books but i get bored. I wont finish top of my class, i typically sit on the bottom. Algebra and chemistry just doesnt […]
I am technically dead. I have stopped believing in myself. The thing I learnt about business analytics is that history repeats itself.
I am really exhausted and very tired of failing. I failed everything- my exams, my relationships, my flexibility and my friends. What am I doing here anyway? That is the question I have asked for many years ?
The next failure I will encounter is the exams which I am about to take. That is CISSP. Knowing me, I will try the second attempt which is probably going to fail again. I am sick and tired of […]
Well, it looks like my psychiatrist is going out of business, as if mental health wasn’t already underfunded enough. I don’t know if anyone who worked at the place will start up a business here. I guess wealth and a great education go hand in hand, so maybe those doctors can form a new business, or maybe I’ll just be on my own from here on out. At any rate, nothing has really changed. I’m still bitter and I barely leave my room. I still have no friends because people make me contemplate the ultimate futility and disillusionment I feel when pursuing relationships. Plus, another […]
It appears I’ve come a long way from the post I made in March of this year.
I had broken up with my girlfriend because my family was vehemently against me seeing her. She was a friend-with-benefits of my brother, and they weren’t talking anymore because she felt he wasn’t really interested in being “friends” or having benefits anymore. There was tension, but I had grown to like her very much as I got to know her in the peripheral of their growing apart. My brother and mother were merely disappointed and worried at first, letting me be a grown man and making a choice. But […]
Five days I’ve lived since commiting to die, since calling a national hotline, my first time ever. Stuck in the rural South, My dogs and the North wind keep watch with me, watchers for the morning. I wrapmy knee in ice. It’s disintigrating from a 980’s Surgery…the sutures, tiny lengths o fibrous black, rose through my skin to the surface. And now the ligaments are tearing away. My surgeon died decades ago. My SI Joints’ ligaments stretched in an industrial accident, permit the whole set of bones to wrench away from each other. Favoring the right knee makes it worse. I think I may have […]
I almost always feel comfortable around others in a business sort of setting. When it comes to casual meetings and activities, I want the fuck out. I remember back when I had friends, and we went out to go eat, but I was bored to death. What was there to talk about? We already discussed poop. We talked about sex and food too. What was the point? Friends don’t last, they just come and go. We all run out of things to say, and being stuck in an unfulfilling relationship is… unfulfilling. I don’t get why people are so happy on the TV and outside […]
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
Reality is boring & LIMITED !!
Real life is boring & LIMITED !!
Real world is boring & LIMITED !!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, […]
I’ve gotten all business attended and done I’ve got everything in order now I just have to do it finally I’ll be free from my abuse all my pain I don’t belong in this world was there any doubt I would die early not in my mind I knew at a youngest age that it would end with a bullet through the mouth and soon it will be done
I find it ironic how wealthy and successful people can be so depressed, yet society acts as if humanity is advancing for the better by replacing human connections with emotionless machines and business practices. Seriously, there are people working on sex robots because they’re so tired of being raped by humanity.
Long story short. .I have been engaged for the past 3 years, we had been dating for 5 years, and we have been friends since mid 2000. I suffer from depression and have attempted suicide several times in the past. When my other half and I started dating something changed in me. I could feel it and my family could see it. He was a blessing in disguise. After April of this year I could feel something wasn’t the same my gut said he was […]
Life is such a messy business
I’ve wasted much of the past fourteen years being lost in the pain of losing someone I cherished more than anyone. Some of you have seen the details puked out here on SP and I won’t go into them again – suffice it to say I gave my life to someone who decided it was more in their best interest to dump me in the gutter and run off with a child molester.
I’ve not had any contact with her for several years, at which time she got in touch with me for reasons still unknown. I made it clear I knew all the secrets, even […]
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