People say suicide is selfish and cowardly. They have no fucking clue.
If you’re dying from a terminal illness like, say, cancer, you are surrounded by family, friends, and medical staff. They support you, they don’t judge you for your suffering, and they will be holding your hand to the end.
You can tell people you’re going to die. You can say your goodbyes. You can put your affairs in order. People will even help you do it, so you can be at peace in the end.
For all my life, 20 years, I had dreams.
Those were 20 years of hopes, of good will, of hard work, of wanting something.
I had a reason for everything I did, I had something to go toward to.
Today at around 12:00, I just crashed. God if you are there, please beware – I’m broken God.
I’m completely shit-broken, I have such an abdominal pains that I can’t run anywhere, and my mom is dealing with her horrible cancer alone. I’m in the university and I lost control. I can’t help her beside talk or try to convince her to move on. I can’t help financially cause I […]
It’s been awhile since my last post. Damn, I was.. 16? I’m 18 now and things aren’t looking quite as bright. I’m more mature, yes, but.. My grandfather died an awful death. Stage 4 cancer. I got to watch him suffer, scream and plead for death then die. My Grandmother also has stage 4 and my OTHER grandmother just was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. My two great-uncles passed away, along with a great aunt.. Plus my dog, Charm, and my Cat, Jarro also passed away..
(The fuck is with all this death?)
This has my my family go even more batshit crazy, and, in […]
so another one is dying soon… I don’t get how someone could go to the dr for so long, and they never even tried to see… was it too expensive to screen for it? i guess some people are worth more than others, and help only comes if you have enough money.
why am i still here again?
One year ago: I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was trying to absorb the reality and decide what to do. I had been invisible for so long. After the diagnosis, my family and friends suddenly realized that I exist. The sister I hadn’t spoken to in six months was suddenly very caring and concerned. Even distant cousins sent me cards and emails.
Then it was over. Surgery successful; no chemo or radiation. Yippee. Then everyone left and I was invisible once more.
Then my dad lost his battle with cancer. Two months he’s been gone. I wish I could be where he is. Wish […]
Hi
I stumbled onto this site when I was ranting to Siri about wanting to end my life. And I really do. I don’t have a plan, I just want to die.
My life has just been one chronic pain after another for three years. A botched biopsy of my lip left me with permanent nerve damage in my lip which led to digestive problems, which led to severe weight loss, which led to muscle atrophy, which led to more pain.
Last year I had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I’m done with my breast cancer treatment but not over the pain of the loss. People say I’m […]
There are so many people suffering, So many people on the verge of death. They wake up every morning hoping their fate will change, praying for a miracle. Every night they dream of being free from their condition and living a full happy life.
And then here I am, a person with a healthy life, with my whole life ahead of me. Healthy and young I have so much to live for, but every day I wake up and hope my fate will change, I pray for tragedy. Every night I dream of being free from this condition called life.
Why cant we switch. Why I can I […]
I am so depressed. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want my sister to die, she has terminal cancer. and she can’t be treated where I live ( Jordan ) And I dont have the money to send her outside for treatment. I tried asking people, the government, i made a campaign to raise money I tried everything nobody want’s to help me, I am so depressed I can’t even go to work. I live in the UAE and work here, what kills me is that I am not there with her and she is in so much pain. she is so depressed […]
I want to die. I just dont know how ! I cant live anymore, my father passed away and now my only sister is dying of cancer I have no family left. How can I possibly end my life in the easier most painless way possible ?
I recently looked up a particular symptom I’ve had for about 5 months. All these random health sites list the same boring possible causes, as well as several cancers that could cause it. Not many people would feel the same but I’d be really relieved if it was cancer. Especially if it was advanced. I could quit school, quit my job, quit everything, and live out the rest of my days however I want with no one blaming me for anything. Most likely just wishful thinking though. The symptom will probably alleviate itself in time and turn out to be nothing. But I can dream, can’t I?
I’m sorry this is so long. It’s my first post. But, it’s a juicy story filled with a lot of pain. I promise.
I’m not sure where to even begin. 10/11 years ago, or the recent events? What I do know is…it doesn’t matter if I kill myself of not. The beautiful star filled sky will still appear each night. The warm glowing sun will continue to rise every morning. The seasons will still slowly change and flow into each other in a never ending rhythm. Beyond me, everyone else’s life will still continue on. So, why not? My father always says, “Suicide is the most […]
Hi,
This year I was diagnosed with Renal cancer for the 3rd time.In 2005 I lost my left kidney to it.2nd time it showed up in my right kidney and got a botched surgery to remove the tumor. Only thing is this time (the 3rd) it’s spread throughout my body. I will not die of it. I am a nurse and have watched too many people die of this horrid disease and I refuse to let it take me.I do not want my families last memory of me to be that of me lying in a hospital bed,wracked with pain,on so much Morphine I don’t […]
This isn’t something I typically talk about because it isn’t an easy subject to approach. I’m going back to my doctor soon to figure out how far things have progressed or if they’ve changed at all. I really don’t think I want to know. I’m so tired of this.
I would kill to feel like I could trust someone. Anyone. But people come into my life and I throw them away just as quickly. Id rather hurt them than let them hurt me. Might as well beat them to the punch. Right?
In all honesty, I’m scared. Of everything. I don’t know where to turn. don’t […]
Death by chance.
She had always thought her life was perfect up until perfect became too much. She had a beautiful family and made friends so easily, she was good at school work and got guys easily, she thought life would always be this easy, sounds great right? Well that’s what she told people. Little did she know life was deceiving her the whole time, her life that she thought was perfect wasn’t as good as she thought, infact She got bullied every year of her primary school life, changed friendship groups every year, never had a true bestfriend until year 7. She didn’t have such […]
Yup. Totally fucked up since the fucking day I was born. So this past 2 years have been so so messed up, wait that’s not the right word. HAVE BEEN SO FUCKED UP!! Last monday was my 3rd time I tried to commit suicide, didn’t work as you can see, so I’ve been at this shitty hospital all this week and a couple hours before doctors told me I have cancer (leukemia). Not the best news I wanted but ammm I can’t do anything about it, because I did this all bymyself so right now I;m lost, and please don’t. Don’t tell me everything is […]
I recently came to the conclusion, maybe I don’t need to end my life I just need a new one. How would this work?
Get separated.
Move.
Use gov. assistance to pay for daycare & actually get a degree and job.
Actually stand on my own for once.
Well, f!ck me apparently. There’s really not such a thing as separation in Nebraska. I would still have to do all the steps for a divorce, which I can’t afford and neither can my husband. I’m stuck in a marriage I don’t want to be in. I have been screwing another guy for 6 months now…..I don’t think I could want any […]
Letter to nobody
I have been started to write a letter or something similar about my thoughts maybe someone will understand the pain inside
I am an immigrant from east, arrived in Belgium for a better life, but the things did not work that way, they just went down the drain slowly. I work in a computer store, giving other people advices about how to run computers, fixing it problems something like .it was fun at the beginning because this is a thing I like to do the whole it thing, but slowly it is not working anymore.
My wife and I arrived in Belgium to make a […]
My Mom’s been dead for almost 5 years this August (heart attack at 53), my Dad’s dead too (Cancer at 56). I’m 34, my birthday is 10 days after Mother’s day. I don’t have anyone from my family left that i care about, but I’m worried about leaving my partner behind, we’ve been together 11 years and i don’t know if he could care for himself. I’ve been thinking about slowly splitting up with him so i could kill myself a while after without worrying about his well being.
Just wish i could get him away, and some where he’ll be ok with out me, […]
Alright so, its been so long on here nobody would remember who i was but my name is Candice, and i posted here last year giving my story. Today im just gonna give a summary because i dont have time to type alot and I have nothing now. No one to go to, no one i can talk to. I’m going to make this as short as i can because i really need somebody to read it.
From the time i was in kindergarden i was bullied. It wasn’t until 4th grade it started getting bad. I started getting in trouble at school, i owed […]
My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
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