Tag:

Clothes

I’m Not a Hero, Just Here

by SomeMalaise 7/1/2012

written by SomeMalaise

I pop on most days to work on a project, or to write a reply. Some days I’ll just read quietly. I speak up when I have something to share but I realize my voice just like before doesn’t mean much.

When I was younger I was a listener and I was forced to be a talker. To be a talker to make myself clear and to stop assumptions about me.

A phrase rings through my head “You can’t be a hero” at 12 years old my father did everything to crush my hopes. I did little things, I donated a little money, I held open […]

7/1/2012 8 comments

stopping self harm

by birthright 6/30/2012

written by birthright

i am trying to stop self harm, i havent self harmed for a while like 3 weeks but i keep finding myself desperatly wanting to feel the sting of a cut and see the blood come out, haveing it hurt for a few days when my clothes rub against it to remind me im still alive and seeing the cuts to show myself im fucked up.

6/30/2012 2 comments

My Father The Summary of My Life

by SomeMalaise 6/21/2012

written by SomeMalaise

My father’s existance summarizes how my life has been for me in a metaphorical term. Emotional blackmail.

My father calls me 24 times a day sometimes more for very trivial things. I do them. If i don’t I know what will happen.

Trash, yard, clean, glass of water, make my food, find my shoes, shave my beard, find my clothes, mow the lawn, water the grass, find my glasses, where’s my tooth brush, let’s get groceries. You go in the store I’ll stay outside (he talks on the phone to some woman i don’t know) Oh i didn’t give you enough money? How much is the […]

6/21/2012 4 comments

A WEEK’S DREAM

by fakingit 6/9/2012

written by fakingit

ok WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? for the past freaking week right before i wake up i have this dream that im very pale and frail (opposite of reality) and im just falling in this white hole that is eternal but its not just white there is also splattered blood around me and all over my hands and clothes? then right before i wake up i hear my boyfriend’s voice then i awake in a huge silent house full of sleeping people so now im awake. What Would This Dream Mean???

6/9/2012 1 comment

Empty

by Everlasting 5/20/2012

written by Everlasting

I am trying to hold on, but I have been steadily tidying up my life these last weeks and I am throwing away my career and my life very quickly. I am steadily working towards the end and although I feel really bad right now, I know I will hold on another day or two. I keep trying to find excuses to carry on just one more day (new tattoos, new clothes/shoes to be bought tomorrow), anything at all. But it is all crap and means nothing. It is just a distraction from where I know I am heading. I hate to set deadlines, none […]

5/20/2012 1 comment

Is right now the right time?

by Sarah 5/20/2012

written by Sarah

I’m sat in bed, crying. I feel pathetic even writing this but I have nowhere else to go. My mum just took me out to go to B&Q with her. On the way I said ‘I would like to go home.’ She pulled up and asked me why. I said ‘I don’t know what I want to do because I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to be here.’

She took me home. On the way I asked her if she was currently suicidal, she said no but she had been not too long ago. I said, ‘Next time you feel that way maybe […]

5/20/2012 1 comment

Over & Done With

by musictomyears 5/16/2012

written by musictomyears

Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.

But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]

5/16/2012 4 comments

Caring Is Creepy

by FriendOfAFriend 5/9/2012

written by FriendOfAFriend

I’ve decided to bore you all with a day of my life to see if anyone can relate to having “a good life” and thus having no reason to feel so bad all the time. Let me save you some time and summarize: whine, whine, whine, *****, complain, I hate everything, my friend tried to kill herself.
BAM. just saved you oodles of time.

It’s 6am. I’m tired, already tired and the day hasn’t even started for me yet. I couldn’t sleep last night, just like most nights, and stayed up until 1. I put on clothes, they could be any clothes really, they could be […]

5/9/2012 0 comment

pointless

by Zuckerguss 5/5/2012

written by Zuckerguss

I’ve been having numerous problems over the past several years (living in fear, confinement, fatigue, weakness, headaches and other physical problems) and I can’t help but pity myself over it, but I honestly don’t feel that bad about it because my life would’ve been boring without having to deal with the hardships I endured. Life is pointless, especially in this society where all it seems to be about is work and money. It’s a shame, I don’t think I could find a purpose to living even if I had the opportunity no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried. It pisses me […]

5/5/2012 3 comments

Waste of life

by returning9x4 5/2/2012

written by returning9x4

I’m never going to be worth anything. Why? Because I try so damn hard to be myself, but apparently that person is already taken.

It’s been like this my whole life. I wanted SO bad to be a horse vet, then a year later, my older sister declares horse vet as her career choice. All anyone talked about what how perfect it was for her. She’s SO good with animals.

I want to visit Ireland and Wales, where my ancestors came from, but NO. Coincidentally, my sister is getting an opportunity to go. I’ve wanted to go since middle school.

I want to work with animals for a […]

5/2/2012 4 comments

Newyork

by Myimmortal 4/29/2012

written by Myimmortal

Yea newyork is nice but the ghetto isnt brooklyn,bronx,queens we all face it we are exspected to reach that manhatten fame of lights and money when its hard to find a job. Nice clothes aint everything if you dont like the way you are in the outside. Point is no matter where you come from we all struggle but do we have the strength to live a better life ?

4/29/2012 10 comments

BrOkEn AnD tOrN

by Nothin2Live4 4/25/2012

written by Nothin2Live4

As I lie in bed at night

The door begins to squeak

Footsteps I hear creak

The bed goes down

With a climbing sound

As you begin to creep

You climb on top

The covers retract

Here you go make your move

Smashing fist

Bloodied face

Screams that pierce the room

Clothes come off

And there you go

The nightmare hits the road

Start to finish

As I scream

You just dig right in

The louder I scream

The harder you pound

And there seems to be no end

As the room begins to darken

The breathing comes to an end

Unconscious I lie once again

Wakened now by the sun

Glowing on my skin

Stinging feelings begin

4/25/2012 0 comment

I just want to die!

by mimi28 4/18/2012

written by mimi28

I never actually thought i would end up like this, i was always so happy. No that is a lie. Now when i think back i notice i ACTED like i was happy but on the inside i had already died a long time ago. I’m not even 16 and i allready want to end my life so badly! And i can’t tell anyone about these feelings these suicidal thoughs because no one kann really understand me. I used to get bullied alot because of my nationality, of how i spoke, how i looked and how i acted. Four years long not a day went […]

4/18/2012 5 comments

Hour to Hour…

by illumini 4/7/2012

written by illumini

… I get closer to walking away. I see around me the stupidity in this world and I see it reflected in your reaching, pathetic eyes. I see the moon in all it’s naked glory blinding me till I want to tell the ***** to put some clothes on, or she’ll end up just like you. Just like you and your total lack of control over yourself. You and your fucking retardation that blinds you to the patterns of cause and effect in your life. How dare you have the audacity to look me in the eye and lie to me?

You can’t possibly take me […]

4/7/2012 0 comment

Does anyone else want to get rid of reminders of the past?

by indigo rain 4/6/2012

written by indigo rain

I see drawings, pictures, trinkets, clothes and I just want to get rid of them like that will make memories from before just disappear and stop haunting me. I wish it were true. I wish I had amnesia and would never remember who is was and still am.

4/6/2012 2 comments

the ugly duckling

by Whateverbell 3/29/2012

written by Whateverbell

thats my story, except i never turned into anything beautiful. Just like the ugly Duckling, i was born ugly, people made fun of me about it since 5th grade until now (senior) and there’s just nothing good going for me. Im honestly one of those people who are ashamed of walking down the hallway because the way i look. im one of those people who walk with my head down on my way to classes. Im just soo tired of looking like this. i know i talk about it all the time, but i believe if i was confident about my looks for once in […]

3/29/2012 4 comments

Just Because…

by farmerstrong13 3/27/2012

written by farmerstrong13

Just because I smile doesn’t mean I’m really happy. Just because I’m smart doesnt mean I’m mentally stable. Just because I wear clothes that cover up my body doesn’t mean I don’t have cuts and bruises from bullies underneath. Just because I am against suicide doesn’t maan I don’t consider it myself. Just because I help other doesn’t mean I don’t need help myself. Just because I like school doesn’t mean I like it because it’s fun.

3/27/2012 8 comments

So far so bad.

by Whateverbell 3/25/2012

written by Whateverbell

I quit my job after 3 days. 3 whole days and i quit. im such dumb failure. Im over-sensitive, and social anxiety, and i couldn’t take the fact that those god awful customers disrespected me like that. i couldn’t bare the fact that i gotÂ threaten, assaulted andÂ harassed. im so stupid. Secondly, this guy scared the crap out of me in the parking lot. i have never been so scared before. I was in the parking lot sitting in my car reading something, and this guy comes out of nowhere and parks next to me. He just starring at me, and he winks, and i got […]

3/25/2012 3 comments

dont want to live

by tphg 3/21/2012

written by tphg

life and living, for me, is an outfit. you put on all these clothes that weigh you down but eventually, end of the day comes; time to strip ’em off and rest.

I’m afraid that I’m genuinely losing my mind. That analogy, if you can call it that, is a half finished thought. So many of my thoughts are half finished and incoherant; I’M half finished and incoherant HAHAHA! self loathing is always hilarious.

I try to wear my life for as long as possible, but I always end up stripping it off and proclaiming myself animal.

What am I saying? WHat am I writing? How is […]

3/21/2012 4 comments

I want to be Pretty

by alwaysonsomethingluv 3/19/2012

written by alwaysonsomethingluv

My parents say I want to call attention. That the way I dress demands attention. That I embarrassed them. I don’t try to. I just can’t be myself. I see myself In the mirror and all I see is a fat lard. I hate my skin tone, my eyes, my hair, my body! I hate it all! So I try to make it better! I try to hide my fat body under layers of clothes. I hide my face under make up! I hide my ugly untamed frizzy shit colored hair under dye. I change how I look! And only when I change it I […]

3/19/2012 6 comments

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