I have been irritated off and on like a bipolar fuck, no patience in the world mainly because my dad’s too much of a tight ass to let me spend one fucking day with my cousins because their mom is never home yet my other aunts and uncle live there too but no getting through that moron unless another adult tells him that. He told me he needed me to earn his trust again after one of my cousins snitched on me and Alex about smoking weed, apparently together yet we never did. I cant believe this shit. I am angry as fuck and just […]
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Cousins
Okay so most of you guys see me posting storys of how i hate living but not really knowing why.well here you go starting when i was in kindegarden i got picked on in school but from there all the way up to 6it was only about my hair and clothes i was also sexualy abised by 3of my cousins and there dad.then when i got to middle school i got made fun of because everything my weight my hair clothes where i live how i looked etc.since 8th grade ive tried to kill myself over 50 times ive been in and out […]
Of all the people on my dad’s side of the family I missed talking to the the most, it was my older cousin Carson.
Carson and I used to be close as kids, when my father was part of my life. We are only two years apart and to him and I it’s always felt like nothing. He’s the closest thing I ever had to a brother, more so then my own brother even. That’s why when he decided to come down to my father’s house I didn’t think much about it, all I could wonder about was what he was going to be like now […]
I’m not perfect and I’m the first one to say that. I cry when people don’t look and I always end up falling in love with people only to be told in a mild sense that I don’t deserve them. It’s always the same. Yes I am 23 and I have never been kissed by a guy or told that they love me or anything because everytime I try to get close to them. I get talked badly about like I AM NOT supposed to love anyone ever. I’m a *****, I’m a whore skank slut whatever. In a way I’m at fault. I lock […]
She told me to get the rant out. Say all things that you keep telling yourself over and over quietly. Half of them, you won’t even mean or believe. Then talk to her. My mom. That’s all I ever want to do is sit down and talk to her. Have a conversation. In the past five years I’ve cut, made myself throw up, started smoking pot, drinking excessively and ending up in the hospital. I don’t know what I am doing or even why. I am impulsive like my father.
No one knows. My sister calls me psycho, I forgive her. But maybe I am. The […]
I’ve always known that I was depressed. But i put a good wall and hid it from everybody. At a glance, nobody would guess how rotten and dead i feel inside. I’ve read websites for “help” but honestly, I dont want help. I’ve been depressed and suicidal for so long. I have never felt wanted or truly happy. If at one point I was happy, everything would soon come crashing down. And I’d be in my bed crying myself to sleep, reaching over to get the scissors and start cuting on my arm.
Just like today. I was truly excited to go on a vacation with […]
i know my issues aren’t worthy of suicide compared to others but i just got to let this out hehe… i guess this may not be really about my thoughts of suicide. though i sometimes feel like ending my own life just because of reading other people’s pain and sorrow…
grades don’t matter but why can’t my father see that. he’s always bringing me down. always telling me how brilliant he was in college. that i ought to be like him. but i’m not him and never will be. he always contradicts me on everything even when i was choosing which school to get into. i […]
im sorry but i really dnt have neone to talk to nemore. since 2001 ive had serious thoughts of suicide. My life really sucks… when i was three my grandfather decided to molest me and then when my elder brother hit puberty he decided to rape and molest me for almost 5 years. i accidentally told the cops and he was arrestted but no one in my family believed me except my mother. everyone else just called me a liar because they didn’t like me as much as they liked him. When i grew into my teenage years my cousins decided to try ‘sstuff’ on […]
I want to die because I am a fool. I have nothing called life because I am a fool. Because of my clumsiness no one ever loves me. I have no friends. I dont even think of girlfriends. I have been staying with my uncle and his family since first grade and over the years they have only grown to hate me. Every relatives I know hate me. I have never known what is to be loved, and in all these years I have forgotten to love. When you lose your heart the life is not being worth to live. I have also decided never […]
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