I don’t know. my parents were addicted to meth. To be honest my mom did meth through out the time I was in her stomach. I did not come out wrong I was never normal though. My parents loved me of course but they were always to busy doing drugs and stealing from the government to really take good care of me. My mom eventually went to prison for 5 year. I was sad of course but she left all the time anyways so it was normal. My dad quit meth. He started drinking. Most people would be happy but my dad was worse when […]
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Dad
I never knew how much I hated to hear the truth until now. I got internet at my house about a month ago, and my father just told me, “I knew this was going to happen when we got internet. You spend 95% of your time on the computer.” I told him, “There’s nothing else to do.”
When I didn’t have internet and had all that free time, I wasn’t too safe. That’s when drugs, sex, and just plain outrageous and irrational things came into play. I wonder which one my father would rather have me do: stay on the internet all day, or go out […]
A close friend of mine did something similar to this on his page so I decided to try it too. The difference is I guess my suicidal thoughts and low self esteem started long before online friends or dating.
I grew up in a family of eight plus. We did foster care for two kids so there was sometimes an extra girl in the house. I was always biologically the oldest though. If you’ve grown up in a big family, then you probably understand where I’m coming from when I say it’s like survival of the fittest. And when the three oldest siblings are you […]
Hi, I suffer from Manic Depression . Not many in my school know that. They think i’m happy, maybe even normal teenage girl. I’m 14. But this is were it all started.
When I was little, I was always the “troubled” child. My parents would curse at me , call me a “retard” , “slut” “whore” all different types of names when I just was two years of age. It wasn’t only the names… my mom was a drunk and my dad wasn’t so much of a help either, she would hit me, with all sorts of things, whatever she could get her hands on. […]
My mind wanders all sorts of dark places. It’s like life is never going to change. The fear of death is only because your attached to something or someone. I have someone. I don’t fear death though. I learned that fear is just in your mind and it can go away. I can disappear and the world keeps spinning. My death will only define who I was. Although I want people to remember me as happy that would just be lying to themselves and that’s useless. I don’t really regret anything right now and I want to die in peace and I feel like this is the […]
Well, I am here now, after I couldn’t figure out where to go finally I found this site, and I hope this is gonna help me.Â
I had severe depression for two and a half-three years. My story started when I turned four or five, my brother started to act weird. First he was hurting me all the time, he was nine at the time, but it was okay, this is no big deal between siblings. I was always the type of kid who is playing alone and trying to stay out of trouble. My brother started to fight with my parents, first it wasn’t […]
this is my first time ever talking about my suicidal feelings. i guess I should let you know about me. I’m 18 and I’ve been trying to kill myself since I was ten not sure what made me want to start but i’ve been trying ever since. Sometimes I’ll be “fine” for weeks and then i drop back to wanting to die or cut which can last for a few days or sometimes months. In total I’ve tried 12 times one was about 3 hours ago and shortly after started puking, my mom walked in the bathroom and asked if I was ok and i told […]
I’m not going to graduate. I know I’m not
My family, mainly my dad, who’s beeing emotionally abusive for years and years due to school, will abandon me, or maybe worse.
I mean nothing to most people who live near me, my only friends are words on a screen and they have kept me going whenever i tried to give up
but i cant keep putting it off.
Im a failure, and I need to get out of here.
I’ve wanted a painless, peaceful death for a long time, I’ve thought about sitting in my car in the garage, but sadly ive been told it wont work.
I’ve thought about vodka+pills, […]
I know we’ll never understand each other but just try to make an effort.
You don’t imagine how frustrating is have a “depressive” side that no one in your family knows or even imagine. I hide my tears. I hide my sadness. I hide my fooling (?) I hide just that side.
I wish I can make you proud but even if I try and try I can’t is something inside me who need to disappear before I could.
I love you even if sometimes I want you to disappear
Please forgive me
I’ve never felt right on this earth. I’ve been depressed and made small attempts (self harm?) since primary school. I had a loving (if alcoholic and over controlling) mother who took her own life by car exhaust when I was 12. My sleep pattern got fucked, school work started slipping and I started cutting. I got close to a full attempt and chickened out at the last minute when I was 14. My dad was just really angry and refused to let me seek help. I had a grief counsellor, but I’m not sure […]
As we are to the world, but I guess you would know that.
Favorite line from my favorite song. But moving forward.
I’ve been plagued with the world’s worse bout of depression I’ve ever felt. Its not that I havn’t felt this way before, but the difference here is that I can’t cry; and something about that seems to be hindering my healing process. Quite frankly though, I’m getting tired. Very tired.
I feel like I’m going insane, and the stillness I’m experiencing is like an inner ring of hell. I’m depressed to a point where there’s NOTHING I want to do, which makes no sense seeing as […]
I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
I’m really sorry I made this so long but if anyone can read and respond I’d be very grateful.
When I was in 3rd grade, I transferred out of my elementary school and went to a different one. However, when I got to the new school, I was always bullied. I don’t know why, but people just never seemed to like me. I would sometimes get beat up and kicked around at recess. I remember one particular day when they lured me behind a tree in 4th grade and 3 guys beat the hell out of me. Sure, my parents went and talked to the teachers […]
i don’t think i need to worry about being lonely or about not being cared for. anyways what’s the big deal….everybody has their own things to worry about, why would they think of you or how to help you… if you need help, help yourself … hey i am not saying this to anybody else, i am saying it to myself… i have decided not to kill my self … i can’t do it coz that would give my mom a lot of problems to handle… and she doesn’t deserve it… not after single handedly taking care of me and my sister after my dad […]
Over the years of my life people have trusted me with their secrets. Their own stories. Just holding them can put stress on a person, so I decided to share them with whoever is willing to read. I will not use names nor describe the physival apearance of that person.
First, a friend of mine had told me that her mother had been raped during the summer of 2012. She told me it was by someone very close and she is still going to therapy. Although she is recovering from the whole experience, she is making progress. She was not afraid of speaking up (which is […]
My home situation have been very tough. As little girl I had every lie through at home. My mom has/had a relationship with an other man. My dad does everything at home cooking, laundry, bringing me and my 2 brothers to bed and school etc. My mom never does that and never gives us love. And my dad doesn’t too, he just does the standard stuff. She denies that she has a relationship with the other man. They are just friends she says. I just saw the man a couple months ago for the first time (never want to again). But people have seen them […]
My name is drew, i am 20 years old, and currently residing in a “suck you under” little town in texas. I grew up a happy child, played sports and had lots of friends. But were did it all go wrong? why do i have no friends? no family? no life? why is waking up a day to day challenge? i guess you could say im to chicken shit to kill myself. but the thought has passed my mind alot more than it should. i wish i could just leave this world behind….and no one would remember me. i see my life and friends […]
I’m through, I tried to get better. Â I just want to stop the pain. Stayed in bed and cried for an hour this morning. Nothing makes it better.
I’m sorry to anyone who my actions are going to hurt, I really am.
To my kids:
I am so sorry, I love you so much but it’s not fair to you to be shuffled between parents like this. It’s not fair to have a dad who can’t function like a normal person. Both of you are the only reasons I’ve lasted this long. I hope you can forgive me in time and have good lives, I am so proud […]
I have been on medication (viibryd) for 6 weeks. doc says it will help. He also gave me clonopin for anxiety at work. I am 42 divorced, no kids, just a great dog who was thrown from a car window and i rescued him. I will not committ suicide and leave my dog. no one would care if i die, i come from a “traditional italian family” your not supposed to have depression, you are supposed to “snap out of it and smile” well i cant. and lord knows i’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel now that since i’ve been with this job […]