is been nearly 2 days and I still feel sluggish, like I wanna sleep all day. Ugh still guess I’m detoxing but my health anxiety is coming back. I’m so afraid I did perminate damage.
September 2014, the quiet rural suburbs heard the screams of my partner, followed by the police and ambulance. Id followed through. I tied a slip knot made from high strength marine rope, tied it with a double hitch around the truss of the shed climbed 2 mtrs off the ground smiled at my partner and jumped off.
4 days later i awoke in a daze in icu on life support unable to move. I had broken my C1 and neurological damage was unknown. I was stabilized over the next few days and air lifted to our state capital some 350kms away to undergo further testing.
.. … […]
a friend told me that he had ******** dissolved but wasn’t able to go through with it. it’s been dissolved for a few days and now he worries the powder has lost its effect. I told him to go to the hospital but I’m worried about what he might do.
does anyone know, if ******** is dissolved but not used immediately, does it lose its effect? if it’s not pure anymore, what would happen if you take it, would you still wake up? would you get brain/organ damage if you wake up? help!
I love my children enough to leave them before I cause any more damage. I know they will miss me but if I am around I could do so much more damage than if I were dead. At least when I’m dead that will be the last thing I do to hurt them.
I have got to go because I am done. There’s no more art, no more me, no more drama, and everyone can breath now. I can’t hurt you all anymore after this. You will move on and find better people to spend time with.
I’m selfish and narcissistic. I’ve no drive to live […]
I cheated on my fiancé with a married man. The married man is the man who sold us our house and puts me to work as an artist.
My fiancé dumped me after finding out. Married man not fully committing and everything hurts. I could lose everything and I hate myself. Why the fuck do I ruin everything?!
I have slept with so many men I am too ashamed to count. Put my children through hell. I have no job. And no man wants me any more. I’m dangerous and exciting but not worth it.
Please something kill me because I need to be put out of my […]
there goes that numb feeling.. That emptiness and the tears follow.. Its crazy that I could actually do something with my life but its to late for me..my life was over before I had a chance to be on my own..i hate my mother she’s been through so much and if only she got help I wouldn’t be so fucked up so now I’m stuck with the damage the PTSD and depression the every day struggle to smile and act like everything is okay while going to the bathroom 3 times a day just to cut.. My brain is fried everything hurts so much..i cry […]
ssI’ve gotten to the point to where my head hurts when ever I get even the slightest depressed It hurts so much I can’t stand it. My biggest wish is to be happy. I want a family and kids My girlfriend made me promise I wouldn’t hurt myself. She use to selfharm but she stopped when we started living together and she realized that I cut alot and she wanted us to get better together but its hard for me I don’t want to let her down but when she gets upset I get depressed.. She’s all I have like my mind is so damage […]
Been depressed for years and i have a bad drink problem thats started affecting my health i have severe liver damage ive got a lot worse feeling low the last few months not because of my health problems im just not even interested in anything anymore in the past ive always talked my self out ended it all for what it would do to my parents but lately ive just thought if i do it and get it over and done with then its done. i cant imagine what im going to put my parents through if i carry on drinking and been honest i […]
If this was two months ago I would’ve been crying like a little ***** but now,now I’m made for shit like this.& I have 100% commission job so I have to fight to get paid everyday to pay for the damage.It doesn’t look that bad but all together Its gonna cost 450$
Evil comes in many forms, in abuse, emotional neglect, psychological torture and many others – all instigated by a minority of individuals – there are some people who are the embodiment of evil because they are the medium in which evil propagates. I have a strong inclination towards physical justice, I would gladly and genuinely inflict pain and suffering on those that have committed evil acts, ironic? I suppose on some levels, but I distinctly think that those that injure the innocent are subhuman and therefore are not allowed the benefits of human morality.
Coming in contact with these individuals breeds such vehement and unrelenting hatred in […]
I had a strange and morbid fascination the other night concerning a documentary I watched a few years ago…called “The Bridge” and it chronicles suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s hard to watch; haunting; very sad. What really spoke to me was the story of Kevin Hines, who actually survived the jump. Once he leaped, he was suddenly struck with the realization that he wanted to LIVE and changed his mind mid-air. And that’s what really haunts me…what if once you pull the trigger, or hoist the rope or leap off…what if in that very moment you decide that you don’t want to die […]
I am drinking a beer. I have dried tears on my distant face. I am reminded of the most severe pain I’ve ever experienced. I have glimpsed into my father’s mind and seen a tiny bit of the damage that relentless emotional damage, drugs and physical pain were causing him: before he decided that he did not want to deal with any of it anymore. “…made me turn to drugs and use the needle and my drug addiction to destroy myself..” “Makes me want to be left alone and not bothered by people.” “My moods are usually controlled by how often I think of my […]
But even if they understood, it wouldn’t make a difference. The damage is done.
They want to know what’s wrong. When I tell them, they don’t get it.
They offer concern, but it is really just curiosity and discomfort. I don’t know how to fake it.
To me there’s a difference in self harming and actually wanting to dir. I’m no coward. Like I’ve said. I won’t end my life bc I don’t want my remainging family to live with the fact that they didn’t listen. Knowing what I’m capable of. And knowing I’m not afraid. They still go about.
I want to die so bad. And I think in all honesty this would be fair to me. But as you see I can for these fuckers around me who don’t care about me. Selfless. Fuck… I cut deep and watch the blood run out. I feel alone..and dead already its so […]
I was raped and then a few days later rejected by this guy i liked/loved then put on a bunch of weight and i can’t shake it off.
Typing it out, thinking it out makes me feel so awful. Tons of worse things happen to people. Plus I was depressed/suicidal before this, But I guess it just feels like it solidifies how worthless I’ve felt my entire life.
I went to my personal trainer today. Got weighed and then I just cried. I feel so useless.
If I didn’t have to get my niece and nephew tomorrow I’d take few more vicodin and drink until I fall asleep. […]
If I were to describe myself in one word it would be just that: weak. I hate myself so much I can’t stand to look in the mirror everyday. I hate myself for allowing all of these awful things to happen to me. If I would have just listened to my gut instinct and walked away from a lot of situations (including meeting you), I wouldn’t be in this position right now. I hate you and more importantly, I hate myself for not staying away from you. You have completely wrecked every part of my life and I know that it gives you an immense […]
So off track, I don’t know how to get back.
I know what is awaiting me.
I’ve done it all before – an impossible task.
I am so alone, yet I have no motivation to open up.
The journey has to end – I can’t live this way.
There are some things I just cannot accept.
I had a whole year to self destruct, and that, I did.
It really is the only way I know how to cope- I don’t have anything else.
I’ve done so much damage to myself.
I walk in silence, barely resembling the person I once was: full of spirit.
I wake every morning needing to die again.
I sometimes have nightmares.
I shouldn’t fight […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
Life can be full of pain.
Most people have difficulties dealing with every day life,
and it’s more serious circumstances.
Some people are luckier than others,
they deal with mundane and less serious things.
Some aren’t so lucky.
What led me here?
What led those I have cared for here,
in this down in life state?
Monsters,
they don’t care for the consequences of their actions,
only their selfish gains.
Do monsters feel pain?
Do they know the depth of damage they cause others?
Do they know the lives they destroy?
I don’t believe in karma.
There is no ‘being patient’ for karma […]