Because today I felt like self praising myself and I felt really good about myself that I decided to share with you a picture of me.
Tag:
Day
What doesn’t kill you, makes you wish you were dead.
I’ve been meaning to post more often but most of the time I try to keep myself busy and try not to either cut or kill myself. Everyday.
Lately I’ve been feeling really, REALLY lonely and really wanting to find a boyfriend, but with my personality and me being very introverted and shy …. It’s really hard for me to approach really any guy or let any guy approach me … I’m just such a fail idk why I haven’t even attempted once more. Maybe this time it’ll work. Maybe I’ll fuck up myself even more. Who knows?
Also .. I’m so sexually frustrated and miss the feel of having a boyfriend and being able to go out and just spend time with them and kiss them and what not …
Sorry I had to let it out … Cuz literally … the sexual frustration is intense ..
Why? Why? Why?
I was going to write once I got back from work but my mom decided to make it a movie night since I wasn’t feeling so good.
So on my way to work I was feeling really sick. I was feeling really lightheaded, nauseous, and at the same time my blood pressure was really high. For a minute I thought maybe, just maybe I was going to have a heart attack and to be honest, I wouldn’t have minded if I did. When I got to work I didn’t know if I really wanted to spend the entire day feeling like this so I told my […]
It’s been … Around 3 days since I stopped taking my medication.. I’ve been feeling really lightheaded throughout the day and I guess it’s something normal? I stopped because I dont think it’s doing any good to me or changing any thoughts of suicide and self harm. Of course my family and doctors don’t know that I’ve stopped, but my family has noticed me not feeling too good so I just told them the truth that I’ve been having some headaches and feeling lightheaded and whatnot but they don’t really give it too much thought. I’m going back to lying to my friends and family […]
The one truth
I can count on
Because you have been there
Through years
Day and night
The only one that has remained
Change does not alter you
Neither time nor place
Desperation is my dark friend
Despair my only constant
I sang this on a demo album about a million years ago. Day is Done….Peter, Paul and Mary….Raymond, this one’s for you:
i always thought this was an interesting aspect what did everyone do on what they thought was going to be there last day on earth ?
i got up early, went to school, hung out with all my friends, came home,ate my favourite take away, cleaned my room, showered, wrote a note, took a handful of pills and went to sleep. unfortunately it obviously didnt work and i woke up in the middle of the night in severe pain regretting what i had done
i thought I was doing well. I thought I had been able to overcome some aspects of depression and hit art a new, better life. But one bad day brought me back to the point I was at over a year ago. One. Bad. Day.
Still angry at myself for going back on my promise of no water. I’m going to probably what’s seemingly rambling but I need to get things off my chest. I got a message asking me about medications. I’ve been doing medications since I was in my early teens and NONE of them have helped they just leave me walking around like a zombie. Its amazing how many people can use the word “unstable” towards someone and not realize how much that word can hurt. Truthfully, YOU never knew of my bi-polar disorder, why? because I”M FUCKING ASHAMED of it. Then people use that word that […]
A switch.
That’s how I’d describe my mentality.
During the day I’m this bubbly ignorant person who brushes everything off of her shoulders. Smiling all the time. I’m not even sure if the smiles are real or polite. Anyways, that’s how I am during the day. But at night? It’s a complete flip. The opposite of my “Day” self. Like a switch. It’s as if your lights turn on and the deepest darkest corners of my mind come to light. And when the artifcial light goes out, those thoughts do too. I don’t know.
the only memories I have of my childhood are of my father, telling me how worthless I am, calling me horrible names when I was so young. I was 16 when I was finally allowed to make the choice to never see him again, up until then court orders had me there. I was mentally and even physically abused for what should have been my childhood. When someone tells you something so often for so long you really start to believe them “maybe I will never mean anything to anyone, not even my own father loves me” I tried so hard for so long to […]
She cried in her own hands, asking what did she do to deserve this much pain. This pain has been stuck inside her for too long, too long for her to believe that this is the punishment for something she has done wrong. But then she thought for no more than a second before realizing, ” I don’t deserve this, I deserve better!”
For every single person who is suffering from internal pain, we deserve better than this.
No person should have to endure such hurt. We are all human, born sinners, who have a lifetime to make things right.
If you are anything like me – someone […]
She is 20 years old. She is an Italian & African-American Female.
She goes to school full-time. She she has no time for a job.
She is TRYING the BEST she can to make something of herself, to make a living for herself, so she can live comfortably above the poverty line that her & her family have been stuck in for years.
But she is tired.
She’s looked for God and she believes she found him. She’s seen him in her dreams, she’s seen him hide in nature, she feels him when the sun comes up. Crazy as it sounds, she believes he is all around, and she […]
If you don’t know by now I’m forced into the life of a loner I cant ever go outside my house without my parents constantly calling my phone every five seconds half the time I wanna put a bullet in my brain and end it all so I don’t have to feel this cruel reminder of what I could have but never will and the other half I wanna kill my mom she has done nothing but hurt me she has let me get severely bullied victimized and traumatized and PAYS someone to give a shit and my father who is a wanna be low down […]
Withdrawn.
Hi Guys,
This is just going to be short and sweet. First off I am sorry that I didn’t post my weekly post yesterday. I completely forgot and I was so tired. Anywho here I am. Yay….
How are you guys?
How am I? Um well… Not so good. It’s so tempting to go… It’s so tempting to say goodbye… It’s so tempting…
Here’s a poem:
My feet hit the soft carpet
I look up at myself
Tears streaming down my face
I look at myself in the mirror for the last time.
I brush my hair to make it look good
I put the brush down […]
Hi Guys,
It’s seems like it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you. Doesn’t it? It’s been only a week…
How are you guys? Hopefully better than I am…
How am I? Physically: Sore Mentally: Broken
My physical state… Is just sore… I’m so exhausted these days… I’m tired and I just don’t know what to do… My headaches aren’t that constant or daily, but I do get them often… I have more panic attacks these days… I have more break downs these days… I don’t know guys… I just don’t know anymore.
My mental state… […]