My husband and i were together 3 years before we decided to have a baby. He started cheating on me when I was 5 months pregnant. He left the week of Thanksgiving. Our baby was born early march. Ive tried so hard for my baby boy to make things work with his daddy. I feel like ive failed my son. I had made plans. Wrote a letter to my son. Set a date. Our anniversary…vicodin and alcohol. Then i realized im all my baby has. He doesn’t have his daddy he needs his mommy…but now were talking divorce…hes decided he wants to be in his […]
Tag:
deal
Positive thinking / radical self love
I saw this linked on facebook yesterday and agree with it 100%. Even my friend that I’m in love with, who has a real bad deal in life, believes this think positive crap. I’ve always said I’m living proof you can work as hard as possible, give all of yourself, put out 1000% and still not get shit in return. Seriously, go read the article because I can’t put it any better.
Hi. Never done this before but my best guy friend has been going through issues since he was younger…he’s 24 now and can not deal any longer…I’ve been doing my best to talk to him, show him people still care even if it’s only me but it’s not talking him down any longer, he’s tired and ready to go. I am not completely sure what to do or how to go about this. I know he’s hurting but it has to be a better way than this. He has siblings, people who love him and are actively there but it’s not enough…confused friend at the […]
I’m new here..
I need to spill how i feel: alone. I recently graduated from uni and moved back to LA with my parents. Ive realized that i have no friends. And the few people i believed were my friends dont seem to want to see me. 6 months ago my bf of 6 years broke up with me. Its been so hard to deal with. I guess its better since i was always dragging him down with my sadness. My eating disorder (bulimia) is worse than ever. Ive been this way 7 years. I have been trying to get treatment but the treatment centers are […]
It’s not like I want to die, don’t get me wrong. I just…. want everything to stop. I want the world to wait for me to figure things out and then move on. Of course that can’t happen, and I know that.
Sleep, though, is something that helps. I want to sleep for a while. Or, forever. I want to go to bed and not wake up. Sounds like a good way to go. I want to forget everything, wind back time to where I wasn’t like this. Just a few months ago I was normal. Happy. I made a mistake, something that’s not a […]
A while ago I made the commitment to myself that if I can not change my state of mind, my hate of myself, and find the release needed to deal with this pain… I would get what I always wanted for my birthday.
Have been working really hard at being mindful of my thoughts. Why I feel that way, what causes it, and who is the biggest influence in my life.
Reaching out, puts so much on that person I love, how can they be honest?!? Know my thoughts good and bad, and know what needs to change, but who I am won’t allow it.
Can’t help but […]
What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances […]
I was gonna write a post that explained all the different shit I’ve had to deal with in my life…
….but i think I’ll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs instead!
*twiddle twiddle*
Latly I’ve been having these feelings that suicide is the way to go. It started out with depression and has since moved into these bad moments of me just feeling so horibble I just go straight to suicide. Its hard for me to open up, I’m Marine so to all my friends and familyni am su pposed to be the big strong one. The one who has it together. When its far from the truth. I recently took some leave to see my friends and family and while I had some good times, it wss hard to enjoy others since I was in a trap […]
That worthless feeling the knowing that its true. I can’t help but to feel so dumb for holding on to hope I should have went through with it. I should have known that it was too good to be true. Now I’m past depressed and I’m filled with so much hate I cant fucking deal with myself.. They say live life with no regrets but it still living life that I regret ????
The moon and I have a unique relationship. I’m a cancer and cancers are called “moon babies”. I often stare at the moonlight. It’s fascinating to me. My dream life would be sitting on the moon, in the pouring rain, in quietness with my dog. I daydream about life being that simple.
I was up all night, feeling like the worst person ever. And why? Because I’ve lost my SS card and birth certificate. I was/ am mad because I had had it in a box, sorted that box and now, poof! Lost them!
I am going to be okay. I always am. I even called my crisis line and told them all my problems and all about how I was going to fix them. I must be superman. Well, superwoman. But ya know…
All the negative feelings are from long ago. So sad inside. Hurting so much and nobody, I mean nobody knows in my family. My friends […]
It’s a constant battle up in my head, and I’m tired of people putting me down and calling me stupid for something that they don’t have to deal with themselves.
Idk. I’ve been doing very well lately with college and diet.
I meet this guy 3 months ago, thought he was my friend but we become closer and it didn’t work out at the end. Too bad I know him and his intentions enough to realize how predictable can be everything when it comes to misunderstandings. I guess I don’t like him that much if i can’t deal with the whole situation. I didn’t wanted to be with him in a romantic way anyway, it ruined everything, wish i would said “no” at the very first chance. We had a good laugh though.
So, again, i meet […]
Well, I just learned a person I loved for a long time has taken their own life. We were together for a few years in the mid 90’s. I found out about the drug use, the selling of drugs, the lies and cheating. I ended the relationship. Today I got an email. Yet another year of arrests for selling drugs, more time in jail. That’s where it ended…..by hanging.
I never stopped loving and caring what happened. But I could not deal with all of it. I had Mom to care for as she was lost to dementia. I had my own body to care for […]
It’s hard to deal with this as a Christian. I feel so guilty…
by SilentScream
written by SilentScream
I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I
No one will ever want you
When you move out, don’t come back
You’re trash
You’ll never be anything
You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?
And did
locking him in a closet
making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
“Spanking” us until they saw blood
And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I […]
I don’t know. I’m really different. I have a lot of problems with myself. I always have to battle my inner self. I mean that’s something I always have to deal with. I always have to fight it.
My emotions play a big role in my life. In a way they pretty much control everything I do or say. Like if I’m placed in a sad situation my pity and my own problems affect what I do or say. I cry or I feel my “hole” opening.
My “hole” is literally a really dark hole I feel right between my throat and my chest that opens up […]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately and maybe life isn’t for everyone. I mean life is too hard for me. I put myself in my parents shoes a thousand times and I just don’t understand why they treat me the way that they do. Even more questioning is why I care about how they feel…but I admit I do care how they feel. I know what it’s like to hurt and I wouldn’t wish that even on those who caused me that pain. And i know that it won’t hurt them.They have other kids and already have grandkids from my half sisters. There is actually […]
I hate living here. When my aunt’s family comes over to stay for a few days I swear she becomes so fake. She only talks to me when she wants me to do something or when I say something they stop to listen and then carry on with their conversations like I don’t even exist. I fucking hate that. She is so fucking fake when people come over. I can’t deal. It makes me feel like shit. Well, it’s not like she cares. Either way no one does. What’s the point of giving a crap about people when they don’t give a shit about you. […]
I am too worn out. It is almost impossible to even stand up out of bed in the morning. My family has rejected me, and I lost my parents to alcohol. I myself have tried to get sober but can’t deal with the mental stress. My last year was spend with my girlfriend struggling with alcoholism. After putting her through the third rehab and countless nights worrying she cheated on me with someone she met there and ran off. I literally gave her every last drop of life I had left and lost all my friends in the process. I went into deep depression and […]