The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
Tag:
Depression
MY PAIN SURPASSES MY COPING RESOURCES….that nailed it!!!!
IÂ have more pain than resources to cope with them!
IÂ am working on that!!!
 Friday I saw a counsellor
 I expressed my need to come up with a “””game plan””” for my life
 She helped in connnecting me to a women’s organization who will help with resumes, job hunts, following leads, ( because to my muddled brain this is the crux of my depression, not to mention being off work with a shattered leg)
Please God, help me stay focused and able to hang on until I get to that appointment on Tuesday.
Everyone always says I am so strong but for heavens sake people,  it is a front […]
Since i moved to the Dominican Republic i feel as is am no longer in control of my emotions. Back home when i got angry or depress i would just go in my room and hurt myself . Here i cant do that, i don’t want them to see me this way.  My mom says by them seeing me like this it will make it much easier for me to get help, but that’s what i just don’t get.  I don’t know what i need help with, i don’t know if these feelings that i have are just depression or something else. I wish i understood how depression […]
I’ve kept this facade of being happy in school for so long, so when I was telling my friend about this (she’s kind of my best friend), she asked me is this how I really am?
Like happy( that’s how I come across in school) and can make people laugh because of my randomness.
But I told her at home I’m not happy because everything is tense and well… NOT happy…
I wish I could tell her EVERYTHING…but I literally CAN’T, like I get this cold felling that spreads from my finger tips everywhere. And I can’t always rely on people to listen to […]
I’m so glad of being here again. I was missing this, the people and the entries… everything. I feel really happy right now because I missed everyone.
Haven’t written in a while. It’s because I was busy, being a bad person. I already wrote a note to my imaginary friend (he killed himself a few weeks ago) apologizing because the things I’ve done. I’m sorry, I feel guilty. I think it wasn’t such a big deal but anyway… it was just wrong.
Talking about something else, I tried marijuana  last tuesday. It was an interesting experience, I wasn’t completely high but I did was feeling the effects of the drug. […]
I haven’t fully accepted my depression, sometimes I’m like “maybe I’m just upset about this or this” or “I just need to do more”, but I think the reason can’t accept it is because to me depression feels like being left behind while everyone else is moving on as silly as that may sound. I feel like more awful than usual, I’m not sure if it has to do with the weather getting colder or the unexpected days off from school but I’ve spent most of my days sleeping curled up in a blanket ,awake with insomnia at night ,and eating a lot of junk […]
A few weeks ago, my friend told me that she had bulimia. The next week I told my friends that I had depression and cut. I learned that another friend had the same problems. They are both getting help, but I still make sure sure that she is not left alone after she has eaten high calorie foods. I find myself looking at my friend’s wrists daily. Recently, I told them that I was hearing a voice that was telling me to kill myself and the look on their faces scared me. I never realized that one month could change everything. I don’t go to […]
everythings supposed to be perfect. i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but… i still want to cut and puke. i cant eat normal even though he begs me to. im still depressed. i still want to die. i still feel fucking empty like i dont exist…. WHY? this was supposed to fix everything having my best friend in the whole universe as my boyfriend but somethings wrong. i just wanna starve, cut and die but he wont let me.
i dont know how much longer i can last
Hi, my names Cathy and im 14 years old. 😉
I was cyber bullied a year ago. Never thought it would ever happen to me. Since then i have very low steam on my self. I have very strong depression. I had looked at the world very different then. I would be one of those people who would mind their own business and just be happy for who they are. But.. I don’t think i will ever return to being that girl. One of the reason to this are because…. the bully goes to my school. ;L I see her everyday, she is in my […]
The past 5 months have been the most miserable in my entire life. I’ve been through some really horrible things, but nothing compares to how I feel right now. After getting really depressed and having horrible anxiety attacks after my college graduation, I got physically sick, was misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder, given anti-depressants that made me extremely ill, attempted suicide and landed in the psych ward. While in the psych ward, my boyfriend at the time completely stopped talking to me. I got out of the hospital, broke up with him, moved out of the country and started a new job, but got really, […]
I wish I had a normal life with parents and going to parties and having fun.
I wish I could see my mum again, at least one last time to say goodbye.
I wish I didn’t have anxiety problems, depression and OCD.
I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be happy all the time.
I wish I could actually meet my brothers and sisters and let them know I actually exist.
I wish I had a proper family, not just an aunt and an uncle.
I wish I had people around me who would understand me.
I wish my mum was here so she could hug me and tell me everything […]
These two girls started trying to have a conversation with me today. They were asking me why I was always so depressed and what they could do to help. They were being very nice. I guess they figured I wasn’t a bad guy? Who knows. Anyway…
One of the girls started talking about how she was depressed about 3 or 4Â years ago (which meant she was about 13) because she had moved from her home town to where she is now. She was talking about how she missed her friends and now she could only talk on the phone with them or communicate through the internet. […]
While searching “how to kill yourself” I came upon this site. I debated over the fact on wether I should join. Then I did … Well to begin I would like to explain why I was searching that in the first place. Idk I’m just Tired of my whole life completely . This is my first post. And well yeah my life pretty much sucks , I’m getting devoured by depression and anxiety..I hate myself I’m a piece of shit seriously .. if I post later on you’ll get to know why. ..
Im M/30 live in the Toronto area, grew up I was relatively quiet, I had friends, was popular on the football team. I moved away to a smaller city, I have no friends now, I can’t remember the last time I had sex without money changing hands. I have not been in a relationship in 15 years. The only positive thing in my life is my job, and that is starting to fall apart because of my anxiety, depression, and alcoholism. I can’t remember the last time I hugged someone or had someone outside my family tell me that they loved me.
I can’t keep going […]
I just had a complete meltdown. I had been thinking about suicide for the longest time. I felt like a failure, like my life wasn’t worth it. So I took some codeine pills. It made me feel like I was dead for a while. And then I just threw it all up. I fail at everything. I can’t even kill myself. Life just isn’t worth living for me. I feel so alone.
all I want is for someone to ask me if I’m OK and know that I’m lying when I say that I’m fine
written by ifsomeonecared...
Life has been pretty hard lately. I’ve been really sad quite often  for pretty much no reason and I never want to get out of bed, like ever. I try doing homework and then I decide to just sit there staring or surf the web or go back to sleep. It scares me, I don’t want to feel this way. I wish I could talk to someone about the way I feel but I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can trust.
It’s worse when I’m tired, I just sit there and hardly talk at all and feel terrible and all I want is for someone […]
Yesterday I was taking  a walk to clear my thoughts, it was very windy and I noticed that there was more leaves on the ground and nearly all the trees had changed color and it hit me that time was passing by and I felt like I was spending my time wisely, as I kept walking  I noticed the streets felt emptier than they usually are and it was the strangest feeling but I felt like the only person on Earth, then I had an epiphany that I wasn’t getting anywhere in my efforts of trying to get better and that everyday I repeat the […]
Excuse the paragraphs if its too long I am terribly sorry. I just need to get this out before it eats me alive. I dont know how people would feel about me afterwards but whatever happens will happen.
Hello. Im 16 years old and I started hurting myself when I was 13.
I had friends as a kid. My family was okay and everything seemed well. Though in the 5th grade thats when I really started to think about things about people. Thats when I started to see people as liars and fakes. Everyone was a liar and I couldnt trust anyone.
When I entered […]
Well, this is my first post on here, so might as well tell you why I’m here.
I had the perfect life, weren’t many people in it but those I had were the best. I depended mostly on my best friend and boyfriend. I was doing great with studying. I didn’t speak to my parents much but when I did they were friendly and supportive.
I had been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but it felt like forever, which isn’t a bad thing. We rarely argued and when we did we were quick to forgive each other. We often talked about the future and I convinced […]
i’m so lost right now, i feel like i’m all alone in the world. like i’m here but i’m invisible. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up, not trying anymore. I’m just about done.
I found out today the reason my boyfriend doesn’t have feeling for me anymore, its not because i was forced to move so now we don’t see eachother, its because of another girl, my ex best friend too. it breaks me down, i feel like its my fault, like i wasn’t good enough, even though i put in all i have, i told him everyday how […]