And the girl said I really like you
and depression said no she doesnt nobody likes you dont trust her
and the guy said I like you too
and the girl said I dont like you
and the blade said i can make you smile.
Tag:
Depression
I hate living but I’m too afraid to die. I hate myself for it.
by HangedKiller
written by HangedKiller
Hi, I’m HangedKiller, and this is my story.
Obviously, HangedKiller is not my real name. I don’t know why I’m talking about this on the internet, but there’s something screaming inside of me.
I attempted suicide by hanging the summer of 2009.
Asian families have no room for your opinions or your dreams. I became accustomed to the ‘sit down and shut up’ routine.
Becoming used to being nothing is so horrible.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t live up to their expectations. No matter how much I lived for their ideals, it started falling apart in sophomore year of high school. I was a 4.0 student until then, and then depression hit […]
I just can’t take it anymore. I got through high school, came to college expecting things to change, and they were getting better. Then all at once my mood starts shifting again. The bad thoughts come back. All I do is drink my pain away, but tonight I’m staying sober and all I can think about is just ending it. I hate waking up, I hate people, I hate myself most of all. I hate who I am, how I act, and my life outlook. My depression is fueled by the anger I have for what a piece of shit I am. I really really […]
There’s been a lot of suicides lately in my town. It brings back my own depression and having no one there to vent to, I am now turning to this site to let my frustation out. I’ve been lurking and I now feel strong enough to finally let everything out. I don’t think I’ve ever told my whole story, from birth to present times, in one sitting. So here I am, this is me, and this is my story.
My mother had trouble conceiving and after a miscarriage, I was born. I was her pride and joy. She wanted me to be perfect, like her; straight A’s, […]
i read everyone’s posts and i know you think you are in pain or have it bad, but you don’t know what that is compared to me.
i am suffering from a strange kind of insomnia where i never feel tired. i can go days on end without sleep and this has been going on for three months. somehow i don’t have the ability to feel tiredness, so i have no desire to sleep. my brain however has been losing its ability to think or remember anything new. the old stuff is still there, and i look normal, but i can’t think when i need to. […]
once again ive broken to pieces. how pathetic is that? im not suppose to break down. what the hell am i suppose to do? i just want to crawl into a dark hole away from everybody and just stay there. can i do that? no i cant. everytime i hide away i get dragged out and forced to face the fact that my life sucks. yea, sure there are plenty of things i can do to make it better, but it just seems pointless. everytime i try to do something that i want to do or that i think would be fun i get wierd […]
Its come to my conclusion that i am going to try and off myself again.Im scared to death cause its a past method im using one that almost killed me.Im scared to death of doing this.But that little short lived happy time is over.Its left me and its always going to come and then not be there and i cant stand that.I am filth thats all i am while im alive.
The method will be successful this time.I would check myself into a mental hospital but there all crappy except the one i recently came from.That is to far away to go to.
I dont […]
I’m blind.
Being friends with someone is hard when they are blind, depressed, and at times has a temper. But even me, yes, even I, need someone to love.
I had a friend one time, but she’s gone away now and has decided to leave me. It hurts so much that my one true friend is gone, but that’s just life. It really doesn’t help my depression.
But what should I do anymore? 6 days out of 7 I’m hurting, and noone knows because I don’t know who I can tell anymore.
I’ve given up on suicide because I’ve tried it twice and it failed. […]
It’s difficult wanting to die, but knowing you’ll never go through with it.
My first thoughts of suicide were in 7th grade. I’m not sure why. It’s been over 5 years since then and though I’ve gone through several long periods of happiness and feeling content, those thoughts still remain.
I’ve nothing left to live for, I get up out of bed in the morning because I’m awake.
Honestly, the only thing that’s prevented me from killing myself is my family. They’re good people. They don’t deserve to live the rest of their lives with that in the back of their minds.
It’s just so hard sometimes.
I mean, I […]
Have you ever had someone you want to be happy for.But emotionally they just drain you.Thats how i feel.My friends pregnant.Her husbands a jerk. Shes to much of a child herself to be having a baby. And me im trying not to be the enemy and support her. But its emotionally draining cause we argue then she comes back looking for support and its just hard. I know i need to distance myself from this situation but i cant turn her down. Meanwhile im freaking depressed. Sure i havent hurt myself yet but it seems like im just avoiding the inevitable.Around this time my depression […]
Note: If I seem like I’m holding back it’s because I’m a little paranoid because my mom found the notes I hid on my laptop 2 days ago
One year to 11 months ago I started feeling empty inside  it was kind out of nowhere, when I started school (i had just started high school) I was in a performing arts program and took dance during the weeks and after a while into the school year( not so far in late September) I decided to quit and drop everything because it was getting overwhelming and I was losing interest in it even though I enjoyed these things […]
I havent been on here in awhile but now i need to come back because my world is turning back upside down.The depression is bad and for once theres not a real reason.I just feel drained.My meds were making me hyper in the beginning.I had a sense of happiness and peace for just a moment and now well its gone.Im back to being the me that i dont want to be.The me who feels like a failure and nobody cares.The me that feels depressed.
Im trying to wait befroe doing anything this time.Because my familys going to disneyland together and none of us […]
So, my story continues. Â I’ve got spinal problems causing chronic pain which I have lived with for years, but there’s no cure. Â Just strong strong painkillers. Â I’ve got mental health ‘issues’, to put it nicely. Â I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, to treatment-resistant depression, OCD and PTSD. Â Borderline personality disorder tendancies, with obsessional-compulsive personality disorder. Â My current diagnonsense is Bipolar II with complex PTSD, chronic pain and chronic suicidal ideation.
Recently though, this chronic level of suicidal thinking has escalated into something much deeper and darker. Â I am back to believing that things definitively cannot get better; I cannot get better as I am so […]
Please read my entire post before commenting…
My whole life has been me slipping in and out of depression, so I know what it’s like finally feel renewed and pull out of depression. That said, I’ve never felt this bad before about myself… it’s unprecedented for me to feel THIS bad. You know how people say they’ve hit rock bottom? Well, to give you perspective, I feel like rock bottom was the thing that hit me on the head, that’s how low I am.
So what happened to get me this low? It’s a list of things that have piled on me. 1) I only have $30 […]
The ONLY person who actually made me forget about eveerything that made depressed. The only person who could actually make me feel good. The only person who I enjoyed talking to. The only person who I looked forward to talking to, is now “taken away from me”. Our only way of communication was through texting. My mother, who I now despise deeply, decided to take my phone. I feel like I am at my breaking point. I feel like I won’t know how to deal with this on my own. Yes, it’s sad I relied on this person for my happiness, but that’s just how […]
I hate my life so much! I’ve been in and out of the hospital for trying to kill myself for years now! Things were good for awhile but then it all got taken away! I’m tired of now being the ugly,fat, single girl that no one really likes and will be alone forever! Everyone my age is getting married and having babies and I’m just sitting here on my fat ass living at my mom’s house!!! And I’m 27! I’ve tried but just can’t ever seem to survive this world! Even when I am skinny and my depression is doing better it all just falls […]
Im out of my meds, and havent taken them for a couple of days, and im freaking the hell out. I need my fucking zolft . I feel like im trying to swollow a fucking knife right now, I want to cry , can you belive that? Im a guy im not supposed to cry, im supposed to just lock that shit away but with out drugs im fucked. I feel like ripping of my face or throwing everything on the floor and re-organize for hours(last time I arranged the house for 2 fucking days) Fuck OCD and Fuck depression and Fuck anxiety. I am […]
It’s a weird feeling. The first few days just felt hectic. Bit sick, but nothing too bad. Woozy more than anything. It seems to have stopped now though.
The side effects seem minimal so far. I can’t stop yawning. For hours after i take it, i yawn constantly. And feel a bit high, like my stomach is floating and i’m kind of doing a space walk. Been zoning in and out alot, not thinking about anything in particular but just staring into space. Other than that and mild sickness, things seem good on that front.
The biggest change is my mood. I seem incapable of negative thought. […]
Ever lived my life or spent on minute in my shoes? No! Well then please, tell me why you judge me like you do. Life is a dream upon which death awakens us… Not all dreams are good… not all dreams are bad… Do you want to wait for one’s death to understand or to care?
Each day everyone of us face many obstacles at almost every walk of life. Sometimes it’s hard to explain. We go through stress, anger, hurt and pain. There’s moments of sadness, frustration, and even depression. Sometimes we feel incredibly insane. Then there’s moments when some of us feel like giving […]
I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done […]