Sorry to bother everyone but I am sick of life one more wrong thing and I will kill myself, I just deactivated my facebook, sick of people’s crap…
Tag:
Depression
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]
Is the pleasures of the afterlife being good to you? Or is religion correct and are you suffering for being who you were just like you were here? I never understood why you went back on your word right in front of me that night and did what you did, but now I do. The loneliness, betrayal, judgment and depression all got to you. You felt like no one understood you, and I thought you were wrong, but now I realize that you were right, no one did understand you or your struggles, not even me. I’m still not sure if I did the right […]
Words can’t describe how much pain I’m in. I love him so much and he couldn’t give two shits about me. He had said he loved me and cared about me and than started acting like I don’t exist. I don’t know what to do. This hurts so bad. I really can’t live without him. He’s all I think about. We broke up in April and ever since than I’ve been going through the worst bout of depression I’ve ever experienced. I really cant take this anymore. I met an awesome guy who wants to take me out, but I’m not going to give him […]
I finally feel okay. For once in my life I don’t feel like the world is against me. I don’t feel happy as such but I am okay. Will this last? Or is it just today? Does this mean I could be getting better from my depression?
when I’m really considering doing it (off depression this time),
people I haven’t talked to in months randomly PM me (they don’t know I think of suicide) or I’ll meet people I haven’t seen in months/years on the streets
maybe we’re all connected after all .. too bad it no longer means much to me
I’m starting to believe that if I go through with it, it will actually work .. free as a fucking bird
no more room for doubt .. I gotta clear my mind of beliefs that would compromise self-imposed deliverance
Just want to get this of my chest, i am suicidal, have been for about 6 months now. Feels like im grasping at straws here.
This is the story. I grew up in a home with alot of conflict and negative energy, but also with alot of love and care. There where specially one very grave voilent episode when i was a child, and also other incidentes, but not of so grave character. Dispait of this me and my siblings grew up and did very good in school and sports, but i don´t think any of us was and still are (naturally) unaffected by the nature […]
So this will be a long one. I am 20 years old and a trainee hairdresser, I had Meningitis when I was 4, I live with my boyfriend and my housemates in a house share, I have depression and anxiety and I cannot cope with my emotions. I suppose things started to be difficult for me when I was 8 years old, I had a pyscological issue where everytime I got in the car I needed to go to the toilet desperately, this was also at a time when my Dad hit me quite frequently. I saw a therapist about the problem and it was all […]
Every morning, no matter what, I wake up feeling pain. Even if the previous day was great, Â I wake up with sadness. Â I suppose this is just the nature of depression, but I wish I could at least wake up feeling hopeful, even if the rest of my day is terrible.
I’m tired of hiding behind a fake smile. I’m tired of having all the panic attacks. I’m tired of dreaming of you every single night. I’m tired of waking up each day, hating myself for losing you. I’m tired of this 5 month long depression. I’m tired of living this unhappy life. I think tonight will be the night. Just remember, not a second has gone by that I haven’t loved you. I’m sorry about being that egotistical jerk I was in the past. I’ve changed, but it’s just way too late. I just can’t do this anymore, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long. This […]
i am a year 12 student, whom for background knowldeg did have depression for most of my highschool years, had constant thoughts throught daily life of killing myself. I have also been through 4 different situations where someone has told me they are going to commit suicide and they have basically thrown it all on me and i was fighting each time hysteric tears, because a couple were before i even thought of such horrid things and then the other couple were after i had gone through with massive grieveing of my bestfriend who commited suicide. i didnt even have the chance to save him. […]
I don’t know why I am so alone in every way, well actually I suppose I do, it’s just that I have been repressing it for far too long- out it comes now, oh dear:
The people who tell you that things change when people grow up and you go from lower to higher schools and onwards are not always right. People might change, but their attitudes towards those who were once 11 year old outcasts remains… and even if it isn’t verbalised, hostility is an emotion easy to pick up on when directed at you, it truly is. Do you know what it’s like […]
My life is giving me whip lash.
Every morning, I wake up to a living hell I call home. I hate home. Home isn’t home to me. Home means miserable and uncomfortable feelings. Home is locking myself in my room, crying. I race to get ready for school making the best effort to look at least decent. Khakis and a green shirt, everyday. Once I herd my brothers into the car, late again, no breakfast, and being called a ***** by even my 12 year old brother. The drive to school is always one of my most depressing moments of the day. The music is loud and […]
I came here with a purpose and left with a ramble that I hope is helpful in some way or another
written by NotReallyHereAtAll
When I saw the words ‘someday, all this pain will be worthwhile’ one time, then many other times on countless blogs, I would just shake my head, and silently disagree that my sadness would come to nothing, except perhaps recovery, then more nothing. But I recently realised that my pain has helped one aspect of my life: I am writing again. And what I am writing is good. Sure, it’s just a few very short and broken stories with loose plots and screwed up people, but that’s okay. Because what I’ve written is good. It’s not happy, but it is real and I’m pleased with […]
Isn’t that what the world is built on? Isn’t that what life is all about? The pain of existing. The suffering we succumb to, day after day.
I’ve been asked why I don’t want children. It’s a simple concept. I’m not a cruel, unjust person. I care too much. I love too much. And I simply will not bring another being into this world, so I can watch them suffer as I suffered. Hurt, as I hurt. I will not bring life into this world and watch it die. Watch it be eaten alive by society. By the media. By the government.
I will not sit back […]
So here is what is up. I’ve been in the hospital for a few days, I’ve seen sum doctors and a therapist. I went to my new therpist and doctor today and had very good results. . They kno that the feelings and the depression has been caused by all the nuro/seizure/brain issues I’ve had all my life. Plus all the meds I have taken. They are also believing the auras I’ve been having are silent seizures, which scares me so please keep me in ur prayers.. I have a wonderful therapist that is helping me thru sum issues in my life as well as […]
Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy†days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]
We have been broken up for three months now, the 21st of this month will only be a short year that went by since we first dated. Three months ago I gave up everything I had (car , job and friends) to move with you 3000 miles across the country in hopes to find and continue our happiness together. Last night i asked why we really broke up and you told me that you hated me, even now that were not together somehow i still get under your skin and bug you. Ever since we have been broken up life feels pointless, its not the […]
i don’t know who i am anymore. i don’t know where i’m going, i dont think i want to go anywhere. i want everything to end. now. i’ve come to the dead end, the end of no return. i no longer know what it’s like to be happy. happy- what is that word? what does that even mean? i wish i could wake up in the morning and love my life and love everything around me. but i dont. i wake up hating the person i am in the mirror, i hate the sun, and the flowers, and the trees. i hate the day time. […]
I’m so numb, I wish I knew when I was going to be completely happy. I hate all this sadness, constant hurt and pain, constant dullness. I am depressed and no one even knows. That hurts the most.