Tag:

deserve

So many beautiful souls here

by Dorothy Gale 7/15/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

and it’s so painful to see you in such despair.

That this must be our cross to bear, what brings us together as perfect strangers. The black dog on our shoulder. Wish it could be anything else for all of us.

I spent all night last night reading through posts and comments. When I came in I was crying for myself, hoping not to feel the end of my rope once more. I went to bed crying for others, hoping they can somehow find their way back up their rope, and if not, that they can find in death the peace they so crave and deserve. I […]

7/15/2015 2 comments

here I am again

by anonymous 7/10/2015

written by anonymous

So here i am again, in my bed at 3 in the morning bawling my fucking eyes out with a bandage around my arm. What did I do to deserve any of this everyone I love just hurts me, nobody cares I’d be as well to just end it allnot like anyone’d give a fuck about my aabsence

7/10/2015 1 comment

Free

by hussofhips 7/7/2015

written by hussofhips

What did I do to deserve this life?
Im so sorry
I just want it to end
I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to think
I just want to be free
Is that honestly to much to ask?

7/7/2015 1 comment

abandoned

by silvermoon 7/5/2015

written by silvermoon

if your ptsd ever got to the point where you constantly heard his voice

or compulsively checked email and fb hoping someone cared enough to say hello

no one had your back, no family

bad memories only self hatred hating everything about yourself and your life

nothing did the trick

and all you saw was terror and homelessness around the corner

if even walking you had panic attacks and felt paranoid

if you felt they would soon come and “take you away”

if you felt you didnt deserve to live

if you had night terrors and heard actual voices, if you couldnt have a real partner

if everything you did was futile and left you […]

7/5/2015 0 comment

I wish I were dead.

by disgusting 6/30/2015

written by disgusting

I’m at wits end. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve happiness. I don’t deserve a job I can live off of. I don’t deserve a place to live. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve anything apparently. I try so hard, but I’m worthless, useless, ugly, no one would ever want me. I know I shouldn’t do this but I want to prove that I’m right, and show you just what an ugly, hideous, wretched monster I am. I’m not mad at the person I love. I’m mad at the universe or any higher power that made me this way. Why make me dream […]

6/30/2015 9 comments

by Nihilism000 6/30/2015

written by Nihilism000

I hate my life, I hate who I am, I hate that I ever existed here. I know full well I will never amount to anything,.my family thinks I’m so smart, and I go along, no I’m not smart…if I was I wouldn’t be in this mess I’m in.

I really don’t deserve this life, I don’t deserve to be alive. I don’t why I’m saying this, I just had a moment of thought. I have alot of time alone and it gives me too much time inside my own head.

There seems to be no way to break this, I see the future as hope…because I […]

6/30/2015 2 comments

I’m sick of keeping to myself.

by Savakiss 6/27/2015

written by Savakiss

I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Everyone thinks im “The life of the party” and that im bubbly and happy. But i hate going out, i don’t like being around people, I’d be perfectly okay with being left alone to lay in bed, go to sleep and never wake up again. I’ve had my ups and downs, but i can’t pick myself up. It’s getting hard to fake the smile and I think my friends are starting to notice, I don’t want them to notice that I’m unhappy, I don’t want them to think that they have to help. I’m not […]

6/27/2015 5 comments

A Few Last Words From The Biggest Fuck-Up On This Site

by AKidWithAName 6/26/2015

written by AKidWithAName

Does anyone else here feel like two different people, or am I alone? I don’t know anymore.

There’s the me that realizes life is fantastic and pretty awesome, the side of me that tells me to enjoy life while I have it. Then there’s the side of me that is realistic and tells me the honest truth: I am a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t deserve all the wonderful people in my life. I only screw things up. I am forgiven too often. I wish I could give my life to someone who deserved […]

6/26/2015 4 comments

by AKidWithAName 6/25/2015

written by AKidWithAName

Well, if anyone cares, here it is:

When I was in 5th grade (age 10), my father was deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months. During these 6 months, my mother drank every night. Because she didn’t take care of me or my siblings, I attempted to take care of them to the best of my ability. Needless to say, I failed miserably. We also didn’t go to church at all during these 6 months, because our mother didn’t take us. When my dad got back, I got in trouble for not raising my siblings correctly and not taking them to church […]

6/25/2015 6 comments

by Nihilism000 6/23/2015

written by Nihilism000

This post is gone.

6/23/2015 28 comments

by godbless 6/17/2015

written by godbless

I don’t think things could be much worse,
My “life” is a curse.
I wear these cross earrings and necklace to feel closer to God,
But I don’t deserve to–I’m such a fraud.
I’ll try my best,
To not make too much of a mess. Father’s day is coming soon, I don’t want to make it to then, I want to be with the moon.

God blessed me with life, And I’ve wasted all 16 years, I‘ll soon face my final […]

6/17/2015 2 comments

I can’t stand it

by disgusting 6/17/2015

written by disgusting

I know I posted earlier, and I am afraid it IS coming very soon. But I just have to get it off my chest.

I don’t deserve to work my ass off on 8-10 hour days for 3 hours of pay just to come “home” to a place I have to leave in a week, with nowhere to go after the next week, with my jobs on the line at risk of losing all income, just to cry all god damn evening until I finally pass out for the night.

I deserve a full time job that I can live off of.

I deserve a place to live.

I […]

6/17/2015 2 comments

Hate myself so much

by selfhater 6/12/2015

written by selfhater

I know this is going to sound crazy/weird…..

I literally hate myself. I am a guy, 35 years of age, yet I have missed out on so many great things in life. As a child, and even today, I cannot bear to walk around without a shirt on etc. It has made me become anti social, because I feel I am so ugly I don’t deserve anyone to like me. Yes I am still single because of this, and have no confidence in myself what so ever. I fail at everything I do, get laughed at lot when I make a mistake, so now I never […]

6/12/2015 6 comments

Final post.

by Nihilism000 6/9/2015

written by Nihilism000

This is my final post on here, I thought it would help me. Some of the people on here are really helpful. But I know my decision now. I will go away, in a sense. I have issues befriending people. In the end however they leave, that’s ok though. They are forgiven. So is everyone else who has caused me pain, you are forgiven. I am now at peace, I feel no more pain. I have dreaded posting this, because I felt that maybe hope was somewhere. But certain events today proved to me otherwise. I know that there is no other way. I’ve no […]

6/9/2015 12 comments

Messy

by Agent Purple 5/21/2015

written by Agent Purple

Everything is messy. It’s the messed up kind of messy, the disorganized messy, and the kind to be looked down upon.

I’ve come to realize a couple things. The things I think are not truly what I feel or what I believe in or how I am. I thought that the reason I cut myself was for the rush, but all my reasons for cutting feel like excuses and they often contradict each other. Willpower- I thought it had something to do with willpower. I thought it made me feel stronger if I could withstand greater pain (I’m fully aware that that is idiotic looking at […]

5/21/2015 0 comment

I feel guilty

by genesis0987 5/20/2015

written by genesis0987

I feel guilty about everything I did and didn’t do. I’m failing so hard at life right now. I spent £150 on an exam retake, it’s in three weeks time and I’ve practically done zero revision. I was feeling fine when I paid for it, I thought I could do it.. Now.? I feel like shit, feel guilty about eating, I don’t deserve to have food. So many people have it worse than me and they don’t loose their motivation. I’m such parasite and a waste of space. I couldn’t even keep a job. My parents do too much for me. I’m too old to […]

5/20/2015 1 comment

It’s really hard to go to work.,,

by BrokenStarr 5/18/2015

written by BrokenStarr

…Every day, and act like things are normal, when you plan on ending your life in a couple weeks.

We’ve had a vacation planned. My parents are paying for most of it, and my kids really deserve it. So I’m holding out until after that.

I’d love to just blow off work, but my family will need the money (and it would be a dead giveaway…no pun intended).

~sigh~

5/18/2015 0 comment

No Will to Live: Part 2

by QuietlyBleeding 5/16/2015

written by QuietlyBleeding

Because Isaiah had no biological mother or father in his life, his grandparents and aunt claimed legal guardianship. Isaiah fears his legal guardians. Why? Because they gave him a lot of ass whoopings he did not deserve. During his elementary school years, Isaiah is bullied, teased, and harrassed constantly by his classmates and students of higher grades. Isaiah taught himself another skill besides lying. He taught himself how to withdraw himself. You see Isaiah knew that people didn’t want to be bothered with him, so he withdrew himself to reduce the chance of adding to the pain he was already enduring. One of the ways […]

5/16/2015 0 comment

Vent

by alonelybird 5/15/2015

written by alonelybird

I wanna be happy but I feel like I don’t deserve to. I just hate myself so much. I’ll never be happy. I wanna cry.

5/15/2015 2 comments

What is wrong with me?

by ChibiBrittany 5/12/2015

written by ChibiBrittany

Every day I wake up, dreading everything and anything that could happen during the day. I get to school. Everything’s fine. Walk down the hall my friends wait for the bell in and sit with them. Just fine. They start talking with each other, leaving me to my thoughts, and suddenly everything around me goes quiet. It’s like a little island. Just me. Reaching out for someone to notice the little, nerdy, fat girl who just wants to be loved. Then the bell rings and everything is fine. My friends call me to walk with them to class and we joke around as if nothing […]

5/12/2015 1 comment

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