I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to try sketching some things.
I couldn’t find an app that did what I needed, so I just drew on a sheet of paper and took a picture of it.
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I haven’t taken any art classes, and I realize this is nothing compared to the amazing things some of you have posted.
Still I’d like to keep working on some projects, and maybe I will get better as time goes on.
If nothing else, maybe this (plus my […]
Bree hasn’t left me alone all day. Neither have the voices. They’ve all been taunting me, knowing what was happening today. My Nan had a hospital appointment. She’d been getting pains in her back. Turns out, her terminal cancer has spread to her spine now. And it’s all my fault.
They warned me. The voices warned me, the Angels warned me. Bree warned me. They said they would make my family suffer if I didn’t do what they said. Now they’ve done this. This is all my fault. And everything will only get worse if I don’t listen to them.
I told everyone it would be bad […]
I woke up this morning and I immediately thought about taking up sewing or doing polymer clay crafts. I think I will. I need something to distract my mind. All I want in the day is for time to pass. I don’t really want to live, but if I have to stay awake I might as well do something to quiet my thoughts.
I was going to write a long, motivational post but i just dont have it in me right now, its mid week and im already sick of it. If only there was a way to live without conforming to societies demands that leave you broken and soulless, since when doe living a life require us to trade our souls for enough money to live. I thought there was more to life but we spend the majority of it working, doing things that dont matter for bits of paper that we give away straight away so we can have a place to live, lights to see […]
Never thought id feel so empty id split my flesh, just to feel again, just to distract from the fact that i feel dead inside; so much emptiness can only amount to hell or bliss; my desire for the afterlife, a darkness where i cant feel, wouldnt that be nice? Never thought id feel so numb i couldnt feel the pleasures in life, so dead i couldnt feel my fingertips. And pain was the closest thing, an extescy silver steel could bring. So bloody. So much fluid, expelled from my veins, passed the boarder from insanity, the bloody warmth giving back to me, drawing […]
I just have to tell someone this to get it out of my system. Lately I’ve been trying to work on myself. My life has been chaotic recently and lately I’ve been trying to take care of the chaos and I’m finally feeling a little bit better. When I used to have stress in my life I would turn to my ex to just distract myself from my life. Without him as a crutch I was feeling like I was going to lose my dam mind and like I couldn’t get a handle on anything. Me not being able to deal with stress without him […]
My anxiety is kicking in because of the words/fight that was exchanged between me and my brother he’s coming to see me and I couldn’t be more scared ya see family is aloud to come visit me I’m aloud to have my brothers kids for the night I’m having a panic attack and my breathing is slowly getting worse my lungs hurt and I’m hyperventilating I need to distract myself I’m all alone till he arrives….. Help me……
So it is currently 10:35am NZ time and doctor’s can’t do their job right gave the wrong medication and stopped breathing for a bit other then that I’m fine someone distract me…. Also in 2 hours I get transferred to the rehab unit so yay for me…FML. HALP 
the weather here has been such shit lately and that onto of everything else has thrown my mood down so much, I wish I had someone to talk to, to distract me from the mess that is my life, even if just for a night
I play piano and it really helps take my mind off of things. I’m always running out of things to play, or stuck at current pieces I’m working on. So I thought, to help practice and to distract my mind, maybe i should start uploading piano request videos.
So, name a song, any song you would like to hear. Hopefully i can put something together within 24 hours.
(I also do guitar)
My vacation is over Friday. I don’t even want to get into specifics, but I’ll have more stress and more on my shoulders. I don’t know what this will do to my depression. Before, when I had this stress I had my ex to distract me and make my life feel better. I don’t have that now. I just feel so alone and so overwhelmed.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/testing-waters-mp3.mp3
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Thank you to everyone who took some time to comment on my post last night. I was in a dark rotten place. (As you can see if you read through the comments.) I’m still there, to be honest, but at least I’m still able to write about it.
Here’s the music I mentioned. (Headphones recommended so the bass can come through better).
I wrote it in just a few hours, to distract myself from not being able to get online. For me, when I’m stuck here in bed at home, not being able to get online is a big deal, because it sort […]
Do you ever have one of those nights where all of the thoughts that you try to keep in the back of your head come out all at once and all you want to do is cry? Well, that’s literally me as I’m typing this. But I wanna know, what are some things that distract you? Or even make you happy? This is starting to become a weekly habit and it needs to stop now.
its weird how a few cuts to the wrist can take away so much pain from inside can distract my mind from eating me alive for them few moments everything is ok I’m in control I feel alive its proberly the only time I actually feel comfortable with myself until I stop all my problems seem to go away but the demons will be back soon And il get lost in my thoughts once again
I feel so powerless and worthless. I’m in pain again. I just want to take my life.
I can’t cope with life. It’s too painful. It’s torture and agony what I’m going through again.
I was able to distract myself recently and felt good by keeping busy. Yesterday all the pain came back because of a memory of the past. Now I don’t have the will to do anything. I feel so small, insecure and hopeless. I just want to end my life. It’s the only thing that can free me from this nightmare and give me peace.
Sigh…
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The past hour has been dedicated through reading posts, comments and conversations on this site. It sort of helped relieve this constricting feeling in my chest, to know that there are others experiencing the near exact feelings that i’ve kept to myself for years. As well as finally feeling like this is a safe place to discuss aforementioned feelings.
I’ve had a private journal for some time on another site. I like to use it to attempt to look back at my past mind sets, and see that i’ve progressed past those terrible moments in time. Lately though, the entries have become painful reminders and bring […]
I’m stuck again… this time, I no longer feel the satisfaction I used to feel. Nothing seems good to me… watching a movie or TV show doesn’t satisfy… doesn’t distract me from what’s going on inside.
The scariest part, not even food tastes the same…
I wish I could find some relief… but I don’t know where to go… I’m not sure what to do.
The worst part? This is all my fault… I screwed up again…
I wish I were dead. Or maybe that I never existed… maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so many people.
I’m sorry everybody, I’m sorry I keep posting my short stories. I know you don’t want to read them, and I don’t want to distract from this site’s purpose. I’m so surprised that even though I’ve posted quite few stories by now I’ve had no active complaints. I won’t keep posting these stories. I tried to rationalize it, I tried to tell myself it was okay because people would say they’re beautiful or that they enjoyed them, but I shouldn’t be doing this I came back because I’m in a living hell. A hell where I can’t feel anything anymore. Instead I post these stupid […]
If memories only serve a catalyst for misery and my future is bleak?
There is nothing, my anxiety destroys any prospect I would ever have. Are some destined to exit early? I find myself asking this question a lot. Very little makes me genuinely happy, I’m never safe in my own skin. It’s sad to say I feel the most comfortable and at home when I am alone. How pathetic my life has become. So many mistakes I have made, I wish I owned a fucking time machine (I’m sure a lot of people think that). Being haunted everyday with no ability to make new memories […]
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