im new to this so its probly going to be a hue rant. so much has happened and its so hard to talk about. i dont know how this is going to go but …… ill start by saying my name is kyle im 25 and live in DE. i guess the core of my issues comes from the way i was treated as a child, i came from a well to do family with two drug addicted parents. even being fucked up all the time they were loving parents who provided everything material i ever needed but the emotional support was hardly ever there. […]
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Doctors
How absolutely sick is it that I find comfort and safety on a site that people tell you about how they want to die? Oh now you are probably thinking to yourself, well it’s probably because you need to know that there are others like you. Yes that’s right I have a logical mind. I am not mad at you, whoever you is, I’m mad at me, for being me, but then for being mad at me, because I know how it is more for a lot of people with personality disorders, except I feel what I should feel, then have not the feelings […]
I haven’t really been feling well. Which isn’t out of the ordinary for me. Last night it got back and I was in a lot of pain. So I went to the ER. I brought to the doctors attention that I might be pregnant.
I am on birth control. I am sexually active. Even with birth control I still use condoms. Well one night the guy that I have been sleeping with, didn’t use a condom. And all it took was that one time.
Well they ran tests. The only that came back positive was my pregancy test. The pain I was in was due to the […]
When i was 12 i lived in kaufman, the best place i have ever been to and lived. I use to get in to alot of messed up situations with my parents and my friends. I lived in a trailer in the middle of nowhere and it is’nt a pretty site there either. I used to be grounded for a long time and my best friend killed herself. I always wondered about myself, what if i wasn’t alive, what would my parents even care about me anyways. It was Janurary 2nd 2006, i was home by myself and i kept wondering if i should do […]
not sure why i’m writing/posting this except that i so crave someone to talk to. this will have to do.
i just can’t see how things are going to get better. ever. i’ve made such a mess of things. i feel like i am holding everyone around me back. like i am the one stopping my kids from having access to a good life. i am such a complete loser, unable to function most of the time. i can’t provide for my family and we are now in dreadful poverty. if i were to die everyone around me would be better off. materially, there is no […]
My life all went down hill when i was 13. My dad married my stepmother and she looked at me if I was cinderella. I was told to do everything in the house and when I was finished I was sent to my room. About that time is when I started writing in my Journals and just giving up in life. When I turned 14 on my birthday my dad and I got in a huge fight. He blamed everyones problems on me and he told me hes going to kill himself because of me. That day is when I tried killing myself for the […]
I am a 59 year old male who just wants to go to sleep for a very very very long time….forever would be nice. I just want to die in my sleep, without experiencing any pain.
If I were to die right now, I could honestly say I have lived my life to the fullest given certain constraints. You see, I was born with very bad asthma back in 1949. Back in the 50s, doctors didn’t know what to do with us children with asthma. So they made us stay in our beds, put a big piece of plastic over the bed, and pump in oxygen. […]
i’m 23 years old. my birthday is on the 13th and i keep thinking……..maybe i won’t make it til then. i’m a single mother of 2 kids. it’s definitely hard……but looking at how perfect they are makes everything worthwhile. i feel guilty for the way i feel. i never feel like i’m good enough. i hate myself so much that it’s hard for me to find the good in anyone else. i didn’t have a really horrible childhood. but when i was 8 my mom told me that my dad wasn’t really my dad….he was my step dad and my “real” dad lived in california. […]
In 1998, I decided I no longer wished to live…all because of some man who I loved who did not love me back. I think a part of me wanted to live and just wanted to cry out for help. The reason I say this is because I was on the phone talking with a crisis councelor telling him I was about to kill myself. He asked me where I live and I refused to tell him. I didn’t know he could trace the whereabouts of my call but, I am glad he did. I took this bottle of Klonopin…1 mg a tablet and swallowed […]
I am a 39 year old female, who has worked hard my whole life and up till a few years ago could not have been prouder of where I was, and how far I had came. I have never been in trouble with the law, and have been with my husband for over 20 years, and could never think of life any other way. Till 3 years ago. I had a siezure. I had not had any health problems at all before that, but after that first one, I had 3 more within 2 months. After many, many different doctors, we never found out why. […]
I’m 23, gay male and miserable a good deal of the time. I feel like I have no right to be so unhappy when I have so much going for me, but rather than feel guilty, I feel like, it’s not fare. Why would someone, God, Fate, Karma, whatever, give me so much to enjoy and so little capacity to enjoy it. I walked home alone tonight from a big drag show where everyone was having a good time. On the way out the door, I cheerily said goodbye to five friends, two of my therapists and the boy I’m in love with, who only […]
I dont know why i have joined this site.Where do i start ? The darkness has over come me now all my past has come out of me.I mean i was abused whan i was in childrens home at the age of 9 im now 42.It took me till the age of 37 to tell some one what had happed after several atemps to end my life about 5 years ago.I was told nothing could be done so again i was let down and had to hide it all again.My first wife and i split over all this ,yes we have kids .I remarried just […]
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