After two attempts at my life in the matter of two weeks me and my husband went to the doctors go more medicine and some new ones he’s holding on to them because it’s easy to overdose on them I’m mad but I understand I guess he loves me and I love him I don’t know why I’m so addiment about killing myself
Sweet love that I held so close
The hand I held and needed most
The lips I kissed so many times
Oh love never were you mine
For a split second you let me believe
That I had you back and you’d never leave
I guess I was just the easiest to convince
But I haven’t stopped hurting since..
Oh love I know I’m easy to forget
But I’m so sure you were ‘it’
That person for whom I would give my life
But instead […]
I’ve just been going around and around in circles for a long time. But the one thing that remained the same when I spun around in these circles was that I was afraid. I was always afraid. At first, it was the fear of death, then the fear of life, then just the overwhelming fear of everything in life.
I’m a coward. I know. I deserve to die. But once again, I was afraid to do it. When I finally gathered up the courage to try, I failed. Then I became even more afraid. I was afraid of trying again. Afraid of what would happen if […]
He wanted me Because he was afraid of being alone
He wanted to show me off
He wanted to isolate me
When my world stopped revolving around him
He stopped caring
A ring on my finger
That meant nothing
It was just another way to mark me
A way to mark his territory
I always knew I was easy to forget
But did he have to move on so quick?
I always knew I was nothing special
But I never thought I was just a sick thrill
That was Allan.
I thought he was my best friend
I grew to like his fiance
We got along well
I thought I’d feel better when you get back.
When you were here I felt like I could do something right.
And when you left it just left me feeling empty
Now that you’re back, I thought I’d have a purpose again
Trying to help you, because I thought it would help me
Trying to figure out ways to make you happy
Of course it wouldn’t be easy.
Definitely one of the hardest things to do is get better
I thought I’d be able to help you get better, but
Even that I can’t do.
You’ll see what I want to be, when you get back […]
I have to get out of this state. I need a fresh start. I need something new. Something stable. I want to find love again and I’m not going to find that if I’m misserable. I need to love myself before I can love anyone else and I’m trying so hard to make that happen. I Have to find a way to support myself before I can leave. That’s the fun part. Right? Wrong. Getting a job in a new state isn’t easy. But I have to. I need this. Am I wrong for moving so far away from my mom after all she’s done […]
I’m not the one with the saddest life or parent problems being physically abused or anyrhing. Si why do i cut? I have no real reason except for tjat i dont have reason not to. Smiling doesnt come easy which is exhausting because im the funny obe in my group just sone suggestions to stop or reasibing why i do would help thanks.
People ask all over the internet for a “gauranteed”, method of suicide, or “quick and painless” , or “like falling asleep”. The answer is so obvious it’s sad. With death flowing through my veins I’m an inch away from death every day. Don’t ask, I wont tell you because it’s just too easy.
My parents weren’t perfect by any means. They made their fair share of mistakes raising me. But their intent was always good. They tried their best to help me all the way to the end.
I know that when I’m gone it will devastate them. They have been living in fear of this for the last several months. It hasn’t been easy for them. I regret putting them through this pain. But it wasn’t my choice.
My brother and sister live far away so I don’t see them very often anymore. They will be hurt, too, and so will their kids. No more uncle for them. I […]
There was a time in my life, not so long ago, when I could pass for normal.
Probably because, for all intents and purposes, I was normal.
I did normal things, ate normal food, took normal shows, I was thoroughly unexceptional.
Not to say I’m exceptional now, but you get my meaning.
No one ever said it’d be easy to get back to that place in my life.
But for the first time in a long time, I can see the horizon.
Those bastards were right, time must heal all wounds.
No longer am I taking one step forward and two back.
I’m making progress.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Now only a million […]
Let me start by saying that overall I had a good childhood I alone am to blame for my current situation. My parents were very strict on me when I was young and my father in particular wanted me to play football. He always was disappointed in me. He never thought I was man enough calling me names and cursing at me even though I tried so hard.
My younger brother was his favorite and he did nothing to earn it. He never had to toughen up or try out for football or any of that stuff. My father loved him unconditionally.
Fast forward about ten years […]
I am 34 years old. I am absolutely worthless. I am alone and will always be that way because I am the ugliest creature on the planet (short, fat, and the most disgusting butterface anyone has ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on). I have no hope to ever be loved. I have been trying so hard to be happy and I was doing well for a while. I was volunteering, working with kids since I will never have any of my own but my sister screwed that up by starting some shit with the wrong people online and dragging me down with her […]
Well here goes, I should be writing a research paper at the moment and I’m already behind on thesis work for a industry panel review on Thursday which is freaking me out. Sorry if that sounds like I’m trying to act like I’m better because clearly I’m not, I have paralyzing anxiety and getting things done hardly happens, I have withdrawn from college twice with no tuition reimbursement in the past, which I can’t even really afford to pay for anymore so I really just need to buckle down and graduate since I’ve been an undergraduate for six years now for a four year degree. I […]
Have any of you ever thought how easy life would be if we don’t have to please people and actually get the chance to mind our own business without getting anxious or insecure?
Because i have. So many times that i lost count.
That one thing we’re all searching for.
Whether you’re here because you’ve attempted, are planning on attempting or are just curious, were were all drawn here by one binding factor.
Death.
Death is not simple.
Death is not easy.
Death is complicated and painful, and explodes with the emotional force of an atom bomb.
Lives are ripped apart, relationships crumble, people are reduced to the most basic form of themselves.
It will make you feel things you never thought possible, do things you thought were beyond you, be the person you always feared.
Dying will feel like an eternity, whether your insides are dissolving from an overdose, or you’re blood is pumping onto […]
What if I did it. Right now. It would be so fucking easy. Nothing eloquent this time, just a myriad of pain and an option out tonight. Why can’t I be the one this time. I will write my own ended for a story that was never my own.
It is too easy for people you love to drift away from you. With all the “I can’t make it” texts and “sorry I couldn’t come over last night” voicemails I feel lil we are losing touch with people more and more these days. Most days my only human interaction besides the norm at home is with the jackasses at my work.
Howdy!
so this is my first post. I’ve stumbled across this site a few times but never posted. I’m currently an inpatient on line of sight in a psychiatric hospital. I’m 30, I’m a doctor and I’m married with two kids. So plenty to live for. I’ve a hold load of baggage which I’m not even going to go into.
ive been in hospital sectioned for 18 months. On Friday I nearly died. Despite being on line of sight (1:1 obs all the time) I tied a ligature to asphyxiate myself. I used a bed sheet and it was very quick. I was resuscitated and […]
I’m a piece of shit. All I do is manipulate people, all day, all the time. It’s so easy to get people to do exactly what you want. Working in sales, getting promoted at work, constantly getting people to lend me money, favors, it’s way too easy. I really needed money the other day so I told myself I would get this chick that likes me at work to offer me the money without even asking, it worked, and I walked home laughing about it. I don’t have the emotions I used to, it’s fuckn weird. Getting chicks into bed is probably the easiest. It’s […]
Opiate withdrawals can go fuck off! I beat you again heroin, you cruel *****. I’m not letting you back in my life! I’m taking back control, for good.