I feel sick with it. Sometimes it’s a big empty whole, sometimes the whole fills with a nausiating meloncholy substance formed of some vile nostalgia. My eyes see only ugliness. A waste land. And my body crawls across it’s filth. Motivated by someone else’s idea of hope. To reach what? perhaps another minute, or better yet a minute left behind. Another moment of agony I’ve put behind me. There are moments of another nature however. I’d say the suffering isn’t worth them, but what the hell. Water is so much better when your thirsty.
Tag:
empty
Deep down I knew it all along; I knew I would relapse. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon after I started getting better. Maybe I wasn’t actually getting better? Yeah, I got a job and started doing voluntary work but my mind is still empty. For more than 2 years now it’s been 97% empty, remaining 3% were occupied by my feeling of worthlessness and grief towards life. I stopped daydreaming long time ago. Nothing interests me, nothing bothers me. I don’t think. I’m getting dumber each day and it’s showing. I’m so done.. Even meds stopped working. Sometimes I still […]
So this will be a first for me I come from a family run by my father and he’s to type to not seek help for shit and my mother wouldn’t cross him so I’ve always felt keeping everything bottled up is better I have a feelin this will get long so to anyone that wants the short before hand it basically goes im 27 male been depressed for to many years to count now never been on meds or seening someone about it or even really talked about it before in my earlier years have made 3 different attempt on my life […]
Everyone is gone for Halloween. Even my lol online friendlist is completely empty, and they are nerdos like me! How come everyone else is having fun on a day like this and I am just sitting here doing what I always do. Oh right, for a second there I forgot I have no friends. Hm, maybe I should acquire some imaginary friends, but they’ll probably dump me as well. I guess that only leaves only the computer. At least he doesn’t judge.
Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh i’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl i am, it isn’t me …
Nobody has a clue. I smile, i laugh, i put on such a huge front but inside i’m empty. I’m struggling to survive. Not only emotionally but physically too. I can’t even afford to buy food. Most days i go home and sit and watch tv and don’t eat. I eat once a day. I’m slowly fading away and people say “you’ve lost weight, you looking so good” but actually it’s not by choice. Tomorrow is my […]
I just… I feel empty and I need someone to talk to. Anyone willing to hold up a conversation with a crazy hormonal teenager? I’ll try not to disappoint, but no promises.
My email is misbahq93@gmail.com
On my wrists and at my feet,
My containment, now complete.
To hell they say, will be my way –
Leaving dreams to fade away.
Hollow now, I sit and stare –
Recalling deeds that got me there.
I hope my friend will come to call,
Dressed for death and standing tall.
Ready now, I close my eyes –
My heart is slow and tranquilized.
Surrender now – the only way
I wait for him to call by day.
Late last night he left my bed,
And took the halo from my head.
An empty shell was left behind,
A pretty face without a mind.
I sit within my gilded cage,
The need has left to turn the page.
Crying out brings no […]
Tonight I will be successful and I wont stop until I black out. 9 liters of water this time and an empty house!!! I will die tonight!!!?
I will never feel his touch
I miss him so much
His absence I feel
His love I appeal
The love I gave
I take to the grave
My heart doth break
By the love you take
If you only knew
The love you drew
I gave a plenty
But now am empty
You have my heart
For as long we part
Never one like you
Impossible to renew
You cannot tell
I’m an empty shell
LOVE YOU ALWAYS
I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]
i havent cried in over 4 years, but after she told me she loved him and not me, i lost it. i felt like i had no control over myself, i started cutting my hips with a knife, i stopped after 8. i cut as hard as i could. she called the police because she didnt know what to do. i had to lie to them and say it was a misunderstanding, but the moment they left, i broke down into tears. tonight was a perfect night. it was pouring outside, pitch black out, i literally stood out there for over an hour. now im […]
Karma
As I sit under this empty tree,
I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.
I give my all to those around,
But karma doesn’t come back and surround.
There are no answers that I can see,
To ease this pain inside of me.
But it will end sooner than you know,
When all I have to do is let go.
I cannot wait for karma to return,
The love for my soul that I most yearn.
All I hope is you learm from this,
To take more care of those you might miss.
D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t afford my storage shed […]
I am 56, soon 57 in a few weeks. I am lonely. I have a 25 year old son, who hardly ever comes to visit me. A woman lived with me for many years. She was my girlfriend. I found out that she cheated on me twice. That day I found out, she came home, but I told her that I wouldn’t give her any more chances, and to pack up her things and remove them from my house and leave, because I did not want to be cheated on anymore. It hurt me to do this to her, but it hurt even more being […]
I feel empty inside
There’s a void I cannot fill
I drink the emptiness away
I smoke the emptiness away
I roll to take the emptiness away
Though these temporary solutions
Hold no effect once I be sober
I miss the touch of a gentle human hand
I miss the warmth of another’s embrace
I miss the smile that follows the sweet words spoken
I miss being loved by another
I curl up and hold myself tight at night
My pillow squished in my comforting embrace
I close my eyes and dream of a paradise
One where a man adores me for me
Holds me and tells […]
Why do we continue the empty eternal struggle. Knowing there is nothing at the end.
I feel so empty
No, thats a lie
My thoughts fill me
spilling from my mind
Is everything a lie
Will I ever get the truth
Wasting away my time
Trying to help you
Im the one to blame
I saw it flash before my eyes
Visions of this happening
Before it came in time
Please just take my life!
I need to dissapear!
Im not comfortable in my own skin
I need to get out of here…
Watch as the bloods spills
Razorblades been stained
Take some more pills
Quiet the pain
Feeling really down right now, lonely and depressed, I’m never going to be happy, loneliness isn’t just being alone but the knowledge that I’m always going to be alone and I’m going to die alone. Forty six next month and I didn’t want to last this long, oh how I wish I was dead, just a little more time to see but not too long, what’s the point of putting it off. The young still have a chance to get things right but I’ve screwed my life up so it’s different, suicide seems more acceptable to me when middle aged, this world is for the […]
I want to cry, I keep going from feeling pain and hurt to feeling numb. I get really annoyed with certain people and I don’t know why, just them txting me will just annoy me. It sucks all of it the whole concept of life, of living. No matter how hard I try to care to want things for myself I can’t. I’m working and going to school and putting in all my time and efforts to being the best I can be, but at the end of the day I don’t care it doesn’t mean anything to me. My life is empty and I […]
Murderous bastards!
The unholy gleam takes it’s root
Splinting and shivering in every pupil.
Pupil, pupil- dilate as such!
Show me movement in your harsh breeding;
The curses fall from your lips and spatter onto my face.
They are like pennies, new and heavy on my skin.
The skin! Around my eyes it is purpled, like dark fruit,
And tissue-thin; it often hurts me.
Poor weakness! Hard eyeballs cup themselves in my sockets
And weigh me down like a hole in a boat.
I am too meek for this heftiness.
My soul claws and sobs to me like a sleepless baby
And there isn’t anything left.
The sweet sunbeams, the dull peonies
Are as empty as my heart, and they […]
Hi guys how we all doing 🙂
learned something quite interesting and i thought i would share it with you all.
Prolonged exposure to suicidal thoughts & feelings creates a biochemical reaction in your brain that changes the very way you think, and we don’t even realise its happening. example if you were like me once filled with powerful empathy and heart shattering emotions but now feel quite distant and empty thats the reason. So make it quick and don’t turn into a zombie is probably the lesson here.
Mindblowing, but not literally unfortunately.
Bye 🙂