A guy from my school recently killed himself and it brought back my suicidal thoughts. It made me remember everything and now I just can’t get it out of my head. I want to just finally end it all. It seems so much better. I mean I just hate my life, I literally hate it. I can’t live this life anymore and I can’t sit here waiting for somebody to realize it and suddenly care
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end it all
So I am currently pregnant and 5 days ago I called my now ex boyfriend because he hadn’t called me or checked on me in 3 days ? So we had a conversation and he had told me that he had a new girlfriend and that they’d been with each other those 3 days. That really broke me down I couldn’t stop crying and I sat there and thought about how to end it all because I was so hurt ? I never thought this would happen so soon. Just the other day we were talking about how excited we were for our family. Glad […]
Hi I am Adam here is my story.
Growing up I never really had a father or even father figure in my life which is pretty shitty but I am sure it happens to a lot of people. My mom and dad divorced before I can remember so it’s always been me my mom brother and sister. I was about 7 my brother 10 he had just broken his collar bone so his arm was in a sling we had bunk beds and I had top bunk I had jumped down and accidentally hit his arm which was an ACCIDENT but my dad being the […]
Hey, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m defective. Nothing I try and do changes how I feel I should just end it all. Its been this way for as long as I can remember just a constant over whelming feeling that I’m not suppose to survive this thing we call life. I’m not trying to wallow, nothing majorly traumatic has happened in my life its just my serious and honest opinion. Ending it would be so easy but I can’t seem to get that right as I said I’m defective. I thought I was ready tonight then time got away with me and […]
I cant take it i had enough i got a gun and tonight i blow my brains out. Everyday is the same shit and i cant take it !!
So good bye to this life and to being invisible !! I will finally be free and just sleep forever…
I have to go to work in a couple of hours. I hate going there. I have to deal with constant sexual harassment from my boss. I’m quitting in a few weeks since he treats me like shit as well, he makes me do stuff that he can do, while he sits there watching dramas on his phone. I’m tired of being mistreated for 9 months and having to deal with the harassment without being able to tell anyone.
This morning my mom was awake early and noticed that I hadn’t taken my medicine at the time I’m supposed to so, she made me take it. […]
I just need someone to listen, to hear me, to understand me. I’m so tired of people thinking the “smart, pretty” girls have it all. I don’t. I don’t think that just because you are good looking, or smart, or popular, or even a nice person, that it should cancel out feelings of a different caliber. But society thinks it does. Because people think I have it all, I should be happy. I surely don’t have it all, just keeping up with appearances. I fake it and I fake it well.
I don’t have any one specific reason to hate myself, I just do. I […]
Everything I say is wrong
Which is why I’m here writing this song
Everything I do can never be right
Which is why I find it difficult to see the light
Everything I say leads me to apologise
Which is why I’m sitting here trying to realize
Everything I do will never be enough for you
Which is why I really don’t know what to do
Everything is messed up
Which is why I always say “yup”
Everything is always my fault
Which is why my life has come to a halt
Everything makes me want to end it all
Which is why I curl up into a ball
Everything is me
Which is why I don’t know if I […]
So in 3 to 4 weeks I’m ending it just have to do a test run then gain the balls to just end it. I don’t give a fuck or a rats are anymore. Not even sure why I was born the only sucky thing is my family are going to have to bury me with no photo or nothing. I’m over family and parents. They only give a shit about themselves and haven’t once begun to understand mental illness. Funny thing is its going to have to be a burden to bury me or cremate me for my family. Cold heartless family.
Well 3-4weeks then […]
My life really isn’t that bad. i wasted 8 years in the military and was suicidal almost everyday for the last year that i spent in. i was always on some kind of anti depressant or a tranquilizer. once i got out i stopped my medications and i feel better yes. but i still have the thought on a daily basis that I’m tired of my life and feeling unaccomplished with everything that i have going on. its a struggle, i have a girlfriend, i go to school, and i medicinally use cannabis. but i cannot seem to every get out of the slump, I’ve […]
I’ve tried looking at life from a positive perspective but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m ready to die. I’m 27 years old. I have Bipolar Disorder. I’m poor. I’m on government assistance. I’m African-American. I’m a woman. I’m extremely overweight. I still live with my parents. I come from a family of Narcissists who have each told me in their own way that they don’t mind if I die. I’ve tried to put myself out there in college and employment but nothing fulfills me. And no amount of medication is going to change how I feel. I’m already taking 4 meds and […]
Isn’t it funny how you can have people all around you but feel so lonely? I feel guilty because I have a good life- a good job, a husband, a nice house, a family that cares about me. I just can’t seem to find any happiness in it. We have a gun in our home and I find myself fantasizing about how easy it would be to end it all. Then I chicken out because I’m useless.
Why can’t I just be normal? I am faking being put together every day and it’s so exhausting I just can’t do it anymore. I just want to fall […]
I really want to just end it all. Why not?
Why is it that every time I try to end it all my conscious is like “No you can’t do this.”? Is it because I don’t have the guts to actually cut my vein?Or is it because I still have hope that I can conquer this battle? Yet, I can still harm myself? And not think twice about what I’m doing. Maybe I can conquer this battle or my demons are just playing around with me.
My name is Hannah, I’m 22 and I plan on ending my life. It may not be today, tomorrow, a week from now or this month, but it will happen. I already have it planned out. I know exactly how I’m going to go. I’ve written a will and what and who I want at my funeral, not that it matters since I wont be alive to witness it. I’ve done my research if I will go to heaven or not and I got the answers I need.
I have everything going for me, why would I do such a thing to my loved one? I […]
1. Life basically has no inherent meaning and humanity is insignificant in this gargantuan universe.
2. I hate capitalism and technology. Humanity is collectively vying for a superlative goal. This goal constitutes building Artificial Intelligence that will soon render human existence superfluous. Capitalism is a way of evolving collective “God”-consciousness
3. I hate the system and its procrustean laws. Always keeping us domesticated. Of course I can’t fight back alone. I am powerless to run the gauntlet solo. Our behaviour is closely monitored through soul crushing 9 to 5 jobs and mindless entertainment to act as a vehicle for temporary escape and not be able to remember […]
I had such grand plans.
As a kid I would sit for hours and draw “blueprints” of my future dream house.
A large ranch nestled in the Georgia country side, complete with orchards, gardens, ponds, stables, horses, and an animal rescue specializing in turtles.
I saved the seeds of every fruit I ate for my “orchard” and bought every horse and turtle book I could find.
I really really believed it was possible. I truly did.
Now I’m 20 and I’ve been cheated on more times than I can count in my failing marriage, and at the end of September we get kicked out of our friends house because they […]
It happened. Worse than ever. I lost my shit.
Sobbing in the bath tub, snot and tears and drool mingling with the water, mumbling over and over for two hours “I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die… But I can’t do this…”
I’ve never felt such anguish, I feel like I have emotional cancer, I’ve never felt this way and it scares me so badly.
I don’t want to die, but what if it’s worse next time? What if it hurts so bad that I just end it all?
What if I go to hell for giving up too soon? I know not everyone is religious […]
My life is complete shit. People love to say they give a fuck but as long as I can remember I’ve had a bad life. I’ve been abused molested bullied then I was finally a cool kid in hs but nobody knew I always was super depressed at home and I would do drugs and drink to cope but my mom never cared what I did. Then I dropped out of school….my mom never protected me from being molested she always turned the other cheek just like my sister even tho it’s her husband who did it. Then my mom said she didn’t want me […]
Its been odd, havent posted in a while since ive been caught up in feelings and thoughts. But now ive hit a wall again and its not even for the usual causes. Normally i would fluctuate between feelings of extreme highs and lows, though lately ive been cruising in the neutral zone.
Ive dropped a lot of expectations and hopes, its made me look at things or losses as unavoidable but necessary. Where it used to cause me grief now i have a sense of understanding why things happened that way. Why people reacted to me and my condition. With that i no longer dwell […]