I have friends, I have a great family, I have a great boyfriend. I’m in my early 20s and started my own company 2 years ago. Since then nothing has gone right with it. My developers quit after months of not delivering on promises, and my current developer is treating me like shit. I have had suicidal thoughts off and on all my life but I’ve been having suicidal thoughts now for weeks… Today and yesterday something was different. I feel really numb. I keep trying to get out of it, to think about my family and how much it would hurt my little brother […]
Tag:
end it all
I always find myself coming back here when I lose hope. I post and you amazing people reply and I somehow get the strength to pull myself together.
But honestly guys, I want this to be the last time I come here, because I want to leave this world, for good.
But it is hard, the only two people I think about when I make up my mind to end it all are my Mother and Father. They will be shattered. Is there a way to make sure that they will be ok with my committing suicide?
Please help, I dont want to carry a guilt to my […]
Today was good. As good as it could have been. I spent the day with someone I’ve missed quite a bit. Things really could not have been any better. But I can’t shake this feeling. I’m so tired. I’m on the verge of collapsing with no one there to catch me. So what’s left? I could pick myself up and keep going… But I don’t know how. I could end it all tonight. I kind of want to. But I’m scared. Is it stupid to be scared? I feel like I’m failing miserably. At everything. I just don’t think there’s anything left for me to […]
i just wanna bawl my eyes out. No one will ever love me. How many anyone love me when i dont even love myself? This world is filled with so much pain, and sadness. It’s like you try to make things better but theres always some asshole bringing you down. I hope to live in a world where we all loved and care for each other. Not this counterfeit planet. There are just some days where i wanna do it, end it all. But i dont know what to do. I wanna die painlessly, so at least at my last breath i dont feel so […]
I tried to commit suicide 3 months ago. I survived. I hated the fact that I couldn’t get it right. Now 3 months later I am more excited about my life and the future than I have ever been before. I booked myself into a mental health institute for 2 weeks after my suicide attempt and I learned more than I can imagine about myself…and more importantly how to cope. My situation has worsened in the past 3 months yet I no longer feel the urge to end it all. I have a strong urge to survive and put my experience to good use.
My name is Kristin! I am 15 years old. About 8 months ago now, my life was a bit hectic. I was living in Thailand at the time. I had a handful of friends, but I never got to hang out with them, because they were busy during the week and I was busy on weekends. SO therefore, I felt very alone most of the time. Being on the opposite side of the globe from everything I had ever known didn’t help much either. I felt lost and alone. I didn’t think anyone cared about how I felt. One day, I was at home alone, […]
Have you ever just felt unappreciated? You go above and beyond for everyone and some way some how you’re always lacking something. Nothing you do is good enough, who you are isn’t good enough. It gets lonely at that point and all you want is someone who sees how rare you really are and appreciates it and holds on to you as long as they can because they know for a fact another like you won’t come along.
You begin to feel stuck and don’t know what else to do with yourself. It weighs in heavier and heavier, the depression, the sadness, the emptiness, and […]
im bored and lonely and wish I had what it took to end it all. if anyone wants a friend, email me at m.33az@yahoo.com
I keep thinking about going to therapy again… it never helped me before though… I dont know what to do… i dont exactly have cash on hand for an appointment… Admit myself back into a hospital???… ive never been with a bunch of other adults though… just adolescents… im too terrified of the adults there… would i have to stay for a really long time??? how much would i have to pay for it??? is it even worth it at all??? a knife or water can end it all much faster for me with little to no major pain… id be free, well, sort of… […]
I have yet to say that I have found a plan and that it will work. I am sorry that I have said goodbye to many times and then not actually do anything about it, I am such a “wuss”. I feel like I can’t ever follow through with things and that I can’t seem to get it together these days..
NO I am not selfish for wanting to die
NO I am not trying to get attention or trying to get people to feel sorry for me because I am “sick”
I am always going to be broken, I can’t seem to get fixed
No one is going […]
I was just wondering is there anybody else who has experience/ has BPD I was recently diagnosed with it, even though in my chart in the hospital it was recorded 5 years ago but to my knowledge I was never made aware of it. about a month ago my stress levels were through the roof leading to a lot of self harm and suicidal thoughts, I was also abused as a child both sexually and physically so my intrusive thoughts were quite graphic and vivid. this lead to my dissociating and basically i lost my emotions or any i did have were warped i left […]
I really am stupid arnt I? After everything you’ve said and done… I’M still here praying you’ll see me… my heart filled with false hope as I stay up all night waiting for a single word from you. Only to be heart broken every night. You left me and ended our friendship because of something I didn’t even do. Just an excuse they say. It’s just a reason for you to walk away. I truly an stupid because Im still here waiting… praying that it’s not over… that you’ll keep your promises and what you’d said weren’t lies. But the longer time passes the thinner […]
I’m 25 years old in a couple of weeks, and I have absolutely nothing to show for my life. I have no job, no experience, no skills. I’m still a a virgin, have never been kissed properly, never had someone who loves me. I don’t even have anyone who even cares about me all that much. No parents because they died when I was a child, no other family because they emotionally abused me all throughout my life and then disowned me. Only four friends. Two of which don’t even bother to talk to me unless I remind them I still exist. I feel invisible. […]
And I’m afraid I can’t ignore it. I have put it off so many times. I even hate myself for not going through with it before, I regret going to the ER when I had the will to end it all.
Even now as a mother, I am full of pain, loneliness, sorrow. I see no light at the end of the tunnel even though I try. I love my son but the pain is too much to live with. From age 4 ’til now my life has been terrible. One bad thing after the next. Where is my break? Where’s my happiness? Apparently, there isn’t […]
I sit here looking out my window wishing a stray bullet would just come through and end it all.
Other times i sit and see the Semi trucks pass by. wondering and knowing it could end if I would just step right out in front of it.
Another night of self hatred. No way to get out, No way to make anything better.
Maybe for once Something will answer my pleads and just finish me off.
I wouldnt care if i died in a brutal way. Just want it to end.
No strength to fight, NO strength to end it myself. NO power to get by.
I am a ghost who […]
My friend Crystal ( my persian cat) died on the 31st Jan 2011, she was my only friend, with my anxiety and avoidant personality disorder, I have never connected with anyone or shared how I was feeling with anyone, I have been completely alone. for over 15 years or so. Work I don’t know if I will have a job by the end of the week, positions will be going, mine may be one of them, I won’t cope with that. Been in and out of hospital in the last 15 years or so because of suicide tendencies and self harm. But I think the […]
I’m so tired of this world and everything in it… I’m 36 years old, my mom has paranoid schizophraenia, my youngest brother was adopted out of my family due to that, my dad tried to kill me when I was young, I was molested for almost 8 years, and these are all of the things I have learned to accept.
No matter what I do in life, I feel like I am constantly starting over and constantly getting shit on. I give up everything I know, in my country and in my life, to move from the states to the UK to be with my wife […]
I dont want to feel this way anymore, but the only way for ghe pain to stop is if i just end it end it all. Is it wrong for me want a perfect life, but i already know i will never get that. I got in a fight with my grandparents on saturday for that they made it seem like they dont care if i kill myself. I yelled at my grandma tell her they are the reason why i cut myself” and all she said was “go do it, kill yoursrlf ill care less. When she said that i just wanted to end […]
nias
Why do I keep saying soon but never now.
My problems are never going away so why do I keep putting off my suicide, why do I keep saying I’ll just do this or that first. Do I really want to die? well, yes and no; yes, I’ve had enough of my depressing life and this world, but no, I still wish things could work out for me, how can that ever be though, I’m an ugly, paranoid, stupid waste of space. I’m stuck with depression and social anxiety, and the cause of said problems, a body that, due to toxin build-up, has created something horrible […]
I cannot take it anymore. This year I have experienced the loss of two friends, my grandad and my closest friend. I cannot cope with any more loss. Nobody cares that inside I am drowning and cannot cope all they see is themselves and all my mother can talk about is the one loss she has experienced this year. Anything I say is wrong and I am a failure I just want to die