Its been a year now since my wife and I seperated. We have two beautiful children whom I adore very much. I moved here almost 10 years ago from another state after a string of failed relationships. I met my wife and married her almost eight years ago. It was great in the beginning, but first come children and then financial worries and somewhere along the way we began to grow apart. She left me for another man and when that didnt pan out she still felt she was better off without me. Now I have to work constantly to pay my bills and give […]
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end it all
Sickness, pain and everlasting guilt. Mistakes and terrible decisions made and repeated once more. Memory fails me unsure if  it’s due to anxiety, fear and shutting down or something more sinister.
I’ve pushed everyone away, Â ran away, I miss my friends but after six months of me pushing them away, hiding, ignoring i doubt they want anything to do with me. Who can blame them, im uselss, boring and so withdrawn. And I can’t even admit how terrible I have been.
I have thought about death so much this year. I wanted to end it all so many times. I went to a funeral of a dear […]
This is my first post on this website. I found it while searching how to successfully make a belt into a noose, just so I would always be prepared. It’s exam study week for my university right now, I’m studying science and so far I’ve done fairly well, but my mind is blank this week. I have been considering not attending my exams, I’m not sure why I’m even at university… It’s not like there’s any purpose to it all anyway. I’ve been thinking about staying home and drinking until I have the courage to end it all instead, there’s just no purpose. I asked […]
Hi
I’m completely new to this site and I’m not really sure what kinds of things people post but here goes.
I am 23 years old and people think I’m a happy and normal person but I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder for 5 years. The depression I experience in cycles is becoming too much and I can’t hide it anymore. When I’m like this I am such a drain on my family and I just don’t see an end to it. This is why I want to end it all.
There is one thing stopping me. Despite being completely non religious, I keep having this horrible anxiety […]
My problems are probably minimal compared to what others have gone through but it still feels like a lot to me. I feel like my family hates me, they always yell at me, including my sister who is literally trying to control my life at the moment. My parents think i’m immature and probably doing drugs because i like going out with my friends and so they yell at me for nothing. Really they look for reasons to yell at me and everytime I’m yelled at i end up cutting, I don’t want to cut but it’s temporary relief and for a second I forget […]
All I want is to end it all. To simply not be. My whole life I’ve been given everything you could ever want, but I was never happy. No one understands it’s always the same thing: why? That’s so selfish. You’re life is so perfect, you have no reason to be depressed. Things can seem so different from the outside than they do from the center of the battlefield. My mind is constantly racing I never sleep I never get a break from my thoughts. I have been sad and angry for so many years with little bits of happiness yet every time it’s ripped […]
I have tried so hard the past weeks, so hard to try and push on. I’ve been looking for guns online, cheap ones, just to end it all. I’m only 16, and i’m so scared. I see no other option then suicide. I’m so ready to leave, but I don’t know what’s holding me back. Is it because I’m weak? Is it because I still love people? I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I read this story recently about this mother named Elizabeth who lost her child to see how it’d feel if my parents lost me. All I do is disappoint them, […]
Thats is, im going to kill myself. And my mother is to blame, she has made my life so miserable that i cant even take it anymore. They always think im lying an im not, they make me not even want to talk to them , then when i dont talk to them, i get in trouble, so im never going to have even a day that im not in trouble. Im going to just explode. My soul is chipping away from the world and my life is worth nothing more than dirt. My heart cant take this emotional roller coaster, im going […]
So I stumbled on this site tonight while researching methods to use when my time comes. I’m a little nervous about saying this out loud (or even in anonymous type), but yes, I do intend to end my life. Not now, or even in the near future, but when the time is right. There’s only one reason I’m still alive right now really, and that’s my dad. Not only is he a great guy and my untimely demise would shatter him, but he’s also paid a great deal of money our for my new doctor to stabilize my mental health. To her credit, btw, I’m […]
I’m so tired. Just tired of all this crap lately. First off, I was starving myself yesterday and the day before- an attempt to diet because I’m fucking gross. I want all of my fat gone. All of it. I hate myself. I’m a gross, fat, ugly waste of space. I hate myself so damn much. You know what I’m really, really, really craving, though? Sweet release. Last week (I think), my blade was taken away, and I haven’t been able to cut. Cutting was my little escape. All the cuts on my arm are fading away, and I’m getting anxious about that, for some […]
I’m so tired of everything. So tired. A basic run through of my life is expected I guess so here goes. My name is Shawn, and I’m a depressed loser who’s 15 and lives in Texas. My depression started when I was a little kid. I was exceptionally smart, to the point of having the IQ of a genius. For this, I was constantly picked on to the point where I had to hide bruises from my mum. In addition to that, I was touched as a child by my stepfather. All of this combined to become clinical depression, before advancing into MDD, MAD, DID, […]
Never thought that I would be on here again but I guess I just need to vent. My grade is shit in math, my teacher treats me like crap btw but I get it at home too. This whole week I’ve been treated likes hit and I’m sick of it, I’ve been called names pushed and lied to throughout this week. If you cross be over don’t come back. If you have something to say , say it to my face direct contact please. And family , my dear family, LEAVE ME ALONE I don’t know if you guys know the concept of alone or […]
My father died when I was 9, cardiovascular issues. My stepfather went to prison for 15 years when I was 12. My mom has struggled ever since to make ends meat. I’ve never had a father figure growing up. My grandfather has had various heart open surgeries, he’s had cancer and now I’m Seeing signs of amnesia. He can pass away any time of any day. My mother has a couple issues, she just found out her cancer tests came out high. I don’t know what to do in life. I dated this one girl, Shannon. I thought she was the one for me. She […]
I should be careful and not come here too often…
I’ve been quite depressed, lacking hope and feeling generally worthless yadda yadda, uninspired to do anything but wallow in self pity.
Being so full of hate that I even learned how to tie a noose.
That made me feel better.
Because although we can all theoretically end it all when we want, it is often quite difficult. Not everyone has handy drugs in the closet. Some will just have to do it the tried and true old school way.
So it’s not always comforting enough to think: well hold on one more day because you can always end it, because […]
If I accept myself and my life- will that stop me from not trying to solve my Major Problem that’s causing me a great deal of shame and sense of worthlessness?
If I don’t, won’t that just make me forever miserable?
When my efforts fail and fail and nothing gets better, of course I want to end it all.
Then something may snap me out of that mood, but it is only temporary.
Because my efforts will still fail and fail and for as long as they fail will I have no hope and for as long as there is now hope will I want to leave…
Yet if I […]
I know I said I’d leave this site. I know I said I’d attempt and end it all. It doesn’t matter now, half-hearted attempts won’t get me anywhere. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I finally go insane for me to be able to end my pathetic life. Life certainly doesn’t improve at adulthood, turning 18 just makes shit more complicated, for anyone wanting to tell me that I should wait and stay alive. Typically, it seems 90% of the people I remember seeing here have gone for good and I’m just left here. That’s always how it goes, no matter […]
We knew each other for six years before we got into a relationship that lasted nearly three years because even though things seemed to get better, exactly one week ago she pulled the trigger. Now the same question keeps on repeating itself over, over and over again: “Why?â€.
Before you all start commenting on why I didn’t help her, let me first make a couple of this things clear! Even before we got into a relationship I knew she was struggling with herself. She had this image of herself not being beautiful, smart and thin enough.
I could see the pain in the eyes. She had a […]
To whom it may concern,
I wish i was a better story teller to describe why i am where i am today. But all i can really think of to share is the present moment. I am a 28 year old male with a fantastic dog great girlfriend low rent and seemily great life. The problem is no job… without a job means i will be forced to give away my dog lose my girlfriend home and great life style. Happiness has a price. I am finally realizing that it cost money to breathe and live in this world. Without a job to gain money i […]
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
I feel like I should have done something more to help. More often then not I feel completely useless. I worry that when I tell him these things he is on his side of the line rolling his eyes. The more I think the sadder I become. I want to stop thinking. I want to end it all. I try to change myself into to something else and lose sight of who I am. Am I even who I think I am? I have so many questions not getting answered. Not that anyone should even worry. I am prone to ruining shit especially relationships. I […]