…I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s becouse I’ve been trying to be happy and stay happy. But why do I always end up at the starting point, feeling worthless and tired? This deppression suffocates me, it’s not letting go. Sharp knife rests on my wrist begging to slice it open! I know I shouldn’t do it. Trying to restrain myself….but it feels so good! The pain is addictive, the blood is beautiful! I’m afraid of what people will think of me if I tell them how I feel. Will they think I’m weird and insane? Am I weird? Am I insane?
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I just wanted to say thank you to all who share. I like to share sometimes, but I have a really hard time commenting on others posts. I know how much it means to me when people comment on my posts, so I wish I would do it more for others. The reasons I don’t is because I’m worried that I’ll either sound dumb or give advice that does harm. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if someone hurt themselves because something I said was taken wrongly.
It’s so weird that I want to kill myself, but would do anything to help stop others from […]
I’m so tired of fighting this war
My body aches, and my soul is its whore
My pain has grown full in size
Was fed religiously by my own mind
It now controls my every step
Making sure I won’t get slammed
Rejecting life by any means
And killing everything within.
My pain has been with me since ever
By now I really should know better
It won’t be cast away by light,
It will end with me, god willing, maybe tonight.
Anybody heard from them?
If you guys are here let me know.
Gt is planing his end on the 6th
And dark tide tomorrow.
Emo panda I just havent seen around hope there ok .
When we first met I had no intention of letting you inside, of giving you my heart, of loving you with my soul. Just a little while later, all of that came true. It all came true at the point I was most ready to end my life. It was… a miracle of sorts. The single best and worst thing that ever happened to me. No longer on the edge, I was yours to take, although you never did. But still, the tomorrows kept coming because of you. It’s two years later and nothing’s changed. I wish I had moved on by now, but with […]
Told my family im on the west coast. they did what I thought they would freak out threatened me again threaten to break my marriage again .
Im tired If im being played for a fool let me be played mom and dad . I am a worthless fool . let me die in life mentally emotionally, physically. Im tired of fighting my father siad hell see me in two weeks . I might end it then he gave me my time slot the 9th still stands I guess.
So I got it, but aparently it’s made by a company in India lol. The only complaints I’ve seen about it are that it’s a little weaker than its supposed to be, though it still works sooo…yay. Tested one out a little while ago. Waiting to see any effects. It had a strong smell though, don’t know how to describe it. I guess it just smelled…old? And I guess I’m gonna keep having updates until I decide to end things.
Not everyone understands what its like to not matter. To have never fitted in. Even amongst the mentally ill. To be ugly. Not to feel ugly but to actually be so repulsive that the best you can hope for is for another arrogant thot who doesn’t care about you at all except to pity to boost their own ego all to try to convince you that someone else will as a consellation. Otherwise you have rejection because of your ugliness and anxiety. Not everyone gets what its like to to be in complete mental misery for 3 decades going back to childhood so you have […]
I’m stuck in this place between knowing that society thinks I need help and knowing that nobody could possibly help me at this point. I’m stuck in between this place of knowing this gets better and hating my life so much that I want to die and end the pain. I’m stuck in between this place of knowing that someone, somewhere, cares about me, and the realization that nobody around me loves me anymore. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I want to end my miserable existence, but I’ve failed 27 different suicide attempts and obviously, that won’t work anymore. The man […]
Im san fran but im still so sad so nervous so not ok I still feel lost .
a girl that has been staying with my in -laws says she has made no money in tahoe and she is in depression from the town and is fearfull her marriage will end becuse she is so unhappy .
she said she understood Why I went home and why I left and why Never wanted to go. Wich made me feel better she made me feel less crazy. But I felt horrbile she was going the my hell she took my backlash. I was so sorry, Im scared now […]
Hei! Let’s just start that I have been hospitalized basically since 16th of december( was let out beginning of march but taken in after 4 days..). I made a suicide attempt and thats how it started. They are still not sure I won’t do it again so they keep raising my antidepressants dose and keep me in hospital. But I am not depressed and actually I believe I will end with suicide anyway, regardless of my mood and wether its sooner or later. I wonder what will be done with me if I endlessly admit to being suicidal. Will I be just let out eventually […]
Just bought the pills to help me end things. Should be here by Monday. What should I do in my final week on Earth? I would spend time with the one I love, but I’m dead to him already. I guess I’ll try to go to the beach.
I have to go out to celebrate my Mother’s birthday… Such fun right?!?!?!? (sarcasm) I have to be around my brothers even more fun right?!?!?! I have to wear makeup (UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!) So fuck it throw on a Metallica top which is a hand-me-down which I ain’t ever giving away and fuck off my Mother she is what you call “Posh” and basically her head is so far up her ass your not too sure which end talks shit…. So that’s my plan for the evening hopefully I’ll be on later the only thing that i’m wearing that isn’t black is a plain blue singlet which […]
I’m scared of myself so I feel like I wouldn’t actually end it for myself, but if I was in the situation where a car was coming towards me at a fast pace I wouldn’t move, or any kind of situation like that. I don’t know really but that’s how I’ve felt for quite a while.
Out of sight, out of mind
Memories recalled, painful objects of misery
Reliving the past, again and again, everyday is the same as yesterday
Perseverence, that’s all I have to show for myself, unless this bitter story comes to an end
Constant war between the world and me, just leave me be
All of this can’t be pointless, the meaning is hidden between the lines
Finding the truth is only the first step
Buried beneath guilt and shame, I’m slowly fading away
My only solice is in my sleep, my annoyminity
Wearing my mask, day by day, faking my smile and my display
Regressing back to square one
Alone […]
It really feels like there is a group of people trying to get me to end my life. I came really close a few weeks ago. I am wondering if these individuals realize that there are Criminal , Civil and punitive charges for these actions ? Even the failure to prevent suicide or death by authorities that I have notified is criminal negligence . The No fear Act , 18 U.S. Code 2340 , 18 U.S. Code 1512 and so many other crimes I am a victim of daily.
I just choked myself for quite a while but slowly released my neck.
What’s the point
We are going to die
So why does it matter
Does anything actually matter
I should end it quicker
I make no difference to anyone
There’s nothing left to be happy about anymore
I am going to die anyway
I don’t know why I care so much, but yet I do. My ex is about to be homeless and penniless without a soul on earth around to help. He lives in Alaska so yeah pretty damn far away. His mom could pass away any day now. I’m scared of what could end up happening to him knowing his tendency to drink. He’s been sober for about 6 months just out of being penniless and having no way to get any money. I don’t want him in bad shape, in jail or dead. I’m so afraid for him and there’s nothing I can do.
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