I already know how it’s going to end for me. My life has been a never ending nightmare and it’s getting worse not better. I grew up severely neglected in hellish poverty, my first suicide attempt was in high school, I don’t have actual friends just people that know who I am, my biological relatives hate me because I’m gay, I’ve had every horrible job a person can have even though I went to college, I have a mountain of debt from college, the only man I love won’t have anything to do with me, and in 2010 I snapped and drank a glass of […]
Tag:
ending
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
This morning I drove 6 hours from Phoenix to Los Angeles to spend a couple of days with the most beautiful human being I have ever known. He is an elderly, British gentleman, a Royal Chaplain (meaning he was once assigned by the Archbishop of Canterbury in England, to take charge of a small chapel in Wales which is still under the “protection” of the Crown), a Franciscan Friar, and my friend.
A week ago he was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. At 84 years of age, after two previous battles with cancer, he is too frail to undergo a strenuous attempt at fighting it […]
I was living a fairly happy life. Had been depressed for more than a year, but i recovered from it. Bought a house found a wonderfull girlfriend, en been living together with her and two beautiful cats. One happy family right? Well, 2 weeks ago i messed everything up by sleeping with some girl who seduced me into having sex with her without a condom because she was “tested and safe”. Turns out she wasnt tested for herpes, which resulted in me having it too now. The thing about genital herpes is that it never goes Away. The virus slumbers sometimes but i will have […]
Life always have a continue, sometimes you will think you are in front of a game over screen,
But you need to find the strength to put a coin in this machine.
Sometimes the coin will be in your pocket,
Sometime you will need to borrow it from your friends.
Sometimes you will be alone and feel like there is no more continue,
It may be hard but those times you will need to craft it yourself,
But you need to craft even if it’s hard because maybe this ”game” have a beautiful ending.
It may be a silly cheering but I’m with you guys!
Thank you guys to support me.. But i couldn’t help myself and i am ending with all hopes with my life..
Just need some courage. I am shivering with sweat on whole body. The cutter in hand falling down. I wish i will get successful on the way of hell or heaven. I wish i would have live more with my love. I really wish. Please god make me die in his arms.
My name is Hannah, I’m 22 and I plan on ending my life. It may not be today, tomorrow, a week from now or this month, but it will happen. I already have it planned out. I know exactly how I’m going to go. I’ve written a will and what and who I want at my funeral, not that it matters since I wont be alive to witness it. I’ve done my research if I will go to heaven or not and I got the answers I need.
I have everything going for me, why would I do such a thing to my loved one? I […]
It happened. Worse than ever. I lost my shit.
Sobbing in the bath tub, snot and tears and drool mingling with the water, mumbling over and over for two hours “I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die… But I can’t do this…”
I’ve never felt such anguish, I feel like I have emotional cancer, I’ve never felt this way and it scares me so badly.
I don’t want to die, but what if it’s worse next time? What if it hurts so bad that I just end it all?
What if I go to hell for giving up too soon? I know not everyone is religious […]
Hello everyone,
This is my first post. Although I have read through much of this website for the past few weeks, I have simply relegated my involvement to that of backseat viewer. I have now decided to share with you a little about who I am and why I browse this website to pass the time.
First, a little bit about me. I have read the sources of many people’s depression and suicidal thoughts and I regret to say that exteriorly, I may represent an unorthodox example of a someone who is plagued with the issue of suicide. I am 19 years old, an excellent student, good looking, […]
“Finally you are about to make it. Your life is in your hands and you’re decided to put an ending on it right now. But for some reason you don’t do it. You wait. You say to yourself repeatedly that that moment of despair will pass, and it does. You lied to yourself again. That moment where you were about to stop your suffering is gone. But you know you didn’t overcome it, you just forgot. Forgot for a brief and crucial moment that unbearable feeling, which was enough not for killing yourself momentaneously.
Your problems still are with you, your pain is lodged in […]
so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good […]
This is my first post on this website. Today has been horrible all I could think today was suicide or run away somewhere. All I was thinking today was suicide mostly. Never thought of that. I’ve been depressed most my life and I haven’t really opened up to people or anyone I know in particular. Everyone knows me by the happy sunshine girl but no one knows who the real me is. Anyways going to back of what I was thinking about suicide and running away is because my mom told me that she shouldve had an abortion because she didn’t know she would hate […]
I am over living. I feel empty. I see other people smiling and being happy and I feel nothing. I feel like ending my life and disappearing. The only things i feel is sadness and pain. My family is threatening me if I don’t stop cutting they are sending me back to the hospital. I know they are trying to help but I like being sad and I like cutting. I have only felt sadness and pain and I am afraid if I keep living I am going to kill who I am because just being alive hurts. I want to be me when I […]
This world is not meant for me as much as i try to fit in it. i have a good job, my parents both love me in their own way, im well liked even though i have no true friends, im imaginative, funny and very smart and yet somethings wrong as i dont fit in this world i have recently cancelled all of my social accounts when i noticed that no matter how hard i tried to connect with people ( i have paid for my so called best friend to come to the cinema with me. ) that i barely get any replies and […]
The most beautiful thing happened when i logged in to write here. The check-mark on the login page said, ‘remember me’. What a wonderful thought indeed, made me smile. I don’t know why i chose to write here, why go through the process of registering and then confirming, checking email for new password and writing now. But anyways am here, let’s make the most of it..
Today is one of my darkest days. Three months back if anyone would have spoken of ending their lives I would have dissuaded them fervently. But bearing the same suicidal thought tonight, I somehow feel at ease with myself. Life […]
So let me just throw this out there.
I’m not suicidal but I have a chronic and, apparently, incurable illness that over the last 8 years has lowered my quality of life to almost comically unbearable levels. There are certainly days when I think, “so how long do you think you can endure this before jumping out of a fucking window?”
Let’s get real here – if you were an American being held prisoner by ISIS (or, for that matter, a suspected Muslim terrorist being held at a black site by the CIA) and tortured sadistically and de-humanized every day and was reasonably sure that […]
I’m ending my life tonight. I don’t want to talk about my story or leave anything behind. I just want to go since there’s no hope of getting better. As an atheist I don’t want to cease to exist, but there’s no other option if I want to escape a lifetime of chronic pain. Despite the fear I have I’m also feeling relieved knowing that it’s almost over.
This is probably the first and only time I will be truthful honest about who I am and I’m only doing this because I know none of you know me and never will. Anyways I’m a horrible person and don’t deserve the nice life I have. I’m not like most of the other people on here who have had terrible lives and just want to end the pain. I have many hardships but none nearly as bad as some, yet still here I’m am contempting suicide, so let me explain. I ‘ve done some pretty horrible things, one thing so bad that I can’t even say […]
Is fucking hell. I am so tired of it. The older I get, the harder it becomes to live in such an awful way. I will never be the person I am supposed to be, I will never be pretty, I will never be truly a happy person. Why even bother living?
Gah, I wish I wasn’t so scared of ending my life.