Tag:

ending

Uncomfortably Numb

by greystreet 2/17/2015

written by greystreet

This isn’t a “woe is me” post and I apologize in advance if it comes across that way. I dont think my issues or my life is any worse than anyone else here. Im presently numb and seem to be somehow getting more and more so as the days pass. I feel so absolutely and completely overwhelmed that it’s like I cannot handle anything else so I have become numb. I have been severely depressed and suicidal for awhile now, but have tried my best to hold on. There is nothing left to cling to.

My injury seven years ago left me with continual physical pain. […]

2/17/2015 2 comments

My own worst Enemy

by greystreet 2/15/2015

written by greystreet

Im so angry and frustrated right now. Why me? Why has this been my life? I never asked for any of this. Those were my thoughts and feelings for some time. I was angry at god. I was angry at the world. I was angry at my parents for the childhood I was robbed of and the issues I got because of it. Not anymore though. My anger or frustration is all directed inward now.

Why cant I get better? Why cant I get past my childhood? Why cant I let go of all the pain and hurt that haunts my every thought? Im not a […]

2/15/2015 4 comments

tonight is the night I float away

by cjnothing85 2/10/2015

written by cjnothing85

Well its official im the biggest loser in Houston! In a matter of 3days ive lost everything I love in this world! I lost my job, my gf and my son bc I couldnt find a stable living arrangement! And not bc I couldn’t afford it but bc of my record! So after blowing money for a cpl mos on hotels my family got fed up and left me alone, broke, homeless and miserable! Im so heartbroken right now! The pain I feel inside is unbearable! Im so worthless! How pathetic must I be to not be able to house my family! This has shown […]

2/10/2015 6 comments

Questions

by thehusk 1/30/2015

written by thehusk

There are times when I feel like I want to destroy the whole world – to obliterate everyone who’s life isn’t as wretched as mine – to bring it all to an end. If I can’t be happy, why should anyone else?

In my less childish moments, I suppose I believe that it’s good that human life exists. That there are many people who enjoy friendship, fall in love, pursue things that seem meaningful to them. Even if that necessitates there being people like me, who can’t experience those things, and feel their absence. Even if there are people who experience unendurable agony for long periods […]

1/30/2015 5 comments

The never ending war of a lost empty soul

by HereticBlood 1/30/2015

written by HereticBlood

Empty
Fading
Nothing

Now comes the warm pleasant burn
Drips become trickles
Trickles become waterfalls
Waterfalls become floods

Temporary relief, instant shame
What have I done
I’ve done it again

Always a disappointment
A Bitter sweet sin
Why is this the world I’m stuck in

Daily hell
Nothing but an empty shell
Drown the sorrows
Down another glass
Few more pills, maybe it’ll pass
Completely numb I lay awake
Praying for my soul to take

1/30/2015 0 comment

Naivety is a disease.

by AarinaDaae 1/27/2015

written by AarinaDaae

I should have known. I was stoic before I, really, met you. I was made of stone…granite! Nothing could break down these walls…then you came along. You changed me, somehow. You did everything right. You were nearly perfect! You were formal and appropriate. I convinced myself that I was being ridiculous. Why was I keeping you at a distance? I gave myself permission to let you into my heart and to see my soul…

HOW COULD YOU? I LOVED YOU! YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU!

Now where am I? I can’t eat without feeling sick. I go to bed with my last thoughts on you….and I wake […]

1/27/2015 1 comment

Tomorrow is the day

by ready_2_die 1/25/2015

written by ready_2_die

I am ending my life tomorrow. I just can’t keep going. I have ruined everything that was good in my life. I will send my son to my mom’s house. My boyfriend will be at work, so, I can go in peace. I wish counseling would have worked. I wish I was stronger. I’m just not. The self harm is taking it’s toll on me as well. There’s nothing here for me anymore.

1/25/2015 6 comments

Away

by HereticBlood 1/8/2015

written by HereticBlood

He’s away right now… So I quickly write my new theory and hopes.. Maybe.. Maybe he’ll get so angry he’ll kill me with his bare hands.. I never thought I’d die by the hands of someone else but myself after the first time but now I’m okay with it all as long as I’m at peace and in a never ending sleep.. Much love

1/8/2015 0 comment

Another to add

by HereticBlood 1/7/2015

written by HereticBlood

Slowly the hunger sets in burning and eating away at my sorry empty selfish soul… How did I get here… The cold is taking over and yet somehow it’s so comforting… So I’ll lay here in the dark my mind spinning itself into 10,000 tiny knots I can’t unscramble… Fucking get me out of this hell!!! Please I pray he will get so angry that he’ll just decide one day to finish me off with his bare hands… Kill my body like he’s killed my soul.. Please fucking kill me! Kill me now! My burdens will no longer be yours when I’m finally resting in […]

1/7/2015 0 comment

Do your friend’s words equal their actions?

by transition 12/29/2014

written by transition

I have shared with a few closer friends that I intended on ending my life recently, and of course they all wanted to stop me. I am struggling daily with the decision, but what I have found astounding from people is that when I try to find some way to do something positive, or productive with them (in order to move life forward and not think about suicide), they don’t show much interest at all. If I mention suicide, they are concerned for a while and ask what they can do. However, when it comes time to follow through… in fact a few seem to […]

12/29/2014 8 comments

If life were a movie, this is my review.

by Inconceivable 12/27/2014

written by Inconceivable

Dear Fandango users, allow me to say steer clear of “Life on planet earth” as it is the most overhyped, overrated films of them all. The plot was absene, the characters were unlikeable, and it had a horrible ending. That being said my friend I took with me loved all the little divets and “plot-twists”, Overall I can say that this movie is most certainly not for everyone. 2/10 – Me

12/27/2014 7 comments

I’m sorry if I bring someone down…

by Sky Saint 12/24/2014

written by Sky Saint

I don’t come to this site often but I’m really down right now and contemplating ending it.

I’m tired of feeling and thinking of death so much. I can’t do this another year. I can’t change no matter what because 1.) I don’t want to because nothing outside will change and 2.) I’m just in too deep.

I didn’t even buy anyone christmas gifts because I’m a terrible person – I just want to spend my money on what I’ll kill myself with.

sorry if this brought someone down. I just feel lonely.

12/24/2014 9 comments

im such a *****

by Jumper97 12/21/2014

written by Jumper97

I want to kill myself and once I’m in the act of doing so, I freeze and I cant? Why can’t I be one of the people that get hit and runned and shot by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why can’t I own a gun and place the cold metal barrel to the side of my head and with a slight movement…end it all; for once and for all. Do I pity my mom and feel sorry that all her children bring her disappointed and frustration is that it and ending myself make it hit rock bottom? Im tired and […]

12/21/2014 6 comments

suicide..?

by angie 12/20/2014

written by angie

12/20/2014 0 comment

Surround by people but couldn’t feel more alone.

by livinginthepast 12/16/2014

written by livinginthepast

I think back to a time of the hopes and dreams I had years ago of who I was going to be and fast forward I feel like I’m nowhere near those dreams. Past betrayals have left me guarded which has left me in a state of not being able to connect to anyone. I internalize everything and in public I laugh and joke as a way to hide and cope. The irony is I work in a profession where I’m surrounded by people everyday and it is my job to help them feel and look better. With each of their smiles I hope that […]

12/16/2014 2 comments

Trying to Find Hope

by depressed9 12/15/2014

written by depressed9

I need to find an outlet. I’m not sure what, but I need to. Every day I wake up and wonder why my life suddenly feels like a nightmare. After ending an emotionally and physically abusive relationship of four years, I have had my ups and downs. During our relationship, he could make me feel amazing and he could make me feel horrible. He would either tell me I was beautiful, or tell me he wished I was pretty, like the girl in his class, that I had a more toned body, instead of being so skinny, that I had bigger boobs, that my lips […]

12/15/2014 0 comment

Dark Night of the Soul

by thedeathproject 12/15/2014

written by thedeathproject

It’s that time again

It’s night and I cannot rest. There is no such thing as sleep.

And my mind couldn’t be crueler

I see blood on my arms and the vision in my mind calms me

But it takes more courage than I or alcohol has and another night I go unpunished.

The noise in my mind filters all the way through

There is nothing to combat all that anguish.

I fail, as I do time and time again

And you cannot solve what I can’t accomplish.

I can’t establish time and presence in this space

Because everything I feel abandons feeling.

I escape with no entity found

A soul without a means of ending with […]

12/15/2014 0 comment

To much to handle

by Mazamatt 12/13/2014

written by Mazamatt

I am 24 and I have struggled with these thoughts since I have been 16 or so there are voices in my head that constantly tell me I will never be good enough I will never be happy I have tried to kill my self so many times the only thing in my life that has stopped me is moving on without me I held a loaded 45 to my head last night and I have never come that close to ending myselfy my parents have said that everything that’s wrong with there life is my fault and they have no son my girlfriend is […]

12/13/2014 3 comments

2 years is 2 long

by pop180 12/9/2014

written by pop180

About two years ago, I started to realize that I was feeling very different. Being only 13, I didn’t really understand my feelings. I stayed locked up in my room when I wasn’t at school. I didn’t really talk to anyone. I wasn’t happy with my friends and I felt completely alone. I finally told my older sister that I was feeling “different” and she urged me to tell my parents but I didn’t have the guts too. I wrote them a letter explaining to them that I thought I was depressed and I wanted to go see a therapist. My parents quickly went to […]

12/9/2014 4 comments

My story

by littlerayofsunshine 11/20/2014

written by littlerayofsunshine

About 5 years ago I attempted suicide, to this day I now suffer from PTSD resulting in never ending anxiety… it never stops or leaves me alone. That being said, suffering from body image and depression has always been a struggle for me, recently this summer I started cutting myself and now it seems to be the only thing that keeps me sane these days. Weird. I know. But it’s something about the pain that reminds me i’m alive and still here, it’s like a horrible reassurance that I need to remind myself everyone now and then.

11/20/2014 5 comments

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