Wether you like it or not. Your feeling of worthlessness gets stronger by the minute. Everything irritates you event the sound of the Birds Tweeting is just enough. I feel tired just tired and there is nothing that seems to lifts you out of this mood you are in. It is what it is. I am afraid. I am afraid of leaving my sons on their own to fend for themself. Is suicide selfish or is it selfish of those around you that dont understand anything for you to carry on marching on.
My life’s not really going anywhere. I’ve got a lot of debt, no good job prospects, and I’ve given up trying. Some of my friends keep trying to help. Words of encouragement that by themselves don’t do jack fuck to change reality, A couple links to some stupid career builder websites and suggestions to keep checking Indeed, as if I haven’t done similar things or thought of that already. Yes, it could work eventually, maybe, but there’s more than that. I want a lover… Just, I’m tired of wondering how much longer I have to deal with this bullshit. So, I’m going to try to […]
I’ve thought about taking enough sleeping pills (OTC) to end it all. My desire to live is decreasing. I’m taking my meds. But I still have the thoughts.
I’ve tried to save myself for the past 10 years but I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to continue it. For the past couple of days I can only see the darkness around me without the light of hope. Nothing make sense anymore, nothing matters.
I seriously want to kill myself. More than anything. I said last night that I don’t think I deserved to live and his response was “Who are you to judge who lives and who dies”. Surprisingly that may have just proved how useless I really am. I am much more of a burden than I am worth. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I speak. I hate my unbreakable habits. I wish that at the very least I could cut deep enough to seem legit, but all I am is a superficial, self absorbed, burden on the earth. […]
There’s a number of ways this post is going to go and things I want to talk about that I’ve been thinking about. But it’s all just going to be one giant rant in the end of how much I want to kill myself. First, I’ve been beginning to notice once you’re 21, your life is over. There’s such a big difference between each year until that age. “remember when we were 16 and we used to do that?” We’re 18 now. Those 2 years make the world, but whether you’re 30 or 35, there really is no difference. That being said, I feel I […]
I could commit suicide. I know what it would do to my family. Sometimes that is enough but the probability of future despair and current pain. If I have no hope it will get better, why bother.
I’ve researched several ways to commit suicide. Most of what I read indicate a limited amount of success. I’d never use a gun, too messy. I’ve always gravitated towards RX and OTC drugs, My first attempt was Seroquil. I didn’t take enough, You need at least 10,000 mg. I’ve considered sixty Unisome. From what I’ve ready it may or may notwork
I’m not actively seeking, but I have a criteria of events that will steer me that way. I dunno, I just can’t cope.
I can’t stand it anymore. Seconds feel like hours, minutes like days. This microwave dinner just wont cook fast enough. What can I do? In need of serious help people.
Just wanted to say thanks to all that post and help others. I had the jab at mental health with a typical antipsychotic and the voices have dimmed for the first time in nearly 2years. I am so stoked and happy to see it all dimmed. Please god be it for a long long time. So thankyou for all your support through the hard times. Im in a country lucky enough to have this med. Fingers crossed.
Why is it that for the scariest and most dangerous undertaking of my life, there is no one I can turn to for help? Why do those who supposedly love me want me to continue suffering instead of helping me end my pain? Would they really prefer that I suffer a messy, painful death alone, rather than ensuring that I go out feeling loved and at peace?
I have only to imagine the reverse situation to have the answers to my questions. I know I could not stand by while my loved ones died by their own hand. And yet, this so called love is condemning […]
When i wAs younger my grandfather used to molest me too. Am I not a person? Do I deserve no respect? Recently me and my boyfriend broke up. He cheated on me. Lots of people are dissing me not him. How I wasn’t good enough. I don’t think I was either. If I was maybe he wouldn’t have cheated on me.
Everything blurs past in a haze. I’m not thinking straight, I’m barely thinking at all. Tears come to my eyes at the strangest of times. These rushes of sadness and loneliness are almost unbearable. When people ask why I’m crying I can’t explain, they’d never understand even if I could explain. People simply assume I’m looking for attention which of course I’m not and of course it also leads me into a deeper darker place. This is the point where the suicidal thoughts start to take over. I walk to a quiet place away from everyone. I smoke, but it’s not enough. That’s when I […]
I don’t necessarily know why I’m here. I guess I’ll just say that I keep thinking about killing myself. My stress is through the roof. Everything in my life is crashing down. I feel like I am making everyone miserable despite the fact that I am trying my best to be my best for them. The only reason I couldn’t ever kill myself is because of my mother and my brother. It would hurt them tons. I don’t know how much longer that will be enough or if I’m just some weak human being who can’t handle things that aren’t to her favor. I just […]
It’s like my mind is clogged with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. It’s never small things either, it’s like my mind is trained to force questions upon myself like “Why am I alive” and “What’s really the point to all of this”. I feel so alone, I have few friends and none of them understand what it’s like to wake up and wish you were dead. (I’m pretty sure that’s a song lyric)
I never talk to anyone other my psychologist about how I feel, I’ve tried before and I just get judged and put down. People think I’m an attention whore if my sleeve slips up […]
Ever since I was little I lived my life in fear that something bad was going to happen to me, and I wish I had never been my life.
When I was 8 my parents got divorced. I remember the family meeting my mom and dad had with my little brother and I. My mom decided one day that this life wasn’t good enough for her anymore, so she picked me and my brother up, gave us a tooth brush and shipped us off to our aunts house. Ever since then my aunts house is the place I’ve always gone. She’s given me some sort of […]
How tragic can be life
Thinking and talking about suicide
Just in the edge of our sad eyes
A tear is falling down, tired of the frustrated tries
And how broke can be our aim
Living depressed of saving fates
Just one cut can be enough
To end this hell and delete this chains.
But we’re not the falling angels
And we don’t need to go to heaven
As we collapse we can stand up
And keep fighting for the crashing of a few cups.
Wanting a rainbow without a storm
Wanting feel full without crying alone
You can’t say the true before to say […]
Not hurting my mum is starting to not be enough to keep me living.
I’m scared. Maybe being scared is a good thing, but suicide has stopped being an idea to become a real possibility.
Two weeks and I’ll be 25. Or not.
Ever been so desperate for a change that you jumped head first into a bucket of bleach? Yeah. I got to that point. Desperately needed something new. What is it about small changes that makes me feel better for a little while? Why does that seem to hold me over for a few days? Its still me. So why does it make such a big difference in my attitude for a short time? I feel okay today. Even after waking up to heartbreaking news. […]
I think most of us here have a lot in common. Details might be different from situation to situation, but at the core there are a lot of similarities.
Some here have a reason to live, and I think that is great. Some, like me, don’t. And that sucks.
But, for most of us in that second group, we have another thing in common. There is that one thing that could change that.
For me that one thing is quite simple. If only if she would just be my friend again. Not asking for anything more than that. Just friendship.
Even if the possibility of getting back together wouldn’t […]