I’m not much of a sharer and I’ll probably never share with someone one on one but I feel death haunts me now daily and no one sees how depressed and suicidal I’m getting because I have a way of putting on a mask at the time and look the happiest and I held on to chancr of relationships and love but the girls I’ve loved, liked or simply pursued have the same conclusion harsh rejection. Jay just made me feel like shit and now the voices say I should jump the bridge or let my veins bleed out or buy a nine and go […]
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everyone
I was 12. I fell for the first girl in my life. And I cried myself to sleep every night.
I was 20. Someone told me I was blessed that I should be envied by everyone. I just said nah. What was going on my mind was, which blessed one on earth will fear that she would die alone?
I am 25. This fear is just getting more and more real. And I still cry myself to sleep.
It’s not just the lack of romantic life that hurts. Not just being appreciated romantically by no one. But that you know your fate and you can’t escape from it. […]
Do we search for details of our own lives in songs, or are our lives all so fundamentally similar that a song can be about everyone and anyone?
All my life people always tell me that I am so strong. But I’m not. I’m not strong at all. I’ve just been through a lot of things and I’m still here. Just because I’m a survivor doesn’t mean I’m strong. People always tell me that I can handle anything, that I’m “superhuman.” It’s stupid…No one is superhuman. Just because I’ve gone through things and keep on going doesn’t mean I’m strong. It means I don’t look back. I just keep moving forward, but sometimes I question why. Why should I move forward? For what purpose?
Most would say I have a good life. I have […]
I’ve always been a sad person. Recently I thought I had finally found happiness and then out of nowhere he left me. I hate feeling so petty. The man I love left me. So what. It happens every day. Yet I have never felt more sad. I feel like a turtle that is on its back and can’t turn myself back. I finally let myself be myself and he left. One day we were fine and then the next we weren’t. The wind has been knocked out of me. I wish I could understand. I wish I could breath. I wish, I wish , I […]
There’s a lot of posts that go through here, so I expect that the people who read this post didn’t read my earlier one… I promised to say something if I somehow didn’t go through with my suicide. Well, long story short, my ex-girlfriend stopped me, and said to me that she ‘loves me’ and ‘cares’ about me deeply. I knew in the back of my mind that she had to say that whether it was true or not, and my gut told me it wasn’t. However, my heart needed to cling onto anything in that moment to help me survive. After going to the […]
Still here. Unfortunately. I can’t even find the bravery kill myself and make the world better for everyone around me (and for me).
My cousin hanged himself in 1993, out in Colorado. My other cousin was an alcoholic and flipped his truck in 1997 and offed himself that way. Not on purpose, I think, but how many happy alcoholics do you know? And here sits the other genetic freak of the family, the other poor sucker unfortunate enough to feel. I was 12 when the first one went, 16 when the second one did. They were both in their […]
“I’m not depressed and I’m not unhappy, because I believe that happiness is not a destination to reach and set up camp at, it’s a place you visit every once in a while when the stars are aligned just right or something along those lines.”
This was sent to me by someone in an E-mail a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking. I (like many other people here, I’m sure) have not been happy in many years and I wonder if constant, true happiness is common even for those who possess all of the things many of us relate to happiness – money, […]
Perhaps it was the ghostly feel of it all as I walked the streets. Perhaps it was the guy who had the sign “help I’ve disappeared”. I looked in the mirror once again. The traffic, the people, the buildings all belonged in a different dimension. I was in a dream, I was in a nightmare, I was in my life. Hello, I said but was ignored. Don’t they know I’m here, scream, you must scream. Scurry, scurry, they can’t feel you but you want their attention. Couples walk hand and hand, a man smokes a joint, another person screams at everyone and everything – she […]
That little voice is telling me to kill myself.
That little voice is telling me to push everyone away.
That little voice is telling me I have no worth living.
That little voice is telling me to stop eating.
That little voice is telling me I’m useless.
That little voice is telling me I am a jerk for pushing everyone away.
That little voice is telling me to die.
That little voice is me.
Just an average girl,
She always wore a smile
She was cheerful and happy for a short while.
Now she’s older, things are getting colder
Life’s not what she thought,
she wished someone had told her.
She told you she was down
And you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside
She told herself she was alright
But she was telling white lies
Can’t you tell, look at her dull eyes
Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
But she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
Summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves
‘Cause those cuts on her wrist were bleeding through you see
She knew she was […]
I am just going to kinda summaries my life I started hating myself very young I had nobody and when I did they would leave me because I was never good enough for anybody then I met a boy and thought I loved him but he ended up just using me and then now he tears me down even more than the rest of the people I now self harm constantly even though I’ve don’t it for a long time it has gotten worse and right now I feel everyone would be better without me
http://youtu.be/ynEaeoJJOyM
I don’t see a point of me being here. What is the point of trying when no one loves you ( I am not saying that I need to rely on someone to be here I am saying that it would be nice to be heard) I honeslty don’t care anymore. It really is all a matter of time before I am gone. No one sees me hurting. I am usually very vocal and speak my mind, I guess it’s not enough. Everyone is blind and doesn’t need to care. They only care about themselves. I don’t want to be the center of attention I […]
Its midnight. I’m sitting in the corner, wrapped in a blanket, trying not to cry my eyes out over nothing. Just because everyone else I know is happy, healthy, and in love is not a reason to cut. Just because I’m the only one who is fucked up isn’t a reason either. I love my family, I sometimes love my friends, but right now I don’t love me. And right now, I don’t think I’ll ever love myself. I’m worthless. Everyone else can figure their lives out, and I can’t. I will be forever in this frozen hell of self loathing
might not wake up
reallly drunk
i can’t do this again
so i am sorry to everyone.
seriously i love all of you,
honestly, i really love you all. you know who you are.
Will it ever end? Will it ever stop? I have so many questions and no answers for any of them. I have no idea what anyone else reality is but i can tell you for sure that mine is shit. I have absolutely nothing to stand on, no foundation or stable ground that I can always rely upon for safety or otherwise. Does anyone know what i am talking about?
I seem to chase away everyone that I love because I am so tired of hurting them all of the time. Every emotion that I have comes across as angry, even when I am hurt […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2BCI4twcXg
I am the ugly duckling. I seem to always be the odd one out. My mother never seems to approve of the friends I do make and what ever choices I do make are “Stupid” and not “Rational” because I am a teenager. I think that it is okay to make the decisions that I learn lessons from. I am safe and I don’t make the decisions that are unsafe. (most of the time) I seem to be a “good girl” because I don’t do drugs or drink or what ever people define as a “teen at risk”. I don’t judge people I try to […]
I feel so fucking ashamed that for a second foolish time I could believe it was actually worth something to someone!!! I knew from day fucking 1 when you said how you felt that it was a lie, but me being the stupid fucking ***** I am trusted and believed you.. You and all these other people are nothing but lies. That’s all everything ever is!! LIES!! I know I’m worth nothing, I knew I was never worth your time or anyone else’s.. I wish that you’d just admit it. Just once, admit that I am worthless and that I never meant a damn thing […]
I feel like I’m all alone, and unable to meaningfully relate to others. I go to work, quiet and shy. I just can’t make jokes and get along like everyone else. I drag myself through life with little to no motivation.
Its like I have this abundance of emotion I can’t get out. I’m only 21 years old but I feel like I’m wasting away. I can’t say I really wanna die, or kill myself. I just wish I were never born. Just fade out of everyone’s memories and life.
I hate to talk to people because I’m afraid of judgement, or not explaining myself right. Mostly […]