I posted on here a while ago asking for help with therapy. I wanted to ask why do people feel the way they do when you tell the truth about how you feel. Yes everything that everyone is going threw is sad, but if you really want help with it you have to be honest and tell the truth right. But then when you tell the truth you get nothing but negative reactions or people just blow you off. I compleatly understend now why everyone never really tells people there true feelings. Well not to people like there families. One of the worst part about […]
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Sometimes, I am torn between wanting to kill myself or wanting to kill myself in addition to everything else that breathes.
First off I am sorry Monster for you.
So yeah, lately I did became more calm and a degree under happy, rather satisfied. I have everything I need here, no work, no other people.
Speaking of people, I really feel like being asocial, I don’t wanna see anyone, don’t wanna talk and it is just fine to be honest, I have everything at home to be entertained so yeah.
Second, I guess this varies from guy to guy but I had like a maturation phase in some days, I rarely think about having a girlfriend now, even disliking the idea of having one. Which is keeping my head […]
Progress is hard to really acknowledge, because its hard to measure. Some days i still want to give up, but I’m coping with it better and actually beginning to deal with things in a healthy way.
There have been many things in my life at the moment which I’ve been tempted to quit and stop, I’ve felt like i don’t have the energy or motivation. I forced myself to continue my ‘hobbies’ and every time I’m glad i didn’t stop because it helps and makes me happy.
The night is the hardest, everything runs through my head and i struggle, i can’t sleep and when i do […]
Im so stupid.
Im so dumb.
Im such a bad person.
I could just leave.
I don’t understand.
Everybody hates me.
I don’t deserve anything.
Life is a trap.
Im so confused.
I could just die.
Torture.
Violence.
Kill myself.
Im mean.
Everyone is so nice, and I’m so horrible.
Im alone.
I don’t know why, I just wanted to make a list to see if I could right out everything from my head, I couldn’t, I’m not good at writing.
Pain (left side chest.)
Again energy less.
And yeah my thoughts. Crazier than ever. ( my emotions are on roller coaster.)
The wrost, just experienced the extreme pain in my knees. Unable to stand on my feets.
But I have hope. I’m stronger than ever. Cause I never thought I would survive this much of craziness. Thank to my soul mate. She makes everything so easy. Her presence can change me to this 🙁 into 🙂 .
its probably only me but I just find life too hard. I hate the way my mind works, I just see the bad in everything and feel like I cant fit in with these happy go lucky optimistic people.
I wish there was a way to talk about issues and improve things before they got so bad. But when I was a teenager, I thought they were already really bad, was struggling back then and I didnt want to admit to anything because that would put me in a deeper hole that I already was in.
Just wish there were people that could have helped me when […]
I was just delt a bad hand where everything is a struggle for me. I just don’t see the good in life. I trained myself cognitive behaviors and programmed myself to continue to thrive to be productive against my own negative thinking. I have excelled in going outside my box but It’s so exhausting and Im still not happy. Still not any further than I was. There’s nothing wrong with me hating life as long as I’m productive in society. That’s what all the doctors preach right? I’m done pretending, I’m done putting up a fake face. I just want to be in a room […]
Today was absolutely horrible . I’m in the verge of tears . I can’t wait to get home and cry in my bed.
It just started with waking up. Monday’s are hard to wake up to . I hate leaving bed .
Then class . My dental assisting teacher fucking pisses me off . She expects me to know everything and anything . I was taking X-rays on a mannequin (it’s so hard) and I was trying to make sure they were perfect so I could show her . She came in after 15 minutes and asked me how long am I gonna take ?! She […]
The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days). Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.
As it is, I may never see my ex again. She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me. It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.
And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby. This hurts so much. […]
For the past few months now my depression has been getting worse and worse and so has the suicidal thoughts. Enough so that I have attempted it a couple of times but it didn’t work. So I ordered some stuff to my uni flat which will mean it will definitely work. And I go back to my flat next week. I will finally be able to get of this place. I just have to get through this final week without attempting it a stupid way and then I will be able to go to my flat and end everything in peace.
life is pointless and we suffer for nothing.
so lighten up
everyone is fucked in some way, they might just not show it. including the people who you think have everything.
you can analyse things all you want but in the end you’re just trying to rationalise something to feel better. you’re just going around in circles and will choose whatever answer makes you feel the best. which means it’s all a lie.
you’ll become more and more desperate for psychological stability. from people, drugs, alcohol, whatever.
accept the things you can’t change, feeling anxious or miserable isn’t going to help you. what do you want?
there’s no point of looking outside […]
I hate myself so much, i’m a bad person and I get bored of everything so easily which I’m sick of. I don’t like being around my family, or most adults because they look down on my, ignore me and they get so overwhelmed with just little things.
I was going to wait three more years so I could leave everything, but to be honest I don’t think I will be able to wait that long. I have been depressed for a long time and there is not way it’s getting better. I don’t really know what to do. I think I will cut myself when […]
Lastnight was a dark dark time for me, I had everything almost ready to end my life. Then I received an email from someone on here. In my worst time I had someone who actually cared and didn’t even know me. That email brought happiness and light back into me, and I opened my eyes for the first time – my life hasn’t been easy and I felt like it was the last hit I could take!
my brake up – she replaced me with another man – she left me for dead – this was my worst love and her pluge will only continue to […]
I’m twisting and turning in bed, hardly any sleep. Just thoughts of her constantly flowing in and out of my head, what we could of been, what I should of done – what i shouldn’t of done. I don’t know if anyone here has ever been through this … But I basically replace, she led me into believing we still had a chance, and god I was trying my best, but she planned it so perfectly just to hurt me. After 3 years and a half.. Those memories of us just so meaningless to her , that she can just go and sleep […]
No social skills, no interest in making friends, no motivation for work or school. No one can love someone who can’t show love to begin with. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Everything in these 18 years of life have been useless just like me. Why am I here? I didn’t want to be born. I want to stop existing, I want a heart attack or stroke to kill me.
Nothing good comes out of me except bitterness, self-loathing, and hate for this cruel world that has tried to help me but I rejected around every corner. And now I’m unfixable.
I think i miss feeling depressed. Now everything’s just empty.
I tried to love myself. I tried to have confidence myself. But I couldn’t. And I can’t. I decided to kill myself as soon as possible. This is not temporary feeling. I been thinking about suicide since when I was 11. I couldn’t commit suicide because I lived with my family. Now I live by myself. So I can decide anything by myself. I’m scared of suicide. But I’m tied of pretending that everything is fine. And no one cares about me even if I cry. They don’t want to get in trouble. So they ignore. I’ve cared about friends, family … When they had […]
As I feel closer and closer to the end i have a sense of happiness and excitement for some strange reason. I don’t know if it’s the thought of leaving everything behind and not having to suffer any longer or what awaits me on the other side. Last night I sat in my room looking at old family photos and it brought a smile to my face of all those happy memories but now so distant and forgotten. I’m just not cut out for this world never have and never will be, so what’s the problem in me just ending it all now? I have […]
Oh god i want to die. Everything just hurts so much. I cant take it anymore