I am sad. Yesterday was horrible! I just broke down onto the floor. I don’t know how long I was on the floor, but it feels like quite a long time. I was saying ‘I can’t do this, I can’t fucking do this’. And I cut, and I played with my own blood. My floor has white and black squares, like a chess-board. And I was bleeding onto one of the white squares, and I was just playing with it. Then I cleaned my floor and put some alcohol onto my arm so that I wouldn’t get any weird infections. Later that night I was […]
Tag:
Failure
i attempted offing myself about a 2 weeks ago….ive just been to damn ashamed to say anything….what is this….attempt 12…..13maybe?? i think ive gotten to the point where im just used to the failure. The pills only made me spaz thru the night. i kinda get a kick out of how cruel God is. it surprises me tht i can still have a relationship with God, no matter how one sided it is…..i begg and pray, and he just looks on. i swear my pain and eternal torment is his entertainment! Atleast Death holds me in the night. tho its not time for me to […]
For some reason I feel I have to constantly punish myself for every mistake I make but am so unrelentingly harsh on myself everyone notices it, and sometimes ask why? I’ve always felt like I’m a total waste of space and often look at people around my age, 39, or younger who are successful and feel really threatened… and I think, what’s wrong with me? I mean I’m not exactly uneducated, unintelligent or untalented yet I feel like I’m such an utter loser and total failure in life I wanna hide forever. That I’m a fucked up, no hoping basket case! I used to have a […]
I thought i was doing so great. Love is my poison. Confusion is like a knife. The fact i only have guy friends and every girl i know hates me when i’ve done nothing to them.. it hurts. you feel alone. my first love has become a monster. I just recovered from self harm and suicide a month ago and now im falling again. i want to be strong but i feel like i want to take something burning hot to my arm. possibly attempt to bleed again. i feel like everyone just thinks im completely annoying. i let the simplest things get to me […]
i dont know who i am. i feel like the awkward girl who cant make friends. i feel like a loser. ive lost my self confidence and self esteem. i have nothing going for me. everyday i question myself and ask why did this have to happen to me? why was i made like this or put into such a cold world? those questions will never get answered..i miss having my family together. i miss being the good girl i use to be. now every weekend i want to drink and get drunk all the time. deep down i know i am a good person. […]
Im done with the pain. I’m sick of feeling like a failure. 35, live in my parents basement, hate my terrible job and boss, have no money and make no money. My depression has gotten in way of my shitty job and I’ll probably be fired when I go in on Tuesday. Everyone wants to tell me my life is going to get better. life has never been happy and good. I just dont see life getting better for a depressed cook who’s 35, single, making shit, and lives in his parents basement.
I expected life to get better when I quit drinking […]
WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE?!!!
i took a total of 18 painkillers, 7 ALIVE, 5 midol, and like 10 other types of pills and im still here! i didnt even have to go to the damn hospital!!
everytime i fail it just makes me hate myself even more. it makes me cut deeper and longer, and not even tht works!
why does my dear lover Death elude me?! why does he not want me to join him in a world we can spend forever in? i would be doing the world a huge frippin favor if i left!….whats keeping me here….and why?
Hi,
 I’m looking for someone to talk to about depression and suical thoughts. I’m very compassionate, caring and supportive. I believe we all need someone to listen to us and to talk to about our miserable lives. I’m a good listener. No thanks to anyone religious, I’m not. No one bipoar because they have manic stages and no longer care about a depressed person. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. No one married with children because it will just remind me I have no family of my own. I’ve attempted suicide many times and, obviously, am a failure at that just like in all aspects of […]
Seven years ago my husband left me and my one year old daughter. Â He was very verbally abusive and I never realized how much he tore me down. Â Since then it has been one bad relationship (if you can call them that) after another. Â I have been smacked around, forced to have sex, and used just for sex and I stupidly believed that people loved me when in fact they were just using me. Â I don’t think anyone has ever really loved me. Â The only person that has kept me going is my daughter but I am starting to think maybe she is better off […]
I’m so very afraid of failing. I have failed myself; I have become weak and patheticly sad. I have lost my ability to fight, tread on, or at very least endure. I failed my parents and any other relationship that became an affair of the heart. I am failing my children.  I am failing in my career and by the time my divorce procedes and finalizes, I will only be a financially failed shell of my former self.  –But most of all I am afraid of failing at suicide.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I…?Â
Insecure
Self destructiveÂ
Afraid to grow up
Nervous
Delusional
Crazy
SchizophrenicÂ
Proud
Dissociative
DilapidatedÂ
Narcissistic
Misaligned
Inoperable
Anorexic
FailureÂ
DisappointedÂ
Nostalgic
ConflictedÂ
Non-committed
Addicted
Afraid
Fearless
Normal
Perfect
Relentless
Depressed
Suicidal
Genius
Mad
Insane
I am!
There is something wrong with me!
I want to be committed to cure my ailments. I am of clear thought of body and mind for all pertinent matters. My fear of seeking help is loss of respect from my family, social status, future, but most of all, my 2nd amendment right to bare arms. I shall stand naked holding my weapon of choice and I will […]
Right now in my life things are not the best. I thought i got over the bullshit and hurtfull things in my life but spending a few days with your family brings it all back [I went on vacation with them for 10 days] and still they haven’t changed i mean yes we all live in the same house but i don’t see them at all because i hate being around them my dad and i never see i to eye and he is always telling me that am a […]
My mood lately has been up and down. But I came to a breakthrough. I don’t want to kill myself anymore (unless I’m feeling real down then the thoughts come back) but overall I don’t. I realize I’m going to die one day anyways so I’ll deal with all the crap til I do. Cause 80 years really isn’t that long (if i’m that lucky).
I still feel like shit, try not to think about what a failure I am but it’s very apparent in my life so not thinking about it or being aware is hard to do.
Momz is irritating once again trying to intervene […]
I’m at the point in my life my 23 year old life…Where I’m wondering is this world a state of my own design…Have I created this person that lives inside of me are is it as they say “Clinical Depressionâ€â€¦I’ve been this way for so long that I don’t know what happiness is…To the outside world have
everything a person could want are need but to me it’s like something is always missing…I’m always seeking that small unattainable piece of happiness that never seems to come my way…I push away people even though I need them more then air…I can’t work are go to school […]
I cant do anything right. i Cant even commit suicide. Ive tried. ive done everything i could. He doesnt love me. I will never be able to cope with that. Im not good enough for him. im a failure. I tried cutting. I tried not eating. Ive tried everything. I cant do it. i feel like shit, and my only option is to feel it. i dont know what to do anymore. I’m just gonna cut everyone out. until i die. because i have no purpose anymore.
I can’t begin to explain how tired I am of everything. Â Tired of being a failure, tired of the loneliness, tired of feeling like an alien that doesn’t belong anywhere, tired of not having any money, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of my shitty family, tired of having “trusted” friends stabbing me in the back, tired of hurting, tired of being hurt, tired of the sadness, tired of missing the only man I ever loved, tired of having everything go wrong, tired of the holidays … most of all, I’m tired of living.
I know people keep saying that tomorrow is the start […]
If I choose to end it all, I guess I should leave some parting words somewhere, and I suppose this is the place to do it.
Goodbye everyone, I probably won’t miss you as much as you’ll miss me. There’s no one that can help me now. I’m too much of a failure and a piece of shit to be helped. There was no hope for me. This was the only option. Please don’t think it was your fault, especially you Mom and Dad. It was my fault and my fault alone. If suicide is the cowards way out, then I am a coward. I have […]
When I was in the 7th grade my brother was sent away for therapy because he was dealing with alot of problems (ocd, tourettes, drug/alch abuse). In the 8th grade I started to feel neglected and hated by my parents, so i started cutting after every fight we had, which turned into coming home from school every day to cut my self. I stopped for a while, but then relapsed in the 9th grade. When this happened, i told my dad i was depressed and really considered killing myself and that i needed therapy. He said okay, and never brought it up again. After that […]
I tried. I gave it everything I had. But it just wasn’t enough. I have been on the up& down financial scale since I was 5. Since then I have lived in over 13 different residences, and have been evicted from each. You would think that it would get easier. It doesn’t. It hurts anew, and digs new wounds every time. Over and over and over again.
Well I suppose that is one thing I am not going to miss. You see after losing my job, benefits gone, savings gone, (along with dignity and self-respect of course) this is my last eviction. I have no resources […]
I feel like a fail at everything. Like I’m never good enough. I try and try, but it just never works out for me. I just can’t take living anymore. I have no future. So it’s not worth living anymore. I feel so alone. I’ve cried so much I have no more tears left in me to cry.